jujube
SF VIP
Oh, and let's cogitate here on the pretentious menu descriptions that some restaurants insist on using. I've gleaned some from the internet:
Utah Sweet Onion Slivers. "A Uinta range of hand-selected, hand-battered sweet onion slivers, served with a medium-spiced dipping sauce." In other words, a fancy Blooming Onion but "hand-selected".....
A New York/New Jersey stuffed-clam treatments with a little lemon foam. Lemon foam? Really?
Anything "deconstructed". What, are you eating at IKEA? You have to put it back together yourself?
Vegetables are never "picked", they're "harvested"
"Artisanal". Everything's artisanal these days. I guess there's nothing but artistes in the kitchen.
"Coulis". Your vegetables are pureed in a blender, smeared on the plate and you have to pay double for the privilege of eating your carrots with a spoon.
"Reduction". In other words, somebody left the gravy on the burner too long and it got too thick. Voila! Reduction!
"Terrine". Fancy meatloaf.
"Kraut Pot Pie" The kraut in your Kraut Pot Pie might look like dust, because the chef house-fermented, then dehydrated, then pulverized that kraut, then sprinkled it over the crust. Because he could.
Salads served in mason jars. In fact, anything served in mason jars, except some moonshine, which HAS to be served in mason jars.
We ate at a fancy farm-to-table restaurant in North Carolina once. The chef had to come to our table and explain that the cheese came from cows on the sunny side of a certain mountain and that the grey streaks in the cheese were actually ash from the fire in the curing process. We learned that the greens were "hand-harvested" at dawn (as opposed to "foot-harvested" at dusk) and the crostini was baked in hand-bricked ovens. It was very informative and we were very hungry.
Utah Sweet Onion Slivers. "A Uinta range of hand-selected, hand-battered sweet onion slivers, served with a medium-spiced dipping sauce." In other words, a fancy Blooming Onion but "hand-selected".....
A New York/New Jersey stuffed-clam treatments with a little lemon foam. Lemon foam? Really?
Anything "deconstructed". What, are you eating at IKEA? You have to put it back together yourself?
Vegetables are never "picked", they're "harvested"
"Artisanal". Everything's artisanal these days. I guess there's nothing but artistes in the kitchen.
"Coulis". Your vegetables are pureed in a blender, smeared on the plate and you have to pay double for the privilege of eating your carrots with a spoon.
"Reduction". In other words, somebody left the gravy on the burner too long and it got too thick. Voila! Reduction!
"Terrine". Fancy meatloaf.
"Kraut Pot Pie" The kraut in your Kraut Pot Pie might look like dust, because the chef house-fermented, then dehydrated, then pulverized that kraut, then sprinkled it over the crust. Because he could.
Salads served in mason jars. In fact, anything served in mason jars, except some moonshine, which HAS to be served in mason jars.
We ate at a fancy farm-to-table restaurant in North Carolina once. The chef had to come to our table and explain that the cheese came from cows on the sunny side of a certain mountain and that the grey streaks in the cheese were actually ash from the fire in the curing process. We learned that the greens were "hand-harvested" at dawn (as opposed to "foot-harvested" at dusk) and the crostini was baked in hand-bricked ovens. It was very informative and we were very hungry.