Online forums and individual perception

dobielvr said:
You have to remember, that there are a few people on this board dealing w/physical pain. And, in my world, people dealing w/pain have a tendency to lash out. I don't see it as anything personal.

But, being a person that does deal w/pain on occasion, I pick up on that.
If, I'm having a really bad day, I'll usually just hide out till I'm feeling better.
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What a kind, caring post. Insightful too.
 

VaughanJB said:
But nothing, just nothing, can replace a hug, a hand-shake, a kiss on the cheek, a smile. That's real. We mustn't lose sight of the fact that online is a netherworld. Virtually nothing you do or say here will have any impact on your real world life. If you really want to know the person - arrange to meet them in person.
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If I still had my car, there are a number of people here in my tri-state area I would have asked to meet. I had met people from previous forums and loved the experience!
 
Pepper said:
If I still had my car, there are a number of people here in my tri-state area I would have asked to meet. I had met people from previous forums and loved the experience!
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Well, perhaps you could try to arrange it. They can only say no. Perhaps they could meet up in your area?

The thing is, I think it would be a very different experience. I don't live near anyone on the board, and I'm pretty sure I don't need to disappoint anyone. :D
 

Paco Dennis said:
But, people have feelings for the wiggles. One has to learn how to react to organized wiggles.
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Sometimes I get tired and annoyed at the organized wiggles. These organized wiggles know exactly what buttons to push and push them. Lately I was asked to intervene but from now on I’d rather just ignore.

Apparently lots of drama 🎭 SELLS! I was told it brings in more members and more members means more money. Even WAR and CHURCH are money makers.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
Sometimes I get tired and annoyed at the organized wiggles. These organized wiggles know exactly what buttons to push and push them. Lately I was asked to intervene but from now on I’d rather just ignore.

Apparently lots of drama 🎭 SELLS! I was told it brings in more members and more members means more money. Even WAR and CHURCH are money makers.
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Drama, especially negative drama, increases clicks. It's well known, and well understood. Negativity sells. People get more emotional, and therefore post more, if they feel aggrieved. Social Media benefits from this. After all, clicks are everything.
 
The written word can be misinterpreted, and sometimes people read into what's not actually been said, so there are miscommunications and misunderstandings. The thing to keep in mind when you post about anything is to expect incoming comments from those who might agree and some who might not. Be kind and try to be understanding and accepting of another person's viewpoint, although it might be different from your own. You never know what someone else is struggling with or dealing with. However, when someone seems unreasonable, argumentative, angry, or nuts, it just makes more sense to walk away than to waste your time and energy engaging in a battle.
 
I do agree that tensions are up across the country in general and when you look at the issues we are facing I’m not surprised. I’m happy to live in a place where there aren’t (so far) big political demonstrations making life harder. I’m sure I would feel more tension if that was going on.

There are various ways to avoid problems online.

I join particular interest groups on Facebook and only stay if they have good moderation that weeds out troublemakers. I may be wrong but it seems to me that when the focus is narrow the discussion stays positive better.

I belong to a number of forums, some do better than others but the key is clear rules and good moderators. A couple of the more civil places don’t limit the topics you can talk about, or have a long list of rules, but do make it clear that name calling and personal insults will get you suspended for a first offense and booted if it happens a second time.
On some forums staff have 2 accounts, one personal for discussion and one official for answering questions and enforcing rules.

As far as forum members coming back to cause trouble there are ways administrators can identify them.

Sometimes blogs are good places to comment and are really well run too.

There are lots of ways to have online communication with others. It’s a matter of finding what works for you and having choices.

And sometimes I don’t re-visit a thread to see responses. 😁

Have a good day! 😊
 
Myrtle said:
I do agree that tensions are up across the country in general and when you look at the issues we are facing I’m not surprised.
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Huh. I'm hugely disappointed. I think the angst you describe is manufactured. I think the division is designed. I think the problems are exaggerated and exploited for personal gain. I'm so sad to see how things are right now. People have been manipulated into anger and angst, and it's the opposite of what we really need.
 
