Paying board to your parents

We were poor. I handed over my paycheck. It wasn't much, I cleared probably less than $50 a week, but it went towards the family.

I'm the oldest, and that's what you did, you know?

Even after I joined the Army, I sent nearly every penny home.


*EDIT* Funny thing is, just this past Saturday, my daughter and her girlfriend were visiting, and my daughter said she wanted to give me some money pay me back for all the money I spent on her growing up playing softball.

She said she was thinking about it, and I must've spent thousands upon thousands on cleats, bats, catcher's gear, hotel rooms, plane tickets, etc throughout the years, and now she was fairly well off in her career, she wanted to give some back.

I just hugged her and told her what I got from watching her play for those 13 years was worth more than any dollar amount.

She hugged me back and said "I don't care, I'm bring you some money."

LOL. What a snot nosed brat I rasied.
 

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Jules said:
Since I wanted freedom, I couldn’t get out fast enough. No money was asked for; they would have preferred that I just lived with them forever, or at least around the corner with a husband.

After having had to put everything into one pot with the ex, I learned that was a mistake. He controlled it and regularly put us in overdraft.
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My mother always told me "Never let a man know what you got". Kinda funny though, because she and my father bought bonds, though in separate names. I think they might have had a joint account together too. But neither of them were spendthrifts...just hard working people who provided a nice, stable home for me.
 
Never paid board. In fact, when I was 21 I would come home drunk after a night out at the bars and "worship at the porcelain altar". (Understand that my high school years were spent in a Southern Baptist high school so I went wild after I graduated.) My sweet father would always come to the bathroom door and ask if I was okay. One day he approached me and said he would help me get an apartment if I would move out because I was disrupting their sleep. The rest is history.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
My mother always told me "Never let a man know what you got". Kinda funny though, because she and my father bought bonds, though in separate names. I think they might have had a joint account together too. But neither of them were spendthrifts...just hard working people who provided a nice, stable home for me.
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Never let anyone know everything you’ve got, we all need and deserve a little stash of attitude money to provide a little peace of mind.
 
When my eldest sister got her first job, she always handed her paycheck to my mother who gave her pocket money for the bus, and she took her lunch from home. When I started work, I was so excited to get my first paycheck I decided I would give my mother 1/3 of my money and the rest I had to pay for my bus fare, train fare and put a deposit on an article of clothing and buy my lunch. I never had any change to open a bank account for a few years. But I had my independence.
 
Would those who are parents here say that paying board is the right thing - did your children pay you if they lived at home?
I don't agree with anyone handing over their whole pay to parents, just a mutually agreed reasonable sum.

Mine did, as I needed help with weekly groceries and main bills.. Just reasonable contribution to the household and to teach them some responsibility.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
My mother always told me "Never let a man know what you got". Kinda funny though, because she and my father bought bonds, though in separate names. I think they might have had a joint account together too. But neither of them were spendthrifts...just hard working people who provided a nice, stable home for me.
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Mine had a squirrel account. So did I for the longest time. There may still be money in certain books:) In my days in banking I stressed the need for a bit of needle money whenever trophy wives or about to bes ran errands for commercial accounts. One called me years later to thank me.
 
At not quite 20 I made it to a 2 year internship at Messerschmitt. An hour on public transport. My folks got me a 2 room, full bath, kitchenette, basement close to work, paid rent/utilities/phone. Friday was classroom in town so I went home to pick up a car for the weekend and did laundry Sunday evening before someone drove me home.
 
Rose65 said:
Would those who are parents here say that paying board is the right thing - did your children pay you if they lived at home?
I don't agree with anyone handing over their whole pay to parents, just a mutually agreed reasonable sum.

Mine did, as I needed help with weekly groceries and main bills.. Just reasonable contribution to the household and to teach them some responsibility.
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I think my daughter had been working for about 3 years before I asked her to contribute.. there was only my salary coming into the house for the 2 of us .... she was very annoyed, but she paid , but from then on she saved for her own house....
 
My parents weren't exactly wealthy, but we were certainly very comfortable financially. They didn't need their kids' money.


hollydolly said:
I never got the option of giving my parents money from my wages..I was told I had to hand over my wage packet unopened.. I was given nothing back except bus fares to work. Woe betide me if I opened that wage packet ...
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My maternal great grandparents did this with my GM, which she highly resented. When my mom went to work, GM refused to take any of it. My mom did the same with her children, and we've all done the same with ours.

My siblings and I all started formal work at 16, though we girls babysat from about 13 and my brother worked at a nursery starting around the same age. From the time I was a very young child - like 5 or 6 years old - any money I had was mine to pretty much do with what I chose. One sister was a spendthrift and forever out of money, but changed her ways by her late teens. We all grew up to be excellent money managers.

I valued independence and bought my own car when I hit driving age. I'd watched my father get p.o.ed and yank back the keys to the car he bought my brother (give me the keys to "MY" car) and wanted no part of that. Later he did the same with the car he bought my sister. He never said anything about my keys. It was clear: my money, my car.

From age 16, I paid for my clothing, shoes, car bills, car insurance, and gasoline.
My kids paid for their cars, half their car insurance, entertainment, and minutes beyond the basic plans for their cellphones. Like DH and me, they got part-time jobs at 16.

I bounced in and out of my parents' house from ages 18-20 before leaving for good. My kids all stayed until they hit about 23, and were more than welcome to remain.

All are solvent.
 
Bretrick said:
I do remember my first paycheck was $127 for 2 weeks work in 1977 of which $30 went to board
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My first pay cheque (actually it was cash in a brown wage packet)...
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was a measly £4. 10 shillings for a 40 hour week in 1970... as an office junior...

It was terrible wages ..office workers back then got paid much less than factory workers... financially I would have been better off working in a factory, ( well my father would have been) and he tried to get me to work there... it would have been £7 a week.. almost double,, but factory work wasn't for me
 
we lived in a small english village Ma and Pa both worked hard I imagine but we didn't live an exotic life. As the eldest i was the last to leave - I think still hangin onto the past. My sister had gone taken up nurse training - brother too I believe that left me in a quiet peaceful and boring lifestyle. I had cheered my best mate off to further fields [he asked me to go too] but that relationship had of course changed. Eventually all mates had gone and so nearly goin mad I did too. My father told me ma cried every night for three months
 
When I lived at home and was in high school I moved lawns and detailed cars for a living. During that time, cars didn't have a clear coat and they faded badly. My father started getting his business associates to lend their cars to me and for $50 a pop I would make them look like new again. I had quite the business going until my mother put an end to it due to the dirty towels and the amount of water used. She was always a buzzkill. I got a real job at Sears as a result.
 
smiley said:
we lived in a small english village Ma and Pa both worked hard I imagine but we didn't live an exotic life. As the eldest i was the last to leave - I think still hangin onto the past. My sister had gone taken up nurse training - brother too I believe that left me in a quiet peaceful and boring lifestyle. I had cheered my best mate off to further fields [he asked me to go too] but that relationship had of course changed. Eventually all mates had gone and so nearly goin mad I did too. My father told me ma cried every night for three months
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give me one more go at it - this time I'll get it right!!
 
Not only left home, left the country
Anti war work so frustrating I moved to Europe for a few years. My parents never needed my money. I was barely home anyway. Would crash at friends. My sister I remember gave them money when she worked. My mother saved it for her and gave it all back. I was not my sister. Was full time college student majoring in SDS, organising protests, etc.
When I came back from Europe got own apartment in East Village. My father used to give me money without my asking because he could afford it and he loved me and wanted me to enjoy my crazy life.
Since they enjoyed staying at my apartment I guess they were paying ME room and board.
 

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