Older men dating younger women and visa versa.

dilettante said:
Uh oh. Now we're venturing into the minefield of changes to the body and demeanor after menopause.
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Changes period. I mean, forget menopause, a life slightly misled has left its scars on me too!

But a younger partner surely would suit those who are still..... adventurous, no? I'm sorry if that offends anyone here, it's not intended. As a man, without wanting to make a definitive statement on the topic, I think I can erotically tell the difference between a 60 year old woman, and a 25 year old. I guess that can come across as harsh. But by the same token, a fit 20 year old man is going to have more....... intensity that I can muster. I mean, the mind is willing, the body not so much. :D

Of course, it's likely the man in such a relationship is/was already married to someone else, perhaps someone of a similar age. The reasons to trade for a younger model could involve that along with many other reasons. Marriages go stale for a lot of reasons.
 

MarkD said:
As someone who hasn't dated in over 40 years, what would I know? On the other hand I have opinions like anyone else but not many judgements. I never expect anyone else should see things as I do. Sometimes I wish they would where public policy is concerned but as for their own personal private choices I'm a big believer in the Golden Rule. It isn't any of my damned business. ;)



My wife is 10 years my senior. At 30 and 40 it mattered not at all. at 70 and 80 it matters more as we both fall apart on our own trajectory. The idea of being with someone older never had any special appeal and the idea of being with someone much less mature has no appeal at all in terms of a relationship. But those are just my unsought opinions .. like all the others.
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The idea of being with someone younger never really appealed to me either. I met him at work. I was in charge of quality control and he was in charge of production and we argued often. It was his job to ship out as many IBM circuit boards as possible and my job to inspect them to make sure they were of good quality.

He was only 24 and I was 29. Heā€™d buy me jube jubes. My coworkers would constantly poke fun of me claiming he was after me and Iā€™d say I was too old. Before I knew it, I was in love. Back then our age difference didnā€™t matter much. I could run circles around him. Now Iā€™m in my mid 60ā€™s and heā€™s not even 60 years old. Heā€™s definitely in better shape than me physically but only since Iā€™ve been out on medication that make me gain 40 extra pounds which has been this year but I can still keep up with him when we go for walks and can do yoga poses heā€™ll never be able to do. Iā€™m still in love with him.

Heā€™s the rock in our family. Heā€™s physically and mentally grounded at all times. He fixes our cars whenever something happens to them. He fixes our house whenever anything happens to it. Iā€™d be lost without him. Then again, Iā€™ve helped him take apart and refinish an entire back wall when we found mould in our walls. It was caused from him attaching a back deck without adding flashing. We had to jack up our house to work on it. We replaced joists, subfloors, part of the floor, installed new doors and windows.

Iā€™m basically his side kick when thereā€™s jobs to be done cause heā€™d rather we fix things so we know itā€™s done right. We rarely if ever hire other people. The only time we hired someone at our last house was when we went to sell it. I even helped him redo the entire kitchen. We make a good team. I love my guy more than anything. Now we are looking into getting dog trailers so we can go biking with our dogs. Lol. Heā€™s a blast. Iā€™d be lost without him.
 
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I've read my whole life that men desire a younger woman as psychologically, perhaps that is the wrong word, men seek women who can reproduce, even if in the conscious mind the man does not want (any more) children. Like it or not, it makes sense to me. We are animals, after all.

Psychologically is wrong word, can't think of right one.
 

I guess when some read this thread, they'll think of a 96 year old rich dude and his smiling 22 year old widow. I think there's a range of age differences where it doesn't matter- maybe 10-15?? I don't think the age difference matters all that much, but there has to be a reason why one of the partners is dating a non age appropriate person. "Love" may not be the answer.
 
I think of finding someone as the luck of the draw. It's always a matter of being at the right place at the right time with someone who is open to the idea and who finds a certain chemistry with you. That's a lot that needs to come together.

I also believe that chronological age isn't always a predictor of chemistry.

Women are always open to possibilities. So if a man shows interest, it's pretty easy from there.

My dad used to call it "greasing the skids" when a woman wants things to go her way.
 
My best friend from school married her boss who was 25 years older than she. Their marriage lasted 40 years until he died. They were very happy together. It was one of the best marriages Iā€™ve ever seen.
I, on the other hand dated a guy when I was 21 years old who was 20 years older. We wound up living together and moving to another state.
For me, the age difference mattered. He enjoyed different things than I didā€¦. Different music, different movies etc. He didnā€™t go to concerts with me.

His friends were all his age. Their wives didnā€™t like me ( I think they may have worried about their husbands taking up with a younger woman). The husbands were flirtatious. I felt disrespected.

We lasted 5 years and then I left and went back to Maryland.
To each his own!
 
Heā€™s what wikiā€™s says
PeppermintPatty said:
Why Do Men Like Younger Women? 13 Possible Reasons
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sour grapes
disparagement of something that has proven unattainable
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o_O That's a pretty bitter article.

If the prospective partners' ages are too divergent it poses many problems. Worldviews based on life experience will be wildly different. Even conversation at the same level of maturity could be difficult.

Yet the guy can get those things anywhere: relatives, other guys, neighbors. The one thing he needs and can only socially acceptably get from one significant other is sex.

Before long a lot of guys face problems of their own, of course. Soon enough they begin to disparage sex as well. It just doesn't start coming on at 51 years of age and isn't as abruptly catastrophic.
 
I can barely handle the advances of women my age. Not sure what would happen if some gal 30 years younger turned her charms on me.

I know several guys in their 60ā€™s who married women about 30 years younger. Two now have children by their new wife. 70 years old with an energetic 2 year old on their knee. 80 years old raising a teenager. Not for me!

Their main goal in life is to live long enough to see the child graduate high school. I have better things to do for the next 18 years.
 
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Having children in her 40s is a dicey and possibly dangerous proposition for a woman and any offspring. I can't see a guy in his 60s fishing much deeper than that.
 
My wife is quite a bit younger than me. I turned 69 this year. She'll turn 40 next year.

There's only 4 things that make it work perfectly. It isn't complicated at all.

1) She does her thing and lets me do my thing, and vice-versa.
(iow, we stay out of each other's way because we trust each other)

2) We agree that enjoying listening to our spouse talk about their interests is better than having a bunch of interests in common.

3) We have agreed on an end-game...one ultimate goal for the future that both of us can work toward.

4) We agree that sex is not a *thing* that either of us can demand, but an expression of our desire for each other, and a super-fun way to strengthen our relationship and explore our own sexuality, each other's sexuality, and sexuality in general.
(I might have made that sound more complicated than it actually is)
 
I think as long as both partners are consenting adults and nobody is being coerced or exploited - no problem and nobody else's business.

I know a couple with an age gap of over 30 years,they have 6 children, seems to work for them.

Also know many other couples with age ranges of 10 -15 years. No big deal

My husband is 4 years older than me - according to someone upthread that is an age gap, being more than the 2- 3 years said to be alright.
Have never thought of it that way myself. Some people have a narrow definition.
 
Ha, a topic I can relate to! I was married for 21 years, single for 14, and married for 24 and continuing.
During my 14 years of singledom, I dated a number of women, a few of which lasted over 2 years. One woman was 13 years younger than me. We traveled a lot, had a great deal of "fun", and enjoyed being together. Her tastes were normal for her age, and mine were (and are) normal for someone younger than I am.

I never considered marriage though, for that spread of 13 years made a difference emotionally. Still, we had fun!
 
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