VaughanJB said:
Drama, especially negative drama, increases clicks. It's well known, and well understood. Negativity sells. People get more emotional, and therefore post more, if they feel aggrieved. Social Media benefits from this. After all, clicks are everything.
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This is what I’m told by the owners of these sites. They know how it works. I’m sticking to talking about things I’m grateful for. I was under the impression that membership was everything but sadly this isn’t the case.
Yes clicks are everything. It’s the ugly side of humanity; exposed.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
This is what I’m told by the owners of these sites. They know how it works. I’m sticking to talking about things I’m grateful for. I was under the impression that membership was everything but sadly this isn’t the case.
Yes clicks are everything. It’s the ugly side of humanity; exposed.
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Ohhhhh - that's interesting. Is it humanity, or just business? It's humanity in that it plays into a need in all of us for approval, to be liked and to feel part of the whole. It's business because actually it's about ad-revenue. These sites have been DESIGNED with the knowledge of our instinctual actions. They have taken studies of what attracts us, and holds us as a species, and coded it into their interfaces. I blame them.
 
Back in the late 80s or early 90s--anyway, before social media--a gal who'd been teaching elementary school for years told me that she had noticed a recent increase in the anger of the children. She said that previously, sometimes kids would get into an argument or maybe even a shoving match, but that recently she had noticed children reacting with absolute rage to the slightest things.

So it wasn't the introduction of social media because that was before. What I think it was is that she had taught for years in a wealthy school district and had just recently been teaching in a poor district, kids coming to school dirty, hungry, etc. She told me about a young student who was living with an adult he was in no way related to: the kid's biological mom took off, the kid's dad moved in another gal, then dad takes off and leaves the kid with his ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend moves in another guy and then takes off leaving the kid with that guy. These poor kids; no wonder they're sometimes full of rage.
 
VaughanJB said:
Huh. I'm hugely disappointed. I think the angst you describe is manufactured. I think the division is designed. I think the problems are exaggerated and exploited for personal gain. I'm so sad to see how things are right now. People have been manipulated into anger and angst, and it's the opposite of what we really need.
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I’m talking about the US. I’m sure there are people here who think all is well too and there are others who see changes.

Perhaps tensions are not up in your country. You are in a better position to know if all is well there.
 
Isn't a lot of that urbanization?

Countries who have industrialized and then urbanized much later but more rapidly seem to have these issues to an even higher degree.

One of my sons spends a lot of time in China for work. He tells some really hair-raising stories about what goes on down at street level. Stuff we never hear about in the media.
 
Myrtle said:
I’m talking about the US. I’m sure there are people here who think all is well too and there are others who see changes.

Perhaps tensions are not up in your country. You are in a better position to know if all is well there.
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Goodness me, things aren't good here. We're being held hostage by a government almost no-one supports. They've done nothing they promised, and we are no longer part of Europe. Madness. We should have an election, but the government keep posturing to ensure they have the best chance possible.

Dislike of immigrants is at an all time high. Prejudice is becoming accepted. Extreme right-wing rhetoric has entered the mainstream. It's no different here.
 
Most of my life I tended to be rather insouciant, devil may care attitudes, etc. But, of late, when I perceive in my own mind that there is a nasty attack against someone on here, I become, Mother Superior and give one and all hell. I have no right to do so and know it, but the older I get, the more I forget that. I have to police my reactions more and just let the world continue as is.
 
Lewkat said:
Most of my life I tended to be rather insouciant, devil may care attitudes, etc. But, of late, when I perceive in my own mind that there is a nasty attack against someone on here, I become, Mother Superior and give one and all hell. I have no right to do so and know it, but the older I get, the more I forget that. I have to police my reactions more and just let the world continue as is.
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I do the same thing. For months I was sticking to safe topics. Then a friend gets me involved in an uproar and I fly like a bat out of hell into a politically filled argument. It’s not the me I want to be. I’m not doing well with policing my actions lately and it really worries me. My faith waffles
 
PeppermintPatty said:
Sometimes I get tired and annoyed at the organized wiggles. These organized wiggles know exactly what buttons to push and push them. Lately I was asked to intervene but from now on I’d rather just ignore.

Apparently lots of drama 🎭 SELLS! I was told it brings in more members and more members means more money. Even WAR and CHURCH are money makers.
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What are wiggles?
 

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