One-Upper

Have you ever known anyone that no matter what you said you had, they had it better? Also, that when most people brag, they speak in generalities?

For instance, my mom had an aunt like that. One time at a family get-together, my mother mentioned to her that I had been placed on the honor roll in school. Aunty immediately piped up with, "Well, that's nice, but my (her son's name) is an executive with a large mid-western corporation!" (I made note that she did not specify what his position was or with what company).

Another time she visited us just before Christmas to announce she would not be giving Christmas gifts that year because her husband had bought her a mink and they were going on an overseas vacation. Now was that mink a powderpuff and was it genuine mink? Was "overseas" to Nantucket Island?

I'd like to hear your stories.
 

We've got a family member (in-law) who can pee (nice way of putting it) up the wall higher than anyone else. Been over 40 years and he continues it nonstop. He'll never change.
 
Had a friend that started doing that, so one day I had enough and told him that it was an honor to be his friend, because I like to be close to the center of the universe...... That opened up a conversation and found out that he had never realized he was doing it. The friendship still exists, so I was lucky we talked.
 

Try to see the humor and smile, it will confuse them!

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Had a friend like this, no matter what illness you or your family had, hers had it too ten times worse, she's been everywhere, done everything, had more, her family are more successful, I couldn't stand it in the end and just didn't enjoy her company so I let the friendship drift and rarely see her anymore.....
 
We've got a family member (in-law) who can pee (nice way of putting it) up the wall higher than anyone else. Been over 40 years and he continues it nonstop. He'll never change.

My pissing contest days are over. With my prostate I'm doing good if I can reach the ground.
 
We've got a family member (in-law) who can pee (nice way of putting it) up the wall higher than anyone else. Been over 40 years and he continues it nonstop. He'll never change.

I'm guilty of upmanship.
When in the Navy a couple of us went to see the bridge over the Tallahatchie River. While standing in the middle with no traffic we decided to pee into the river.


My buddy next to me said geeze that river water is cold. I said to him yeah & deep too.
 


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