Outliving Family Members Is So Depressing

I visited my father shortly before he died, then some years later I was present in the room when I lost my mother. Almost 5 years after that, I was holding my wife's hand when she left. So I'm sadly familiar with the faces of death. They each needed someone in their last hours, and I believe it was meant to be for me to be there for them.

Those are hard memories, but I'm glad to know they didn't go through their last hours alone. I think it will be different when it's my turn. It's doubtful a family member will be present, but I'm okay with that; I'm ready but not anxious to go, and I know I can do it alone. Aside from my many mistakes when I was younger, it's been a good ride.
 
My family's generation above me are all gone now. Other than a couple of very early deaths, my siblings, cousins and the generation below me are all alive and (reportedly) well. Same with DH's family. Ditto our friends.

Reading through this thread reminds me how fortunate we've been. I'm so sorry for those who've dealt with heartbreaking losses.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
I visited my father shortly before he died, then some years later I was present in the room when I lost my mother. Almost 5 years after that, I was holding my wife's hand when she left. So I'm sadly familiar with the faces of death. They each needed someone in their last hours, and I believe it was meant to be for me to be there for them. Those are hard memories, but I'm glad to know they didn't go through their last hours alone.
Click to expand...
Oh God (no disrespect), Mack.
MACKTEXAS said:
I think it will be different when it's my turn. It's doubtful a family member will be present, but I'm okay with that; I'm ready but not anxious to go, and I know I can do it alone. Aside from my many mistakes when I was younger, it's been a good ride.
Click to expand...
Don't worry, Mack. Just let me know when it's time and I'll get there as soon as I can. Why shoot, I'll arrive with the pony express if necessary. :) :) :) 🐴
 
From parents and grandparents generation of 8 persons, one uncle remains. Of my generation of 9, 6 are still alive. In the following generation all still there, 2 nieces, 1 nephew, and 2 grandsons. Three of those are in health trouble. I'd already be gone too were it not for modern medical science.

How much older people feel negatively about their own future death depends on a few factors. Those with better health, better fitness, a moral ethical and moral life, more interesting and valued activities, with enough finances to reasonably live so, married with still alive partners, with important goals still in their future, will have greater reasons to want to continue to live versus those not so.

Losing my father, mother, and sister made me very very sad. Not feelings I want to ever "get over" about as they are worth it. As a Christian, I hope to experience them again in eternal life though have only faith, no certainties, nor expectations of what an afterlife is supposed to be like.

If races of essentially immortal if not physically destroyed powerful ancient intelligent technological entities exist in this universe with billions of galaxies each with billions of stars and trillions of planets, they would have enormous reasons if such is possible to develop ways of eliminating death of otherwise mortal organic life entities they love.

Such mortal life entities that value their life as noted above, would value the gift of worthwhile eternal life for themselves and those they loved and feared may be lost, more than about anything else imaginable and have the greatest imaginable appreciation for that which gave them that existence. And that appreciation and adoration would not depend on whether such entities had magic like OOO god powers or only limited by physical laws powerful entity powers. So yeah, this person doesn't need an OOO level god just an loving entity that can provide worthwhile eternal life.

I qualified that with worthwhile as one would not want to exist in negative ways even short periods say in physical pain, much less eternity nor even if comfortable in some boring, limited existence. I feel this was Jesus's purpose for human mankind as a carrot in order to reject evil and embrace goodness.

Almost all humans in this modern science and technological era have no imaginable science understanding how otherwise certain mortal organic death might be avoided other than conjuring up some science illogical godlike entity with magic like, actions without forces, powers. I am unique given my science understanding of neuroscience and what mind is, in realizing although our physical bodies must die just as Jesus related, our electromagnetic brain wave fields if provided with an adequate container could exist forever.
 
Last edited:
David777 said:
From parents and grandparents generation of 8 persons, one uncle remains. Of my generation of 9, 6 are still alive. In the following generation all still there, 2 nieces, 1 nephew, and 2 grandsons. Three of those are in health trouble. I'd already be gone too were it not for modern medical science.

How much older people feel negatively about their own future death depends on a few factors. Those with better health, better fitness, a moral ethical and moral life, more interesting and valued activities, with enough finances to reasonably live so, married with still alive partners, with important goals still in their future, will have greater reasons to want to continue to live versus those not so.

Losing my father, mother, and sister made me very very sad. Not feelings I want to ever "get over" about as they are worth it. As a Christian, I hope to experience them again in eternal life though have only faith, no certainties, nor expectations of what an afterlife is supposed to be like.

If races of essentially immortal if not physically destroyed powerful ancient intelligent technological entities exist in this universe with billions of galaxies each with billions of stars and trillions of planets, they would have enormous reasons if such is possible to develop ways of eliminating death of otherwise mortal organic life entities they love.

Such mortal life entities that value their life as noted above, would value the gift of worthwhile eternal life for themselves and those they loved and feared may be lost, more than about anything else imaginable and have the greatest imaginable appreciation for that which gave them that existence. And that appreciation and adoration would not depend on whether such entities had magic like OOO god powers or only limited by physical laws powerful entity powers. So yeah, this person doesn't need an OOO level god just an loving entity that can provide worthwhile eternal life.

