Pardon me...I need to Vent

Don M.

Don M.

SF VIP
Location
central Missouri
I've been friend with a bachelor neighbor since we moved to the country 15 years ago. His nearest relatives are hundreds of miles away....I never figured out why he moved so far from them. He has had every Bad Habit a person could have...heavy smoker, heavy beer drinker, little or no exercise, 350 lbs., etc., etc. A few years ago, he had to have a pacemaker installed, so I got in the habit of visiting him regularly to help out, etc. Then, 3 years ago, at Christmas, we were in the city for a few days with the kids. When we came back, I went over to check on him, and he had had a stroke, and been laying around helpless for 3 or 4 days. I got an ambulance and called his relatives. When he recovered, he refused to leave his house...and I have watched his condition go slowly downhill ever since....lung cancer, etc.

In recent months, he has had a home health care service coming by to monitor him, and keep him fed, etc. His life has been the length of his oxygen tube....still refusing to seek full time care. Finally, about 10 days ago, the lady from the home care service called, and asked if I could help get him to the care center in town. I called another neighbor, and between the 3 of us, we managed to hoist him into my truck and get him to town. His Sister and Brother in Law drove down a couple of days ago, and his Brother came in yesterday.

I visited him yesterday morning and he was just lying in bed, semi conscious...just the oxygen pump keeping him going....and his relatives fearing the worst. About 3PM, his Sister called, and said he had passed.

Bottom Line....PLEASE, take care of yourselves. If you have any bad habits, work on resolving them. After watching old Marv go downhill for so long, I can think of no worse thing than suffering severe health issues for so long. I pray that when my time comes, it is in the form of a major heart attack and over within seconds.
 

This is sad. You were certainly a good, caring neighbor who went above and beyond to help the man, Don. Just laying there for several days after having a stroke - how awful.

Yes, he did have many bad habits and apparently did nothing to get his weight under control. That made it very hard for people trying to care for and transport him.

People living alone and not having much contact with others should also keep an "Emergency" (IN BIG BOLD LETTERS) envelope somewhere clearly visible with names and phone numbers of who to contact - relatives, friends, doctor(s) & list of medications, and also attorney. Also instructions on what to do about any pets. Anything can happen, and tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us.

Curious - what was his age?
 

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How very sad. You were such a good & caring neighbor Don. Could he have suffered from depression and that is why he developed bad habits and then could not rise above them?
 
That's a shame, Don. Some people just don't want to be helped, even though they know that they need it. My F-I-L died of lung cancer. It's not a very good way to go.
 
911 said:
That's a shame, Don. Some people just don't want to be helped, even though they know that they need it. My F-I-L died of lung cancer. It's not a very good way to go.
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No,it is not. My daughter lost her wonderful MIL to it several years ago. Wasn`t a person who knew her that didn`t love her to pieces,including me. Died at age 60,waaay too young. It was ugly and painful. Such a waste of a beautiful life. RIP Sue.
 
Well first Kudos to you for your kind efforts.

But, keep one thing in mind, whether or not we agree with how a person lives their life, it is after all their life to live. I firmly believe we have every right to live happy, so long as we live within the law. Overindulgence in food, drink & smoke....can of course kill. But if that is what a person enjoys?, they are adult and know the warnings...it is their choice to make.

I hope to live till the end of a 'useful' age...then die in my sleep....yes i know that's a tall order...but it is my hope. In the meantime , I enjoy moderate drink, eat what I should not sometimes, and 'howl at the moon' if the mood hits me.....:rolleyes:

You ARE a good neighbor but...try not to stress yourself over your neighbors choices.........jmo.
 
Damn! Talk about going above and beyond. There should be a stronger word for someone like you than 'neighbor'. I consider it amazing if my neighbor says 'Hi' when we meet!

Like others have said though, to each his own. Your neighbor made some bad choices but was lucky to have a friend like you.
 
rgp said:
Well first Kudos to you for your kind efforts.

But, keep one thing in mind, whether or not we agree with how a person lives their life, it is after all their life to live. I firmly believe we have every right to live happy, so long as we live within the law. Overindulgence in food, drink & smoke....can of course kill. But if that is what a person enjoys?, they are adult and know the warnings...it is their choice to make.

I hope to live till the end of a 'useful' age...then die in my sleep....yes i know that's a tall order...but it is my hope. In the meantime , I enjoy moderate drink, eat what I should not sometimes, and 'howl at the moon' if the mood hits me.....:rolleyes:

You ARE a good neighbor but...try not to stress yourself over your neighbors choices.........jmo.
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Agree.
 
You are a good person Don. The world needs more people like you. I've known several like your neighbor, my dad for one. They know what they are doing and that is their choice. Each one has to live their own life. It does hurt to see people we love or care about going through a living hell. One of my dear nephews right now is 50 and looks older than his 74 year old dad and it just breaks my heart.
 
I would like to say "Thanks" to those who have responded to my post. It does leave a "void" in a person's life when a friend or relative passes. I don't think I did anything special...rather I think that we all need to be more aware of those around us, and help them when a need arises. We live in a very rural area, and all the neighbors are quite friendly, and look out for each other....a welcome change from when we lived in the city.

I just want to Stress the point that as we age, we need to do everything we can to take better care of ourselves. Aging is, by itself, enough of a challenge without doing things that make it worse.
 

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