Nothing is ever the same after returning from war

"Join the Air & Space Forces Association and 40 supporting organizations at the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., on Saturday, Jan. 13, 2024, at 4 p.m. ET for a special commemoration of the service, courage, and legacy of Vietnam War Veterans and Gold Star Families, and a renewal of American commitment to account for those heroes who remain missing 50 years after the war’s end.

All are welcome to attend. If you are unable to attend in person, the event will be live-streamed here."

A Celebration of Character & Courage: Vietnam War 50th - Air & Space Forces Association

I am a Gold Star Wife( Mid Atlantic Chapter NY ) and maybe they will have a ZOOM presentation as well.
We can Never forget the sacrifices of these veterans and how it impacted their families ( and still does).

There are Gold Star Husbands as well:
Gold Star Spouses Day April 5, 2024
 
Nothing is ever the same when a war has ended and loved ones have been gone, in some cases, years. After WWII, those who came home had to adjust to an entirely changed nation and its families. They just wanted to forget what they went through and get on with their lives.

For those who were lost, families in many cases were still looking for closure and the meaning of it all.

I too, am a Gold Star wife of Vietnam and simply have put it behind me. The less said the better. I care not to dwell on it nor participate and any of the events for same. But, this is how I am. Some need that support and constant remembrance. I do not.
 
CallMeKate said:
Yes... true. I'm a Vietnam wife and what you have said is not just valid for the '60s and early '70s. The "gone forever" and those melancholy feelings and memories can pop up just as strong 50+ years later. "Gone forever." Yes. :cry:
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Yes... very true. I was feeling melancholy last night. There are memories that sometimes just appear and sweep you up. Time, or years become irreverent when it happens.
 
Not all Veterans that were in Vietnam and wear a hat, shirt or jacket fought in Vietnam. Not everyone was a combat soldier. You don’t get the real feel of knowing what it’s like to be in war, unless you were in combat. Yeah, you hear the artillery being fired, you see the jets flying over and you may even see the men coming back from the battlefields missing limbs, but none of that makes you a combat soldier or Marine. Even the smell changes you.
 
Born_To_Lose said:
Not all Veterans that were in Vietnam and wear a hat, shirt or jacket fought in Vietnam. Not everyone was a combat soldier. You don’t get the real feel of knowing what it’s like to be in war, unless you were in combat. Yeah, you hear the artillery being fired, you see the jets flying over and you may even see the men coming back from the battlefields missing limbs, but none of that makes you a combat soldier or Marine. Even the smell changes you.
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Amen...... C.I.B. The only medal that cements your brotherhood.



C.I.B.jpg
 
Back in the day, it was especially so for Black soldiers who fought for their country. Not only did many get disrespected while in the army, but came home and couldn't even go into any diner or restaurant they wanted for a cup of coffee. Because they didn't serve us. That happened to my grand uncle and I'm sure tons of other Black soldiers who fought in the wars. Moving on from that, I imagine that some women did not wait for their men to return, so the soldiers returned to a different home life.

And young men who couldn't even drink legally were in the midst of horrible scenes of war. No wonder some turned to drugs and others suicide. I was dating a young man who fought in Viet Nam. When he came home, he was never the same. He used to sit on the steps of a bank in town looking like he was completely out of it. Sometimes he'd be in the park. It was so sad to see. And many our veterans have not gotten the care and support they deserve!
 
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OneEyedDiva said:
Back in the day, it was especially so for Black soldiers who fought for their country. Not only did many get disrespected while in the army, but came home and couldn't even go into any diner or restaurant they wanted for a cup of coffee. Because they didn't serve us. That happened to my grand uncle and I'm sure tons of others soldiers who fought in the wars. Moving on from that, I imagine that some women did not wait for their men to return, so the soldiers returned to a different home life.