I qualified that with worthwhile as one would not want to exist in negative ways even short periods say in physical pain, much less eternity nor even if comfortable in some boring, limited existence. I feel this was Jesus's purpose for human mankind as a carrot in order to reject evil and embrace goodness.

Almost all humans in this modern science and technological era have no imaginable science understanding how otherwise certain mortal organic death might be avoided other than conjuring up some science illogical godlike entity with magic like, actions without forces, powers. I am unique given my science understanding of neuroscience and what mind is, in realizing although our physical bodies must die just as Jesus related, our electromagnetic brain wave fields if provided with an adequate container could exist forever.
Click to expand...
I don't want to live forever and lately I've been looking forward to it ending. Not by my own hand but by other forces. Last year I was on an air plane that got into very severe turbulence, A few passenger were moaning and screaming. I just closed my eyes and thought, "OK, I'm ready now." If the meaning of life is to experience as much of it as possible and not make life difficult for others then I think I've already succeeded. It must be soon time for me to go lie down with my favourite pillow and call it quits. Outliving family members (and friends) is almost too depressing now.
 
Inept said:
I don't want to live forever and lately I've been looking forward to it ending. Not by my own hand but by other forces. Last year I was on an air plane that got into very severe turbulence, A few passenger were moaning and screaming. I just closed my eyes and thought, "OK, I'm ready now." If the meaning of life is to experience as much of it as possible and not make life difficult for others then I think I've already succeeded. It must be soon time for me to go lie down with my favourite pillow and call it quits. Outliving family members (and friends) is almost too depressing now.
Click to expand...
I can't let my mind go there or it those thoughts would become overwhelming. This may be easier said than done, but try to make the most of what is today, even if we would rather have different circumstances. I've known a few who still had multiple family members to look after them in the end, but even that didn't always go so well. Even a nurse being present, if she's caring, might be more consoling than some family members.
 
One great thing about being a senior with means in this modern technology and infrastructure era is there are vast amounts of the natural world of planet Earth with its life and tremendous and wonderful physical assets. Assets to satisfy a person forever if they have at least spent a fair amount of their adult lives experiencing and studying it. Prime reasons to want to live long into one's senior years regardless of other social reasons.

Making a deep connection as a long time landscape and nature photographer, seeking visual aesthetics, I have seen many wonders none in past human ages, none of my ancestors, could ever even dream of doing. As an 8-5 m-f working person for decades one could sit at home watching TV while doing chores and opening the fridge. In my case, on days and time off, I went outside and lived the adventure that I can strongly state I wish I could continue having fun and excitement doing so forever.

Even as someone employed in the tech world. So unlike some urban person limited to human cultural activities that may not be as appealing socially at age 70 versus age 30, nature is always there for we Earth monkeys that now for the first time even ordinary peons like this person could drive his vehicles much of anywhere within a dozen hours in local regions.

Others play the nature game globally. Some others are intensely focused on science and technology they would never grow old of, like opening up the secrets of matter and the universe. For those human's that have developed the right kind of hungry mind at Maslov's level 5, by time they reach senior age, they may have no reason for it all to end. But even those that have only ever been urban world oriented, there are plenty of activities and hobbies that could satisfy almost everyone as long as one is physically healthy enough, but that requires doing more than just thinking about whatever while drinking a beer.
 
I've outlived my younger bro' by 20 odd yrs now - that has never stopped being depressing. My younger sister and I are now fighting for last on the finishing line! Lost touch with most cousins and there were plenty and all grandp/ aunts & uncles gone - just two kids of mine to carry on. It does get lonely but I think we seem to grow a thicker skin??
 
smiley said:
I've outlived my younger bro' by 20 odd yrs now - that has never stopped being depressing. My younger sister and I are now fighting for last on the finishing line! Lost touch with most cousins and there were plenty and all grandp/ aunts & uncles gone - just two kids of mine to carry on. It does get lonely but I think we seem to grow a thicker skin??
Click to expand...
My year older sister & I were never close--till a couple of years ago when we started to communicate through letters. She is so nice in her letters, opposite of the many years past when she was so verbally hurtful. Sharing our life with eachother is so enjoyable now. But now I worry that because she has recently turned 90, and has a few physical problems, she may die before me. Maybe, since I'm 89. :unsure:
 
there's no easy 'salves' to apply for that as you already know - going together would be a nice option? but magicians would be needed?
 
I am just beginning my journey down this road. Both of my parents outlived all of their siblings and they weren't the youngest.
 
It's kind of complicated, my dad was a married before he met my mom, so I had a much older step brother & sister. They were over ten years older and didn't live with me. So in a sense, I'm the eldest kid in my family-my kid brother is 10 years younger than me. That was OK when I was growing up, but now the first born is the first to pass away. My kid brother, who is also my heir, gets to watch all of us go before he does.
 

Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top