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hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
I've been doing a genealogy search for the last couple of days...and I've found my husband's long lost sister whom he hasn't seen or heard of in 20 years..she's suddenly appeared on FB after seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth. Amazingly I found her after searching for someone else on the Electoral roll..even tho' she's not listed..one search led to another and took me to FB and there she was, even tho' I've looked for her for years on there and she never had an FB account. Unfortunately o/h wants nothing to do with her..but he did get to see how she looks now and her grown children from the photos posted on FB

Family, friends, old workmates or classmates...are you looking for anyone, or perhaps recently found someone?
 

I went on Classmates, to see if there was a high school picture for Apple Cruncher's thread. They had the wrong yearbook....but, I received a message from a cousin I have not seen for 60 years. Gave me her email, told me she would be busy until after the 6th of July. I responded and never heard back from her. Perhaps she had second thoughts :D I never liked her anyway. Even though she was older than me, was forced to stay with her, when our parents went anywhere. Would have to sit and listen to several hours of her telling me how beautiful she was (NOT) :yawning:
 
I found two who had sadly passed away, one an old boyfriend and a good high school girlfriend. I have also found other old friends and it's interesting to see what they are up to, but I really have no wish to contact any of them.
 

It has crossed my mind , when a doctor asks, questions like any heart problems in family ? I know next to nothing about my fathers side of the family , but there again would any of them still be alive who would or could answer questions
 
I'm not looking for anyone but I enjoy reading books or seeing movies about someone who looks for and finds a lost relative. Maybe someone who was adopted and looking for their birth parents. Have any of you seen the 2013 movie starring Judi Dench called Philomena? About a lady who does looking for the adult son she was forced to give up when she was young? I enjoyed that.
 
Linda said:
I'm not looking for anyone but I enjoy reading books or seeing movies about someone who looks for and finds a lost relative. Maybe someone who was adopted and looking for their birth parents. Have any of you seen the 2013 movie starring Judi Dench called Philomena? About a lady who does looking for the adult son she was forced to give up when she was young? I enjoyed that.
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I saw that movie! It was very good.
 
Kadee46 said:
It has crossed my mind , when a doctor asks, questions like any heart problems in family ? I know next to nothing about my fathers side of the family , but there again would any of them still be alive who would or could answer questions
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Still might be worth looking tho' kadee..I know I would if I didn't know a lot of my family medical history..
 
Linda, I haven’t seen the movie Philomena, but I heard it was very good. Judi Densch is such a talented actress.

However, in some instances I can understand why someone doesn’t want to be found. For example, if a woman was impregnated via rape and gave the child up for adoption, it would be traumatic (to say the least) to have that person contact her decades later (although I can also understand the emotions which led to the child trying to find his/her birth mother).
 
For years I wanted to find a British woman I knew from a foreign country we both lived in for a short time. I did find her. But it had been almost 30 years. I was glad to know she was doing well. But it seemed it had been too long. And my life hasn't turned to anything much good and I stopped talking with her. She was going to send me some pictures. I told her not to. I didn't want to see them. Sometimes I think it can be a great thing. But for me it was too long in the past.
 
A few months ago I looked for an old boyfriend from when I was a teen. I friend requested him. He wanted to meet me right away and talked about us living together. Mind you, I had not seen him in over 40 years. I really was not interested in resuming our relationship, only wanted to be friends. That didn't work out well.
 
Annie said:
A few months ago I looked for an old boyfriend from when I was a teen. I friend requested him. He wanted to meet me right away and talked about us living together. Mind you, I had not seen him in over 40 years. I really was not interested in resuming our relationship, only wanted to be friends. That didn't work out well.
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Good grief!:rolleyes:
 
applecruncher said:
Linda, I haven’t seen the movie Philomena, but I heard it was very good. Judi Densch is such a talented actress.

However, in some instances I can understand why someone doesn’t want to be found. For example, if a woman was impregnated via rape and gave the child up for adoption, it would be traumatic (to say the least) to have that person contact her decades later (although I can also understand the emotions which led to the child trying to find his/her birth mother).
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I agree, there would be cases where a person just doesn't want to be found for whatever reason.
 
