Paying board to your parents

R

Rose65

Well-known Member
Location
United Kingdom
As soon as I had my first job, it was automatically expected in our house that I would pay my way, as did everyone. I gave my mother a sum per month as agreed, I was proud to contribute.

I liked having a passbook and taking my cash each month to the building society too. It was amazing how the balance grew, modest though it was, over several years, because I had the saving habit. It came in very handy when I got married. I miss passbook accounts because you knew where you were. Of course to draw any out, you had to give 3 months notice. Interest rates were wonderful!

Do you remember doing this and do young people still living in the parental home still do this - pay board I mean?
 

I never got the option of giving my parents money from my wages..I was told I had to hand over my wage packet unopened.. I was given nothing back except bus fares to work. Woe betide me if I opened that wage packet ...

One day a week I would walk to work or back from work.. ( 6 miles ) .. so that I had enough money to buy a pack of Jacobs crackers, and a pack of Dairylee Cheese triangles.. which I would make last me a whole week for my lunches
 

Last edited:
Like Hollydolly my dad took my wages when I was young and doing farm work for neighbors, I was probably 15 when I started keeping my pay. Then he died right after I graduated highschool, mom never worked or learned to drive so I instantly became the wage earner, spent the next three years paying most of the household bills.
 
Yes & I attribute that early lesson in life to how we've been able to retire comfortably. My mother never worked but she did handle the family finances. There was never your money my money only one pot to pay for needs. Wants were only if there was extra.

What my brothers & I made went into that pot. That same kind of one pot financial setup was normal for me to carry into my marriage. 63 years later in marriage & 35 years in retirement that one pot still exists.

Some lessons don't come from a book but thru life experiences.
 
JustDave said:
I didn't know anyone who was personally in that situation, but it makes sense to me if the boarder is out of school and working full time. Turning over the money from your paper route, is a bit much though.
Click to expand...
You won't be suprised then to learn that from age 12 to 14,..I would get up at 4am to work a Milk delivery round in all weathers... before school... my father was the milkman.. he paid me nothing.. he paid my brother a small wage.. ... at the end of the week, we got tips from the customers, I was only allowed a tiny share of them..
 
Knight said:
Yes & I attribute that early lesson in life to how we've been able to retire comfortably. My mother never worked but she did handle the family finances. There was never your money my money only one pot to pay for needs. Wants were only if there was extra.

What my brothers & I made went into that pot. That same kind of one pot financial setup was normal for me to carry into my marriage. 63 years later in marriage & 35 years in retirement that one pot still exists.

Some lessons don't come from a book but thru life experiences.
Click to expand...
Yes, our one pot started before we even got married.
 
My parents were very abusive to me so I left home as soon as I legally could ( age 16 )and got a job at a pet shop which I liked . I stayed in school and kept my grades up.(,except for Math) It felt good leaving home and supporting myself. I thrived on my own and found myself a handsome boyfriend.
 
Last edited:
My mother and stepfather allowed me to continue living at home when I first started working without paying room and board.

The only rules were that I had to help with household chores, save my money, and once I decided to leave I would not be able to return.

Their generosity enabled me to save enough money to buy a new car and put a hefty down payment on a small home.

I think that my parents were sad and a bit fearful when I finally left, it was the first time that they had been alone together.

Today, I would probably charge a young person room and board. If they saved and worked towards their future I would return it to them when they left, a sort forced savings program.
 
Since I wanted freedom, I couldn’t get out fast enough. No money was asked for; they would have preferred that I just lived with them forever, or at least around the corner with a husband.

After having had to put everything into one pot with the ex, I learned that was a mistake. He controlled it and regularly put us in overdraft.
 
I worked summers while I was in high school. The money I earned was mine to keep, but my parents no longer paid for anything beyond m room and board. Once I graduated, I went to college and the only spending money I had, I earned in the summer and doing part time jobs while going to college. Once I was done with college, I was on my own, which was fine for me. I was lucky to have the support I had from my parents who both worked full time jobs until they both retired at 65.
 
Since I flew under the radar and never caused them any trouble, any money I made after school was mine.

When I enlisted after high school, I wrote home telling them I could send them an 'Allotment' according to my Drill Instructor.
Dad, (who was in the Navy at the time) wrote back that it wasn't necessary, he knew it was my attempt at humor.

So, for a lot of years, I got free room and board on someone else's Dime...
 
I took a night shift job after school. (4 to midnight), then come home and sleep a bit and get up for school. As soon as I got a paycheck, my father took all of it and would give me 5 dollars back.
So, there was no wonder that when I graduated at 17, I left home. It was only many years later that the wife convinced me that our children shouldn't be denied seeing their grand parents, so, my relation with dad thawed a little.
 
I was hurt when I was coming up the stairs to our apartment one day and heard my father say to my mother "she's got to pay rent" (or words to that affect). I wasn't hurt because I had to pay, I was hurt because of the way he said it. I was planning to give my parents money as soon as I got my first paycheck anyway and like you Rose, it made me feel proud to be able to do it. I found out decades later that I was probably paying more than my fare share (rent wise), but not if you consider grocery bills.

I had passbook savings too. In fact, we had banking in schools for a while. Did you have that? In retrospect, passbooks were a hassle, especially if you ran out of space and had to get a new one. Also, of course it meant you had to go to the bank. These days, one does not have to physically go to a bank unless to get to a safe deposit box or withdraw cash. I know some people add cash to their accounts using ATM machines, but I never trusted that, so never did it. Like you, I've been a saver since I was 25. It became so ingrained in me that I felt weird if I was not saving something each paycheck.
 
hollydolly said:
I never got the option of giving my parents money from my wages..I was told I had to hand over my wage packet unopened.. I was given nothing back except bus fares to work. Woe betide me if I opened that wage packet ...

One day a week I would walk to work or back from work.. ( 6 miles ) .. so that I had enough money to buy a pack of Jacobs crackers, and a pack of Dairylee Cheese triangles.. which I would make last me a whole week for my lunches
Click to expand...
Just appalling and unfair. You were treated as a slave.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I was hurt when I was coming up the stairs to our apartment one day and heard my father say to my mother "she's got to pay rent" (or words to that affect). I wasn't hurt because I had to pay, I was hurt because of the way he said it. I was planning to give my parents money as soon as I got my first paycheck anyway and like you Rose, it made me feel proud to be able to do it. I found out decades later that I was probably paying more than my fare share (rent wise), but not if you consider grocery bills.

I had passbook savings too. In fact, we had banking in schools for a while. Did you have that? In retrospect, passbooks were a hassle, especially if you ran out of space and had to get a new one. Also, of course it meant you had to go to the bank. These days, one does not have to physically go to a bank unless to get to a safe deposit box or withdraw cash. I know some people add cash to their accounts using ATM machines, but I never trusted that, so never did it. Like you, I've been a saver since I was 25. It became so ingrained in me that I felt weird if I was not saving something each paycheck.
Click to expand...
I didn't know there was any banking at schools.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top