Now that you are older and wiser....

M

MarciKS

SF VIP
If you had it to do all over again...would you still get married or stay single and why?

If you never married...would you marry or stay single and why?

If I had known what I know now...I myself would have remained single and gone into a computer career somehow. I would've remained single and taken care of myself. I have seen what it costs a person to rely on someone else when forever isn't always an option.

Bonus question...Did you end up in the career you wanted or did you get stuck in whatever was available to you at the time?

Personally I would've chosen to get into a computer career if I'd had the finances & the access to classes at the time. I made a wrong choice & ended up in food service. I'm a lifer in a hairnet. LOL!

Discuss and enjoy!
 

Although I travelled a lot when I was a child, I had little understanding of people and how their minds work. Hence, I allowed myself to be coaxed into marrying a man I hardly knew. Now, my attitude would be totally different and I wouldn't make the same mistake.
 
Rosemarie said:
Although I travelled a lot when I was a child, I had little understanding of people and how their minds work. Hence, I allowed myself to be coaxed into marrying a man I hardly knew. Now, my attitude would be totally different and I wouldn't make the same mistake.
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Just out of curiosity are you still married to that man?
 

I had 2 common law marriages that weren't so good but I learned some things. That's the way it was and I don't have magical thinking about making the past different--it was what it was. I do like to have a man in my life but don't presently. It has been my choice for many years to be single but I honestly miss the company of a nice gentleman, if I can find one out there still.

My career didn't end up so good either with becoming disabled and unable to work for many years. I did however get a good education and enjoyed learning the things I did. My health still limits my ability to work. There were a good many years I was a housewife and then more years I had a job and didn't like the work I did but I did get to set my own schedule which was a redeeming thing.

What I do now is be a homemaker for my pet family and myself.
 
I made a good choice and have had a wonderful marriage for 47 years . Wouldn't change that bit.

I'm not sure about having 'luck'. To me that means making a good choice in whatever situation you find yourself. I didn't end up in the job I expected, but managed somehow to end up in a pretty decent job that paid well and took me all over the UK, Europe and occasionally, the USA. I was never terribly ambitious, but was happy in what I achieved.

Now I'm retired and living comfortably in a way I could never have predicted. Life is just one series of random and unpredictable events.
 
I've been single - married - single. Because of death and this happens. I did not marry until I found someone truly wonderful who felt the same about me so I can't say I would have done differently. I would not marry for convenience and since you can't force love, I think I did it right the first time.
 
If I could do it all over again I’d have stayed single. Married for the first time on my eighteenth birthday with the father my last two children. Father number one had never been in the picture. It lasted two years. After a total of three disastrous marriages and divorces and a major medical issue I was single again at 35 and determined to stay that way.

That lasted for almost twenty years until I met my girlfriend. Should have waited patiently for her to come along from the very beginning.

As for career, well I never had a career or job in the usual sense but what I did and still do have left me well enough off to live comfortably.
 
Capt Lightning said:
I made a good choice and have had a wonderful marriage for 47 years . Wouldn't change that bit.

I'm not sure about having 'luck'. To me that means making a good choice in whatever situation you find yourself. I didn't end up in the job I expected, but managed somehow to end up in a pretty decent job that paid well and took me all over the UK, Europe and occasionally, the USA. I was never terribly ambitious, but was happy in what I achieved.

Now I'm retired and living comfortably in a way I could never have predicted. Life is just one series of random and unpredictable events.
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Not terribly ambitious here either. My life has been pretty mediocre but not bad.
 
Enjoying these responses. Hope others will join in. I've been alone and totally independent for so long now that it irritates men that I don't "need" them like I used to. I am my everything. My own all in all. My own bread winner and care giver. I'm no longer able to share my controlled life with someone giving them a chance to control part of it again. I like doing my own thing.
 
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I've always been single and probably would be if I had a do-over.

The right person never came along and I was never willing to settle for those that did.

As far as my work goes there was never a plan or a career it just happened. I wish that I had taken a few more chances and pushed myself a little harder in the early years.

All in all, I'm satisfied with my life and comfortable in my current situation.

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I’ve never married but live with a hot headed but caring, loving man for 32 years now. We’ve raised 2 bunnies, 2 shepherds, 2 schnoodles and a Yorkie. We’ve been interior camping, have travelled halfway across the country, and have been best friends. He isn’t perfect but neither am I . He accepts me as I am and I try to do the same.

If I could change my life, would I do it the same?
Yes. I love my man more than anyone in this world yet maintain a sense of independence which I like. It’s a perfect balance for me. He is a good, hard working man.

As far as career goes? I would have done that all the same also otherwise I wouldn’t have met my current husband. No! I wouldn’t have changed a thing . Life is good.
 
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When I was in my teens I had aspirations of becoming a professional dancer, as in Latin & Ballroom. My dance partner felt much the same. We competed as amateurs, trained, taught, rehearsed and choreographed but no matter how much effort that is put in, if the extra bit that's required, the talent that is, then it will forever be a struggle to challenge the top flight.
Our finances were always stretched, so when I approached her father to ask permission to share a room when we were dancing away from home, he was quite emphatic. "If you want to sleep with my daughter, marry her." And to everyone's surprise, that's what we did.
We didn't persevere with our dream of turning professional, simply due to money. Ballroom dancers are not well paid, it's why so many retire from competing and open a dance school.
My plan B was to study academically, and climb the greasy pole called management, which I did. My wife trained in the health service and became a paramedic. Our dancing continued as amateurs we also, without the time consuming rigours of dashing here there and everywhere, expanded our dance repertoire to include social dances like Charleston, Jitterbug and such like, it was much more fun.
Would we do it all again? Who knows? Presumably we would come back in much the same way as we have lived this life, our brain are from the cradle, a blank canvas, therefore our choices would be that which was available.
 
If I had it to do over again, I would have never gotten married or lived with anyone. I realize now that I lived with someone, parents, my son or a husband my whole life. I love living alone, as I do now. I remember being really happy, if my husband was not going to be home overnight for some reason. I felt so free. Maybe it sounds selfish, but I don't care.

As far as a career, I was basically a stay at home mother and wife, so not being married, I would have had to do something different. Not sure what.
 
MarciKS said:
If you had it to do all over again...would you still get married or stay single and why?
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I sure hope so

Marriage to my woman of 52 yrs saved my wild hind end
Doubt I'd been around very long if I hadn't
MarciKS said:
Bonus question...Did you end up in the career you wanted or did you get stuck in whatever was available to you at the time?
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Never wanted a 'career'
It just happened
Worked hard....very hard
Got kicked upstairs
Stayed upstairs for over 30 years
Did some traveling
Learned to golf

No complaints
 
If i knew then what i know now, i’d be in the top 1%...lol

Seriously tho....i was married for kawiiiiite a few years and the majority of those years were good to excellent....but when things went south they went wayyyy south fast. So would i do it again? Yeah since the good years were really good & there were enough of them to make it a worthwhile endeavor. But would i do it again as in get married again? Not a chance.

Career-wise....i needed a job way back when & fell into what turned out to be a career. No complaints at all but the most exciting aspect of it was that there was a paycheck attached to it, a whole lot to be said for THAT. The job was good to me and i was good to it so overall a win-win.
 

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