People living alone do you get visitors ?

VaughanJB said:
I don't go out very much these days. I have a neighbor I enjoy talking to, and every now and then I'll knock on his door and we'll have a coffee and chat - mostly about music (he's a drummer). But I don't have people visit me. Having cut myself off from work, it's clear that lives move on (as it should be).
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yes I understand in our older age now that things can be different in that regard, we no longer have workmates, or other people we had things in common with.. other parents.. etc... but as I've said this lady has lived there since she was in her 30's....no-one came to her house even 31 years ago...
 

You really have to put yourself out there to make friends. I am an introvert and am not bothered by not seeing people in person (probably because I have friends online). But when I moved here I forced myself to go to the activities the people here had downstairs in the community room. I was new and wanted to get to know everyone else better. It is important to have people you can turn to for information or assistance. So yes, I have friends come here or I have gone to their apartments. There are a few people who live here who probably have never had anyone visit them but that is the way they want it. Over thirty years is a long time.
 
Only ever bring others into my hide-out I can trust. As someone in Counterculture, during the 70s came to understand within that mix, there are always a few numbers of poor desperate others, I could not trust. Thus am not one to host social events that for this person is better experienced elsewhere.
 

hollydolly said:
Marci that's so sad... especially as you are not a hermit..

She. had a simialr tale to tell.. she said she'd been fostered as a child, but the foster mother didn't really like her and left her alone all the time.. so she never knew how to make friends... and feels that she's been alone all her life .

She's a friendly woman goes out once a week to a community hall and gets some company for 4 hours, but no-one ever visits her ... as she said ...''I wish I had someone who would come and visit, and we could enjoy each others' hobbies, and likes and dislikes''.. .

Unlike you of course, she doesn't work outside of her home.. and therefore spends 90 % of her time just staring into space or listening to the radio

...so sad...
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It's not sad for introverts. I am one. Introverts cherish their solitude and don't engage in superficial interactions. Socializing for introverts requires a great deal of energy and leaves the introvert ruminating for days about everything you talked about with them. It's not the inte er action they crave but the importance of what is discussed that matters.

I have 2 kids who live 30 minutes away by car. They never stop by. That's sad.

My introverted father never had any friends.

He used to sit out on the front porch on a very busy city street and occasionally somebody would walk past who knew him and would say hello.

I had only one visitor to my house since my wife died 13 years ago. It was my ex sister in law and her son, my nephew. That was nice.
 
I wonder what would make this woman decide to go on TV. Was she craving company by having the hustle and bustle of the TV crew around or wanting to make those around her feel a little guilty. Maybe she’ll get to know some nice folks out of all of this.
 
Ruthanne said:
We're all a little crackers 😂 I have found. I too am somewhat of a recluse. I definitely prefer my little dog over most people . I don't know what I will do if she goes before me. I'll be lost and very very sad .

I have to start back to my hobbies one of these days. People have just hurt me too much and let me down too. A lifetime of that makes a person jaded.
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Believe me I understand.
 
OldFeller said:
It's not sad for introverts. I am one. Introverts cherish their solitude and don't engage in superficial interactions. Socializing for introverts requires a great deal of energy and leaves the introvert ruminating for days about everything you talked about with them. It's not the inte er action they crave but the importance of what is discussed that matters.

I have 2 kids who live 30 minutes away by car. They never stop by. That's sad.

My introverted father never had any friends.

He used to sit out on the front porch on a very busy city street and occasionally somebody would walk past who knew him and would say hello.

I had only one visitor to my house since my wife died 13 years ago. It was my ex sister in law and her son, my nephew. That was nice.
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Same here. It's very draining.
 
hollydolly said:
Earlier I watched a video on youtube about cash strapped pensioners... which is something that is a national disgrace in this country...

.. but aside from the stories of financial hardship.. I was stunned when a 68 year old woman said she'd lived in her home for 31 years and in that time had only twice had visitors..

Now this woman lives in an apartment block in a busy industrial Northern English town..renowned supposedly for it's friendliness..

How sad can this be.. how tragic, that this lady has found it impossible to make friends enough for anyone to visit her ?

Does anybody know anyone like this ?
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I would like to watch the video. Do you have a link?
 
VaughanJB said:
I don't go out very much these days. I have a neighbor I enjoy talking to, and every now and then I'll knock on his door and we'll have a coffee and chat - mostly about music (he's a drummer). But I don't have people visit me. Having cut myself off from work, it's clear that lives move on (as it should be).
Click to expand...
yes I understand in our older age now that things can be different in that regard, we no longer have workmates, or other people we had things in common with.. other parents.. etc... but as I've said this lady has lived there since she was in her 30's....no-one came to her house even 31 years ago...
Jules said:
I wonder what would make this woman decide to go on TV. Was she craving company by having the hustle and bustle of the TV crew around or wanting to make those around her feel a little guilty. Maybe she’ll get to know some nice folks out of all of this.
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No...she definitely wasn't that type. The documentary was about pensioners who had so little income they couldn't heat their homes...and barely ate... I think the documentary makers found her through the old person's community that she attended once a week for free lunch.. along with other elderly people
 
MarciKS said:
I would like to watch the video. Do you have a link?
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yep..I have and the reason I haven't put it on before is because it's a video set in a Northern English town and the accents are very strong.. so you may have difficulty understanding what's being said ( I just about managed in parts)...



I'll go find it and post it
 
I never have visitors, and never have had when much younger. Not surprising. I've already been banned twice from this site for saying something wrong. So it is no surprise I've no visitors. I know I have poor social skills, and will not blame anyone or anything else for that.
 
Robb.hisself said:
I never have visitors, and never have had when much younger. Not surprising. I've already been banned twice from this site for saying something wrong. So it is no surprise I've no visitors. I know I have poor social skills, and will not blame anyone or anything else for that.
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if you got banned twice how did you get back on here?
my social skills suck sometimes. i always manage to say the wrong thing.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I'm a loner by nature. I live in the sticks. Plus, I'm in a wheelchair. I'm not beating off scads of visitors with a bat. Aside from a couple of buddies, you have to be a woodland critter to be in my yard. Lots of visitors-NO, but I know which deer had which fawn.
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I think it's far lonelier, living in a busy populated area..with no friends than it would be living alone in the sticks with animals for company
 
OldFeller said:
It's not sad for introverts. I am one. Introverts cherish their solitude and don't engage in superficial interactions. Socializing for introverts requires a great deal of energy and leaves the introvert ruminating for days about everything you talked about with them. It's not the inte er action they crave but the importance of what is discussed that matters.

I have 2 kids who live 30 minutes away by car. They never stop by. That's sad.

My introverted father never had any friends.

He used to sit out on the front porch on a very busy city street and occasionally somebody would walk past who knew him and would say hello.

I had only one visitor to my house since my wife died 13 years ago. It was my ex sister in law and her son, my nephew. That was nice.
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The woman in the Video isn't an introvert....
 
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