JaniceM
Well-known Member
- Location
- still lost between two shores..
Until he passed away more than a year ago, I had a neighbor/friend for well over a decade. Early on, he made a statement: “Mixed race people don’t fit in anywhere.” I’d never heard anything like that before, and initially thought he meant locations. That wasn’t it. He said he’d spent much of his life in (as he called it) a ghetto on the West coast that was dangerous, extremely violent, and survival was a matter of staying with one’s own “group” while trying to keep “others” out.
This way of life should not be occurring in this day and age.
The majority of places I’ve lived, race was never an issue. Of everywhere I’ve been, one continues to stand out as my favorite. There were Blacks, Whites, Filipinos, Asians, Native Americans, biracials, multiracials- but those features made no difference. The general consensus was we’re all in this world together, so let’s get along with each other, help each other, be friends.
The reason, I believe, had much to do with it. One of the children was a second-grade student at the nearby elementary school; she liked to run around the apartment complex letting us know about her school days. One day I asked: “So, Belinda, did you learn anything interesting in school today?” Her face lit up happily as she exclaimed: “Yes! WE are AMERICANS!” She did not say “Hispanic” Americans, nor “Mexican” Americans.. just plain Americans.
Perhaps we should return to the wisdom and common sense of that seven-year-old. Instead, decades down the line and a different location, there was this: https://www.nationalreview.com/2017/03/high-school-kids-usa-themed-attire-basketball-game/ My first thought when I read the article was members of my family in every generation (including currently) did not serve this country in the U.S. military just so some nutty high school coach could slam teenagers as not being ‘normal’ and not being ‘educated’ because they wore the colors of the American flag to a basketball game.
Quite a few years ago, I read a comment (not on this forum) that went something like ‘people are naturally more comfortable around their own kind.’ I never heard anything so damned stupid in my entire life. This viewpoint is why this country is coming apart- as well as harming families and individuals.
Can it get worse? Of course it can…
It must have been 2004. An individual who described himself as a member of the Aryan Brotherhood stated: “God meant for the races to stay separate- it says so in the Bible.” With the useful habit I learned from my father- the ability to listen to the most outrageous remarks without reacting- I said nothing. This fellow, who called himself J.R. continued: “Yes- it says in the Bible- God created the exact number of races for the exact number of continents.” (Note: think back to your elementary school’s social studies classes- how many races are there, and now many continents are there?!) So I couldn’t resist addressing this: “Really? How many races are there, anyway?” He looked at me as if I were a total idiot and exclaimed “There are THREE races- Black, White, and Mexican!” Trying to stop myself from choking, I continued: “But what about Native Americans- you know, Indians?” and he swooped his arm in a dismissing motion and replied “Native Americans are White!”
I’d never heard any of this before either, and figured J.R. had made it up. Quite a few years later, though, my neighbor recommended a movie. It was this one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_(2016_film) Later, I also read: “In his January 22, 1965 refusal to vacate the 1959 felony conviction of Mildred and Richard, Judge Bazile wrote: “Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay, and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”
J.R. did not seem to be a well-educated person, but I wondered if this was somehow the source of his ridiculous tirade. It’s easy to dismiss it as nothing more than flat-out ignorance from one individual- but we cannot afford to do that. Because ignorance has a way of gaining momentum. Search engines at the time brought streams of remarks from all around the web from those who fully believed it came from the Bible- and, thus, from God. Nobody questions its validity- or even its original source.
The catch: it didn’t originate with Judge Bazile, either. A much earlier reference- 1867- was from a judge in Pennsylvania whose priority was to continue segregating railroads. Believing that allowing races to mix on railroads would eventually lead to intermarriage, he began his longwinded statement with “Why the Creator made one black and the other white, we know not..”
HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE CREATED?!?! There is nothing in the Bible that even suggests God created any humans other than Adam and Eve. Yet, with these two judges insisting separate races were created, and including the fact it takes two people to reproduce, Bazile was basically asserting God made four individuals- a Black couple and a White couple; and the Pennsylvania judge had gone further to basically claim God had created ten people!
‘God said: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth”.’ Regardless of how some engage in prooftexting words, terms, and statements and claiming they’re about race, nothing but this statement appears in the Bible. People went out and took on physical characteristics compatible with the environments/climates. And that’s all there was to it.
Yet, months ago I read something (also not on this forum). An individual I didn’t know made a dumb remark, but someone more familiar elaborated on it. The individual said ‘some people don’t like it.’ It went way beyond (another word they didn’t like) an ignorant attitude- the bottom line is some have the gall to believe their opinions should affect the lives and decisions of other people. How can opinions affect other people? “Don’t like” comes to “disapprove”- and it shows. For some, showing it is intentional. As one example, a celebrity remarked that when he sees an interracial couple, he ‘gives them dirty looks.’ Not ok- not ok at all. It put me in mind of this t.v. commercial: https://www.today.com/news/cheerios-ad-mixed-race-family-draws-racist-responses-6C10169988 and, as the one person said, there are “fringe-crazy people.”
