Nursing home won’t let me go home

Im so sorry youre going thru this. I newish here so Im not familiar with your situation.
I just wanted to say that I moved the husband from a nursing home that was too far from home to one that was a lot closer.
I called the closer home and they did the paperwork for the move. You dont have to stay in that particular home.
You or your DIL can do a google search for nursing homes with your zip code. You can move to any home that has open beds
Not all nursing homes are like your present one.
 
hollydolly said:
there is a medical reason tho'....she's in pain after her fall.. she has pain in her rib cage and Torso.. she is suffering from pain in her foot.... she readily admits she will need help at home, which all points to the hospital knowing she's not fit to go home. She's underweight, and not eating enough...

They're not prisons, they're keeping you, Pepper .. .. to get you well enough so you can go home and live a normal life with some personal help there..

It's highly frustrating for you to be in hospital I understand that totally.. but if you leave now, you'll be back within days and maybe in worse condition, meaning an even longer hospital stay ... and I'm sure you know that really.. ...
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totally agree!! unless someone can harness proof that home care will be efficient and sufficient by recognized personnel? If this cannot be guaranteed then the hospital can be sued
 
I went through this with a friend of mine. The nursing home was trying to keep him for the money. I had quite the argument with the doctor trying to get him released. If you leave against medical device, they will not pay medical bills.

I finally told the doctor that his brother was a lawyer, and I had him on speed dial and I would call him right then and then the doctor agreed to release him. I’m really sorry this is happening to you Pepper.
 
Veronica said:
Im so sorry youre going thru this. I newish here so Im not familiar with your situation.
I just wanted to say that I moved the husband from a nursing home that was too far from home to one that was a lot closer.
I called the closer home and they did the paperwork for the move. You dont have to stay in that particular home.
You or your DIL can do a google search for nursing homes with your zip code. You can move to any home that has open beds
Not all nursing homes are like your present one.
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this sounds a good plan?
 
hollydolly said:
there is a medical reason tho'....she's in pain after her fall.. she has pain in her rib cage and Torso.. she is suffering from pain in her foot.... she readily admits she will need help at home, which all points to the hospital knowing she's not fit to go home. She's underweight, and not eating enough...

They're not prisons, they're keeping you, Pepper .. .. to get you well enough so you can go home and live a normal life with some personal help there..

It's highly frustrating for you to be in hospital I understand that totally.. but if you leave now, you'll be back within days and maybe in worse condition, meaning an even longer hospital stay ... and I'm sure you know that really.. ...
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She’s in a nursing home that has a rehab section of the nursing home and not a hospital. Medicare here pays for 21 days of care and then you’re either expected to go home or be bad enough to move into the actual nursing home wing and then if you have money, you pay for your own care and if you don’t, you go on Medicaid.

There can be quite a bit of financial incentive for a nursing home wanting to keep somebody past the 21 days. My friends that have went into the rehab section of nursing homes to recover from a illness or injury have experienced that even if they are better before the 21 days are up, the nursing home does not want to release them.

I will never go to one of those places to recover. I have seen too many bad things happen to people.
 
There has to be a physician involved here. If he/she discharges you, they have to let you leave with instructions on how to take care of yourself. I've never heard of a situation where you are held in a nursing home against your will, unless remanded there by a court order. You should have your family contact an attorney to find out exactly what is going on here.
 
Lewkat said:
There has to be a physician involved here. If he/she discharges you, they have to let you leave with instructions on how to take care of yourself. I've never heard of a situation where you are held in a nursing home against your will, unless remanded there by a court order. You should have your family contact an attorney to find out exactly what is going on here.
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The problem for my friend was that the nursing home had its own doctor and he was the one that wanted to keep my friend. I knew it was a financial decision.

I had not thought about trying to get my friend’s doctor involved, but threatening him with his Lawyer brother was all it took to get his release the same day. I think contacting an attorney is the quickest route to getting released with the nursing home doctor’s permission.
 