And young men who couldn't even drink legally were in the midst of horrible scenes of war. No wonder some turned to drugs and others suicide. I was dating a young man who fought in Viet Nam. When he came home, he was never the same. He used to sit on the steps of a bank in town looking like he was completely out of it. Sometimes he'd be in the park. It was so sad to see. And many our veterans have not gotten the care and support they deserve!
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Sad but true. Can't speak about any other outfits, but we all bled the same and the brotherhood was tight.


always raining.jpg Libby.jpg
 
OneEyedDiva said:
Back in the day, it was especially so for Black soldiers who fought for their country. Not only did many get disrespected while in the army, but came home and couldn't even go into any diner or restaurant they wanted for a cup of coffee. Because they didn't serve us. That happened to my grand uncle and I'm sure tons of others soldiers who fought in the wars. Moving on from that, I imagine that some women did not wait for their men to return, so the soldiers returned to a different home life.

And young men who couldn't even drink legally were in the midst of horrible scenes of war. No wonder some turned to drugs and others suicide. I was dating a young man who fought in Viet Nam. When he came home, he was never the same. He used to sit on the steps of a bank in town looking like he was completely out of it. Sometimes he'd be in the park. It was so sad to see. And many our veterans have not gotten the care and support they deserve!
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I have heard and read of accounts. Unimaginable. It's heart breaking. :cry:
 
My ex went to Vietnam at 18 and wasn’t a combat soldier. He was a marine that repaired airplanes . When we got divorced he was 52 and still having horrible nightmares. I’m sure he saw and experienced awful things and I know it was much worse for others.
 
Combat Vietnam vets (Marines )( incountry) were never awarded the CIB, as that is an Army award.

Also they never received the CAR-(Combat Action Badge) until 1969:
"The Navy CAR covers the Navy and Marine Corps since the establishment of the CAR in 1969. Additionally, the award was made retroactive to 7 December 1941.[7]"

Many Marines ,however, had already received their DD 214s due to the one year DEROS, prior to 1969 and never got the CAR on their DD214- however, as in my husband's case there was more awards and other info on his DD214- corrected with DD 215,
and I realized that I could apply for the CAR, in his behalf, since he is deceased.

REVISED ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA FOR AWARD OF THE COMBAT ACTION RIBBON (CAR) AND UPDATED COORD

Born to lose said:
"Not all Veterans that were in Vietnam and wear a hat, shirt or jacket fought in Vietnam. Not everyone was a combat soldier. You don’t get the real feel of knowing what it’s like to be in war, unless you were in combat. Yeah, you hear the artillery being fired, you see the jets flying over and you may even see the men coming back from the battlefields missing limbs, but none of that makes you a combat soldier or Marine. Even the smell changes you."

I profoundly agree.

Squatting dog said:

"Amen...... C.I.B. The only medal that cements your brotherhood.: for ARMY vets , Yes !!!!

Any veteran with a CIB or CAR on their DD214- or DD 215 is assumed by VA to have experienced a major stressor, and this supports any PTSD claim they file.


I was a volunteer ,working with combat vets for 40 years, (still helping some) and I only knew of one Vietnam vet, who claimed he had the CAR on his DD 214, but VA would not diagnose him with PTSD. There was probably more to this than he shared.

I asked to see his denial of PTSD benefits letter , Redacted as to name,address and C file #, from the VA. But he suddenly left the veteran web site I worked at and never came back.

I can repeat here ,how to get a DD214 changed, if anyone asks here.
 
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squatting dog said:
All of us that have gone to war, and made it home will understand this one thing.
"You can't go home again."
Because you've changed, home has changed, and what you remember is gone forever.
It's a lonely, melancholy feeling. :(
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Like many others, I kept all that buried for many years, just didn't want to give it a voice. In a conversation with a new acquaintance, he asked me when I was in VN. It shocked him when I said, "last night". He help me though with his response. He said, "just own it, it isn't going anywhere, and you may as well let it out". That ended up being a real turning point for me, and I've learned to sleep a lot better since then.
 
TennVet said:
Like many others, I kept all that buried for many years, just didn't want to give it a voice. In a conversation with a new acquaintance, he asked me when I was in VN. It shocked him when I said, "last night". He help me though with his response. He said, "just own it, it isn't going anywhere, and you may as well let it out". That ended up being a real turning point for me, and I've learned to sleep a lot better since then.
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Took a long time, but, finally able to share/explain some of what happened there. (to me anyway)
Still have the occasional night sweats, but making progress.
 
A good friend of mine was a combat soldier during Vietnam. He was shot 4 times and one of a handful of people that survived the battle. He spent a year in the hospital. He died a slow painful death at 67 from cancer caused by agent orange.

