Newly widowed and trying to move on alone

S

Shirleymc

New Member
My husband just passed away unexpectedly and I am now alone. It is so quiet now and I turn around to say something to him and he is not there. I am sad and mad and scared. I have never really lived alone much. I am not sure how to move on from here.
 

I'm sorry for your loss Shirley. It does sound like quite a change. I've never been married but used to live with my mom and daughter and had lots of animals, but over the years it all changed, my mom died, my daughter grew up and moved out, and all the animals died until there only remained me and a cat. Then I retired and decided to sell everything and travel in a nomadic way. So I started doing that last Friday. Not recommending it but maybe you would like now to move someplace else and do something you always wanted to do?
 
Shirleymc said:
My husband just passed away unexpectedly and I am now alone. It is so quiet now and I turn around to say something to him and he is not there. I am sad and mad and scared. I have never really lived alone much. I am not sure how to move on from here.
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If there someone you can talk with, to help you get through this? A minister? A counselor?

very very sorry about your loss.

take care...
 

Shirleymc said:
My husband just passed away unexpectedly and I am now alone. It is so quiet now and I turn around to say something to him and he is not there. I am sad and mad and scared. I have never really lived alone much. I am not sure how to move on from here.
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Please reach out to someone near you. What you are feeling is normal but no need to walk that path alone. There are many support groups online but I think talking to someone face to face is more beneficial.
Peace, it will get easier as time goes by.
 
Yes, please reach out to someone you are close to. And please feel free to share a little bit about yourself and even about your time with your husband to those of us in Senior Forums if it helps. We are a caring group here, and sometimes it is cathartic to just "unload". There are some amazing people here.
 
I’ve been alone now for 4 years after getting divorced. Very difficult late in life. I have found joining groups thru my church and working part time very helpful. I also got 2 kittens that are 2 yrs old now and about to add a puppy to our family. My pets are very good companions. I wish you luck. There’s other people out there going thru similar circumstances. Know that your not alone.
 
Sorry for your loss Shirley, I hope you have some family and friends around to support you during these dark days of grief

Be kind to yourself, there’s no time limit or rush to move on, personally, after a year or so I found voluntary work helped me, it’s nice to know you are helping others and feel appreciated

Wishing you all the best with happier times ahead
 
There was two things that helped me the most. One was talking to friends that had gone through the same thing. I knew they understood when I talked to them what I was going through and that made a big difference.

The other thing that helped was having an inside pet. Having her here helped so much also. I didn't feel as alone and she helped me adjust so much easier.

As others have stated, it will get better. It just takes time.
 
I'm so sorry. I've never been married but I can only imagine how hard this has to be. You will need to give yourself a lot of time to adjust. I hope you have additional support, people in your life, pets if you want them. I know how pets are literally life savers.

I hope you stay with the forum. It's a lot of company for me.
 
Sorry to hear about your lose. I also live alone and talk to myself all day long. I used to think that people who talked to themselves were "nut" cases. Now, I know better!

Just keep in mind that "time heals all wounds." There is a light at the end of the tunnel but it might be a long time in coming but it will come. Best regards to ya!
 
Shirleymc said:
My husband just passed away unexpectedly and I am now alone. It is so quiet now and I turn around to say something to him and he is not there. I am sad and mad and scared. I have never really lived alone much. I am not sure how to move on from here.
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I am sorry for your loss. It is always difficult to be departed from somebody that you care. Please try not to be alone. Have you got a family or friends that you can turn to cope with your loneliness? Meeting up or speaking to somebody may help you to get through this difficult time.
Take care, and please be safe 🙏
 
I am so sorry for your loss. I am not widowed so I can't speak from experience. I live alone after leaving my marriage four years ago. I know from other people who have lost a spouse that what helps a bit is finding some kind of new interest. As others have said, a pet helps.
 
By next Thursday, you are not going to be all better, and ready for the rest of your life. You've just been dealt a devastating blow. It is going to take a long time to heal. You are going to go through the stages of grief. You are going to go through a lot of emotions, but that is part of the healing process. But, right now, like everybody said, you need to talk to someone. Plus, you have to get out of the house everyday- positively no excuses. It doesn't matter what you do. It takes time to heal.
 
So sorry for your sudden loss. I lost my husband 9 years ago. The hardest thing was coming back home and the house would be so quiet. I lived alone for 7 1/2 years, but the pressure of keeping a house was too much and did get lonely. I have been living in an assisted living for almost two years now. It nice to have so many friends nearby, but can always have solitude in my apartment.
 
Shirleymc said:
My husband just passed away unexpectedly and I am now alone. It is so quiet now and I turn around to say something to him and he is not there. I am sad and mad and scared. I have never really lived alone much. I am not sure how to move on from here.
Click to expand...
I am soory for your loss..those words are often repeated but I do not know what else to say. I lost my husband over 2 years ago. The way I keep on, is talking to him every day. I have a photo of him in my bedroom with a very familiar look/smile and I often talk to him. I am convinced he is somewhere doing something and hears me.

Don't be hard on yourself..feel what you feel, cry when you want to, and just know you will have both good and not-so-good days. AND..come here often especially if you do not have many friends to talk to. I wish you peace 🌹
 
Shirleymc said:
My husband just passed away unexpectedly and I am now alone. It is so quiet now and I turn around to say something to him and he is not there. I am sad and mad and scared. I have never really lived alone much. I am not sure how to move on from here.
Click to expand...

Don't know if Shirley will come back or not, but if you see this Shirley, know that all you are feeling is normal ...... sad, mad, scared.
There are many grieving phases, and it all takes time to get thru.

It took me at least a few years to settle into a new normal after my husband died, and we had been together since high school.
 

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