Pepper said:
My well being is my business. If I don’t want it it’s up to me and me alone
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I understand that. My comment about my mother was this. She was living on her own and we had someone who came in during the day to check in on her. At night, she would fall and there was no one to help her. She had fallen so many times that the EMT was on speed dial. They would take her to the hospital and return her to her home, then she would fall again.

When I told her we had found a place in assisted living, she crossed her arms and screamed at me that she would never move to assisted living. Well, she did and she loved it there. I've always admired your experience, determination and downright chutzpah, Pepper, but sometimes it is best to listen to others who might have your best interests at heart. I do hope, whatever the outcome, that you are the better for it. Everyone in this forum wants to see you healthy and happy.
 
I’m not sure what is happening in this situation but when my mother was in rehab we had to have a team meeting among family, care providers, social workers, etc… to evaluate Mom’s ability to function in key areas and discuss next steps. These meeting included Mom and were all completely above board.

Most of the discussion revolved around Mom’s ability to safely/indendently perform the basic annd instrumental Activities of Daily Living or ADLs and to understand what resources were available to bridge any gaps.

It quickly became apparent to everyone but our Mom that an assisted living facility was the most practical solution.

It turned out to be a good solution for everyone including Mom but the transition and necessary attitude adjustment was difficult.

The 6 Essential ADLs
  • Bathing/Personal Hygiene: Cleaning, grooming, and maintaining personal hygiene.
  • Dressing: Selecting appropriate clothing and putting it on.
  • Toileting: Safely getting on/off the toilet and cleaning oneself.
  • Transferring/Mobility: Moving between positions, such as bed to chair, or walking.
  • Continence: Managing bladder and bowel functions.
  • Feeding: The process of getting food from a plate into the mouth (not cooking).
Instrumental ADLs
  • Medication Management: Safely preparing and taking medications.
  • Meal Preparation: Planning and cooking meals.
  • Housekeeping: Maintaining a clean and safe home environment.
  • Transportation: Driving or arranging transportation.
  • Shopping: Purchasing groceries and other necessities.
  • Communication: Using the telephone, email, or other devices.
 
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Pepper said:
This rehab/nursing home is trying to block my release by saying, in their opinion, that I need care 24/7.

My DIL has insisted on my release tomorrow. They have threatened to not give permission to insurance for home care.

I want to go home. I know I need some assistance once there.

I’m sleeping in my clothes tonight. I’m planning a getaway tomorrow no matter what. I have no money or credit cards with me to pay for a cab.

I trust my DIL to help. I’m sorry to say I don’t trust my son.

It’s my life and I want to go home. It’s my business if I can live on my own. Mine
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Can't your DIL say that she takes you in?
And then just don't do it if they can't, but maybe then they let you go. It may be that they think it's too dangerous alone. My mom doesn't go. She also gets no help. She needs her hair washed. I just bought a plastic thing and do it together with my brother. She lives with him though.

But if she would ask nurses to come help they might do the same as those who forced my dad to go to a home. He really needed it though and he liked it there, but he really needed 24/7 help. Alzheimer, Parkinson, cancer, bedridden, couldn't get out of bed himself. We just visited and took him to the beach. It was a good home with sweet people, but no way my mom goes there.
 
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Aunt Bea said:
I’m not sure what is happening in this situation but when my mother was in rehab we had to have a team meeting among family, care providers, social workers, etc… to evaluate Mom’s ability to function in key areas and discuss next steps. These meeting included Mom and were all completely above board.

Most of the discussion revolved around Mom’s ability to safely/indendently perform the basic annd instrumental Activities of Daily Living or ADLs and to understand what resources were available to bridge any gaps.

It quickly became apparent to everyone but our Mom that an assisted living facility was the most practical solution.

It turned out to be a good solution for everyone including Mom but the transition and necessary attitude adjustment was difficult.