The VA refused to attribute it to agent orange. His wife would have been eligible to go to the new VA nursing home if he had won. It was 8 years ago and back then about half of the veterans were winning their claims. It depended on the judge you had.
 
I have never served so I can not speak about the horrors of war but I do believe that every vet who returns from combat should be treated with respect , honor and dignity and be compensated much more than they are for their service. It seems at times, prisoners are treated better when they are released then our vets are these days.
 
Really? You don’t speak for all of us. I was in the the 1st Marines out of Camp Lejeune and Quantico where I was introduced to AWT or Advanced Weapons Training. It didn’t matter what color of skin you had. We were all in the same brotherhood watching each others backs. It also didn’t matter if we were on the battlefield or getting drunk at Rosie’s in Saigon.

I met two Rangers in Saigon that were so drunk, they didn’t even know their names. Talk about battle scars of the mind. I asked the one dude if I could help him to his Jeep and he couldn’t answer me, so I asked another Marine to help me load these two men into their Jeep. In the morning, the Jeep and the soldiers were gone.

Five of us, three white guys and two black men, who were all Marines, but from different Divisions decided to go to a strip club. There we met up with the two Rangers again. I thought everything was cool, but when I asked them if they got back to their Unit OK, the one man asked me if I was the guy who put them in the Jeep and I told them “Yes, I did,” I thought I was doing them a favor.

Next thing I knew, a fight broke out. I later learned that they took their Colonel’s Jeep without permission and came into the city to get loaded. They had planned to hitch a ride back to their base and let the Jeep sit, but when they found the Colonel’s Jeep with them in it, they were busted. One of the Rangers was going to break a chair over my head when one of the black Marines grabbed him and threw him against the wall.

After all was said and done, the Rangers got charged for taking the Colonel’s Jeep without permission and disorderly conduct. The five of us got off with no charges because we were defending ourselves. Had it not been for the black Marine stopping the Ranger from hitting me over my head with the chair, I may very well have ended up in the infirmary.
 
And looking back the generals were hated by the Left in America for allegedly fighting an unjust war against Vietnamese. The Left never respected the effort but only wanted the war over. We had narrow minded ideology and knew nothing about fighting combat. Naive not stupid.
 
Teacher Terry said:
A good friend of mine was a combat soldier during Vietnam. He was shot 4 times and one of a handful of people that survived the battle. He spent a year in the hospital. He died a slow painful death at 67 from cancer caused by agent orange.

The VA refused to attribute it to agent orange. His wife would have been eligible to go to the new VA nursing home if he had won. It was 8 years ago and back then about half of the veterans were winning their claims. It depended on the judge you had.
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During the last few years, due to the PACT Act that was passed with a unanimous vote a number of agent orange related conditions have been added to the list of presumed service connected disabilities. It does require the Veteran to be certified as agent orange exposed. Even that was simplified. I had to have a full physical examination to gain that certification 10 years ago.

Seeing so many veterans impacted by that nasty stuff I must say it's about time it was recognized by the government. I have a buddy who has endured cancer owing to the pesticide. The published number of deaths is 58,479 related to the Vietnam war, but that does not include those who fell victim to agent orange, a true form of friendly fire.
 
I look at that picture and I see powerful thought. Genuine expression of what the sacrifice of our armed forces has given us and protected us from losing. Thanks.
 
A very good friend of mine was asked to write a piece for the Central Valley Honor Flights who take 75 veterans and their sponsors to Washington D.C. to pay tribute to the ones who died in battle and to bring closure to the ones who survived. He posted it on FB. I spoke w/him and he said it would be ok to give you his FB page.

Shane Petersen...check it out.

ETA: Central Valley Honor Flights is also on FB.
 
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My grandmother had 4 sons and one son-in-law, who served in World War II. All 5 came back alive. In truth, I don't think any saw much action. Not everyone who is in the military during war time, is on the battlefield, or in the air, or on a boat. None ever talked much about their military service. My father, and his brother Bud were always joking around and having fun. My other 3 uncles, Bill, Vic, & Norm (my aunt's husband), didn't laugh or joke as much. Maybe they did see a little action during the war. Or maybe that was just their natural personality. Who knows? They're all long gone.
 
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