Shalimar said:
I look at the obits also John. So far I am not in them. Many secrets in my family, I have been unable to to track down some relatives, too many lies to sift through. I let it go.
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I understand about lies and family secrets Shalimar. My mom never said much about it but she did say a time or two that she hoped her dad wasn't really her dad. He died when she was 17 I think it was, and she went up to the hospital to see him before he died. She hadn't seen him in years. I think she was looking for some closure. She never said why she disliked him so much but of course, one can guess. Anyway, when her mom died (her parents were only married a few years back in the 20s) in the 70s she found a bank safety box key and she said she was hoping there would be something in there saying who her real father was. All that was in the box was a paper saying my grandma wanted to give her body to medical science and by then it was too late. My mom hadn't seen her step brothers in probably 35 or so years when she died in the 80s. They had different moms. So after she died I found the address of one of them (He lived in another state) and sent him a note telling him she had passed away. He called and as soon as I heard his voice I KNEW they shared the same father. He had the male equivalent of my mom's voice. She looked a lot like her half brothers too. Anyway, I guess she is over on the other side with her parents now and maybe they've gotten the mess of this life straightened out. I like to think that's what's happened anyway.
 
Linda that's a really sad story...:(

My mum always worshipped her 4 elder brothers..but my father was very controlling and wouldn't let her see them, and I always supposed that for the sake of peace they just let it go..they all lived in a different city to us...and they never made any effort to visit.

The last time ( and the first time in years) I saw them was at my mums funeral when I was just 18 and my siblings all younger , and my maternal grandmother (who had never had any interest in us unlike my paternal GM) surrounded by her ''boys'' (all grown men).. who were kitted out like members of Mafia came to the service and I heard one of them behind me sobbing his heart out..and I though..oooh they did care about her.

Anyway they left the funeral, they didn't speak to any of us 'kids'..., and we moved very shortly after that to another country...

Time moves on but I always felt in my heart that the maternal uncles would have wanted to have had a relationship with their sisters' kids...and so I searched for them about 10 years ago using all the facilities available to us these days...and finally found one of them, and wrote to him....I was ignored..so I got a phone number for him, and called him, and after a short conversation.. he made it fairly clear that none of them wanted anything to do with us...!! I can't say I was expecting them to be overjoyed to hear from us..but I thought they might be at least glad to know we hadn't forgotten them and how much my mum had loved them..but he was cold and disinterested...ah well ce la vie...I can't say I was really upset because I didn't know them, but I was kind of, on behalf of my mother's memory that she had put those men on a pedestal..... and just very surprised that they wouldn't even have the slightest interest .
 
How very sad for both of your mothers, Holly and Linda. Especially, that you and your siblings were ignored. I cannot imagine that occurring. Attending the funeral, yet being able to turn their backs on the young children of their deceased sister in incomprehensible.
You are amazing Holly, to have grown to be such a caring and happy woman. Despite such a hard childhood.
 
ndynt said:
How very sad for both of your mothers, Holly and Linda. Especially, that you and your siblings were ignored. I cannot imagine that occurring. Attending the funeral, yet being able to turn their backs on the young children of their deceased sister in incomprehensible.
You are amazing Holly, to have grown to be such a caring and happy woman. Despite such a hard childhood.
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Thank you Nona for the compliment, :love_heart:, ..one just has to make the best of everything..it's been a hard life in many many ways..but there are certainly people who haven't survived the situations that I have been mentally strong enough to work through, that's very sobering , and don't get me wrong, I still mourn for the lost years but what can I do but continue on... because of it and despite it all.
 
Holly, I'm sorry to hear your uncle story. Their rejection speaks of them and certainly not of you. There are often family issues in the background that we know nothing about, as we haven't been told the information. Your father may have had a reason for keeping you apart, who knows? You have let go and moved on, that is the good part.

Linda, very sad about your mother's father, but not that unusual.
 
I think we all have a habit of seeing that old love like they were not as they probably are.
 

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