The 6 Essential ADLs
  • Bathing/Personal Hygiene: Cleaning, grooming, and maintaining personal hygiene.
  • Dressing: Selecting appropriate clothing and putting it on.
  • Toileting: Safely getting on/off the toilet and cleaning oneself.
  • Transferring/Mobility: Moving between positions, such as bed to chair, or walking.
  • Continence: Managing bladder and bowel functions.
  • Feeding: The process of getting food from a plate into the mouth (not cooking).
Instrumental ADLs
  • Medication Management: Safely preparing and taking medications.
  • Meal Preparation: Planning and cooking meals.
  • Housekeeping: Maintaining a clean and safe home environment.
  • Transportation: Driving or arranging transportation.
  • Shopping: Purchasing groceries and other necessities.
  • Communication: Using the telephone, email, or other devices.
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@Pepper can you handle the six essentials? If so, present that to them.
Your DIL should commit to helping with the instrumentals.
If that is in place they should have no reason to keep you.
 
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Pepper, I am so sorry you are being put through this. But keep a cool head. If you show them you are angry or upset they could use that against you. Can you speak with the nursing home administrator to discuss releasing you? I think if a patient is mentally capable, they can choose to leave. I have seen a rehab social worker come here with a patient who lived here to evaluate their apartment. To see if they could manage in their apartment. One could and was able to come home. One could not and sadly went to a nursing home.
 
katlupe said:
I think if a patient is mentally capable, they can choose to leave. I have seen a rehab social worker come here with a patient who lived here to evaluate their apartment. To see if they could manage in their apartment. One could and was able to come home. One could not and sadly went to a nursing home.
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I don't like this. Every Person should always have the possibility to choose between living in a nursing home (If you can't live at home at all) and Medical Aided Assisted Dying (MAAD).
In such a case I'd choose MAAD, that's for sure.
 
Lewkat said:
There has to be a physician involved here. If he/she discharges you, they have to let you leave with instructions on how to take care of yourself. I've never heard of a situation where you are held in a nursing home against your will, unless remanded there by a court order. You should have your family contact an attorney to find out exactly what is going on here.
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^^^^^^
The above response most closely aligns with what I'm finding on legal sites, and I saw this:

Facilities cannot legally hold you against your will, but they may require you to sign an "Against Medical Advice" (AMA) form or a liability release if your departure is considered unsafe or premature."
 
Lewkat said:
There has to be a physician involved here. If he/she discharges you, they have to let you leave with instructions on how to take care of yourself. I've never heard of a situation where you are held in a nursing home against your will, unless remanded there by a court order. You should have your family contact an attorney to find out exactly what is going on here.
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My aunt passed out and was taken to the hospital where her electrolytes were restored and the doctor admitted her to a nursing home, which made sense because she was 250 miles away from nearest family (me) and all by herself. She put on weight, got better, and wanted to go home.

While the nursing home wanted her to stay, they openly told me that they had no ability to force her to stay. I took her home, and we hired two home care nurses to spend time with her each day. They were actually moonlighting from the nursing home. It worked fine. She lived the rest of her life at home.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
^^^^^^
The above response most closely aligns with what I'm finding on legal sites, and I saw this:

Facilities cannot legally hold you against your will, but they may require you to sign an "Against Medical Advice" (AMA) form or a liability release if your departure is considered unsafe or premature."
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Yes- that's what I would have said, unsure if laws changed during last couple of years or different in different locations.
 
Sunkist said:
Yes- that's what I would have said, unsure if laws changed during last couple of years or different in different locations.
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Even though my mother had Alzheimers and had been in a nursing home for some months, when my wife retired, we checked her out, thinking with my wife's help she could be managed at home. We tried that several weeks or maybe 3 months (I don't recall exactly how long) and found it was not going to work out as we hoped, so we checked her back in and experienced no issues with insurance or anything else during this process.
 
Sunkist said:
Yes- that's what I would have said, unsure if laws changed during last couple of years or different in different locations.
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That (signing out AMA) is what I was thinking, too. It's an option in Minnesota, at the facility where my older daughter works.

I'm sending you hugs and good wishes, @Pepper. I wish I had some great advice for you as well. Please do keep us posted! I'm worried about you.
 
AMA gives the insurance company an out for paying any medical expenses incurred. Don't go doing AMA until you verify you won't get stuck with a massive bill.
 
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