What it comes to is there are multiple topics. In the United States of America, one goal should be to deal with territorial enclaves where it’s still about “turf” and survival. Additionally, “hyphen communities” have got to go- although this crap about “one’s own kind” is getting worse and worse. The reason it’s getting worse needs to be addressed and dealt with: this increasing emphasis on ‘culture.’
It is not new. With quantities of definitions, one states: ‘Culture is an umbrella term which encompasses the social behavior institutions, and norms found in human societies, as well as the knowledge, beliefs, arts, laws, customs, capabilities, and habits of the individuals in these groups. (Culture is often originated from or attributed to a specific region or location).”
One of my early introductions came from a man who was older than my parents; whenever he came to visit, he’d ask for his coffee to be served in a glass. When curiosity eventually got the better of me, he replied that’s the way it was done in (lack of any other terms) the old country. But while there’s nothing wrong with continuing a tradition, it’s gone way past that- individuals bringing their “attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors” to the U.S., and even expecting laws to cater to them. And in the meantime, the U.S. is splintering into nothing more than large quantities of “hyphen communities” where sticking to one’s own kind means shutting “others” out. And regardless of where I’ve been or for how long, this is relatively new to me.
However, similar to what I said to my former neighbor, it does have a lot to do with location. A long time ago, the subject came up on the forum. I gave quite a few examples to illustrate my point. As one example, I mentioned two celebrities- both male, Black, around the same age, but their experiences in the U.S. were much different from each other.
One of the many differences was the approach to their interracial marriages. Both of these men were married to White women. One celebrity wrote two autobiographies, which I read, plus numerous interviews he’d given over the years, and nothing whatsoever indicated that there was any problem or controversy about his marriage. The other, though, remarked that he couldn’t take his wife when he went on tour, because in some areas there was the very real concern that he could get arrested for simply walking down the street with his own spouse. So which one represented the “Black experience”?
Another example: there were articles around the web stating that even with ‘progress’ White kids still surpassed Black kids when it came to achievements; it also said Asian kids far surpass all other racial groups. One of the first kids I met when I moved here was 13 years old, Asian. Considering the “lifestyle” of the area, I instinctively knew it would not turn out well. Years down the line, I saw his mugshot- ‘heroin and weapons, with intent to deliver.’
What I’m driving at: you cannot pigeonhole anyone into a specific group and claim that’s who the person is. However, I encountered it here on forum a long time ago. I don’t recall the specific topic, but it had something to do with bad experiences due to race. When I said I didn’t have those bad experiences, a person remarked “You excluded yourself.” It hit me hard- it was like “You’re not one of us, because you didn’t have an experience we had.” If individuals were to remark that I’m not one of the Boomer generation because I’ve never used drugs nor been involved in other things I hear “Everybody” did, all I’d need to do is mention my age or birth year; when it comes to race and ethnicity, though, it’s not nearly as clear-cut. Individuals should not have to prove who they are by providing documentation of lineage, nor be approached with “You are what you look like” or “You are what you most look like,” or “If you did not have certain ‘experiences’ you do not count.”
Worse, the excessive emphasis on “culture” causes more unnecessary burdens. Some material I read shows it’s a problem and getting worse. In interviews with a large number of people, there was usually a noticeable difference between older folks and younger folks. Although there were exceptions, for most of the older people who’d had difficulties with their interracial marriages and/or mixed-race families, the pressure was EXTERNAL- someone’s parents/family didn’t want the person to marry the other person, and similar malarky. With young people, though, the pressure was generally INTERNAL- like the cliché from the olden days “I don’t know who I am!” solely because they feel they’re supposed to be practicing multiple “cultures.” In other words, identity crises- not because of who they “are,” but the ways they’re expected to present themselves and live their lives.
The stories included individuals who expressed problems because they weren’t considered to be ‘enough’ of various races to claim ‘identity’- and those who stated the most important factor was what they ‘looked’ like.
The schools I attended did not have “cliques;” one was diverse, but that wasn’t an issue either. I never new anybody who thought there was anything unusual about mixed-race friendships or interracial dating. I’ve been in this country’s largest cities, small towns, somewhat-rural areas, suburbs, ghettos, areas that were racially exclusive (everybody but me) and those that were very diverse.
However, while I have had family/relatives who had bad experiences due to race or ethnicity, for the most part the entire subject is “all new to me.” It’s downright ludicrous to have any opinions on anyone based solely on race/ethnicity, and equally ludicrous to choose friends, partners, or associates based on one’s so-called “own kind.” And when you throw “cultures” into it, it’s messier yet. However, as a University professor said in a recent news article, ‘Your environment can impact how you think about race.’
This country is coming apart; and individuals are coming apart. It is the antithesis of what Rev. Martin Luther King taught- and his “dream” seems to be fading away more and more as time passes. The “content of character” is becoming less and less important as”what you are” rises to the top of priority lists. It’s time to put a stop to it.
You can find common ground with nearly everybody- and it should not be based on the color of one’s skin or where one’s “people” came from. The exclusions and prejudices I’ve encountered in recent years really have no place in OUR country.
