Perils of living alone, with little outside . Tenant in my building died alone days ago..not discovered til today

When I worked for Metro Toronto Ambulance, a common first thing in the morning was the "sudden death " at a residence. We would go and find a cold body, with no vital signs, usually in bed. We would do the usual physical examination, pupils, heart , lungs, and find cyanosis and stiffening of the limbs. As the person was not in a public place, we would not transport them. We would contact the Coroner's office, to have one of their Doctors attend, to do a death certificate, and also have the Police attend to take a report. In a city as large as Toronto about 50 people a day die, mostly of natural causes. As my Ambulance partner and I used to joke........No body is going to get out of here alive. JimB.
 

My wife is in Virginia right now, dealing with the death/estate of a good friend who she always stayed with when working there, which is where her firm is located. She hadn't heard from him for several weeks which was unusual, so she called local police and asked for a welfare check, and they found him dead. He had been there almost three weeks. He was 75, and while he had some health issues, nothing that would seem to account for his sudden death. Police have ruled out any foul play.
 
I am a pretty active guy so I joined a group called "Friendly Neighbour, I'm Okay." We put this little sign outside our door every morning when we wake up to show that we are OK!. If there is no sign, someone knocks on the door, then there is a phone call. There are another 3 steps before the administration is called.

I do the patrol on Saturday mornings. It's a good system for folks living alone. Of course, I belong to a walking group and I'm pretty social. I see people every day and I enjoy "chewing the fat" with them. I think if you are a recluse, you could get pretty depressed and it "ain't" good for your mental health. People are important and we all need people; no matter what the pandemic "Doctor Death" tells you about staying home.

In Canada every province has a chief medical officer. When they speak, it's pretty depressing news. Here is a photo of the guy we had to listen to for the last 2.5 years. Like I said, he could be real depressing.
 

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Update. Lots of misinformation it seems. He was not deceased for two weeks.....more like two or three days before discovered. People ran with unverified info, He HAD been seen just a few days before he was found, A tragic event made worse by people running with info before verifying. When I initially posted, I had observed the events of the day he was found..EMTs arriving, police, medical examiner and all.
I stayed in the community room a while as apt manager asked us not to wander around lobby area and his floor. But several of us did go to our places as we really did not want to be there to witness them bringing him out
 
Marie5656 said:
It has been one of my fears that the same would happen to me. But I do not feel it would as I have a daily online presence. And I am seen around the building almost daily. Plus regular contact with family.
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That was one of my fears too Marie until my son moved back in. I have family that checks on me, including him , but with their busy lives, it wasn't every day. Also when my sister would call and get voicemail, she assumed I was "in the wind" or at my timeshare. I had told my son to call me at least every other day, but he didn't always keep up. My DIL use to call me regularly whenever she didn't have work, especially after COVID.

I had a first cousin (he passed last year) who was estranged from his mother through no fault of his own. I never met her because I didn't meet that part of my family until 1998 but was told by my (half) siblings and my cousin that she was a horrible woman. Still my cousin tried to reach out to her. When he couldn't reach her within a reasonable amount of time, he went to her house and found her dead in the tub. She was probably also dead for a week. I can't even imagine how horrible that was for him to see. He was strange (but lovable) and preferred to stay to himself (except going to the mosque) after his failed marriages and disappointing relationships with his children. I imagine finding his mother like that along with what he endured growing up had a lot to do with how he turned out.
 
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Since the days of Covid and the lockdown, we have had a local WhatsApp Group where we all keep in touch. It's great for asking for help whether it be recommendations for, say, a boiler repairman or because someone is ill and cannot get shopping or prescriptions. It has also brought people together so we notice more if someone is not around or has been poorly and not posted.

This might be a good idea for other communities too, especially people living alone.
 
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Same occurrence here ... three years ago, a 94 yr. old woman died in her 1st floor apt., in a building next to mine.
She hadn't been seen for a week, and there was a strong smell coming from her apt.

Fire Dept. had to be called to break down the door, as these apartments have a double bolt inside that cannot be opened with a key from the outside by anyone. Management only has key to one of the locks.

This woman had been very active for her age, and still drove her own car. She apparently was trying to get to her front door but fell short of the entrance and died there. She lived alone, and had no pets. Her 66 yr. old daughter was contacted.


I decided to get an alert system since I live alone, and still have a dog to take care of.

I signed up with: https://www.snugsafe.com .... it's a FREE service on your iPhone that makes you check in with them everyday.
If you don't reply to them when they send a message daily, they will then contact whoever you designate.

This service is perfect for me, as I don't have to buy or sign up for anything else. I've had it for 2 years now.
 
JustBonee said:
Same occurrence here ... three years ago, a 94 yr. old woman died in her 1st floor apt., in a building next to mine.
She hadn't been seen for a week, and there was a strong smell coming from her apt.

Fire Dept. had to be called to break down the door, as these apartments have a double bolt inside that cannot be opened with a key from the outside by anyone. Management only has key to one of the locks.

This woman had been very active for her age, and still drove her own car. She apparently was trying to get to her front door but fell short of the entrance and died there. She lived alone, and had no pets. Her 66 yr. old daughter was contacted.


I decided to get an alert system since I live alone, and still have a dog to take care of.

I signed up with: https://www.snugsafe.com .... it's a FREE service on your iPhone that makes you check in with them everyday.
If you don't reply to them when they send a message daily, they will then contact whoever you designate.

This service is perfect for me, as I don't have to buy or sign up for anything else. I've had it for 2 years now.
Click to expand...
This sounds great, thanks for the info. :)
 
A few years ago, there were 2 elderly widows who lived alone. Their windows were visible from my kitchen - it was suggested that they pull up their blinds or kitchen curtains in the mornings. That worked well until one of the widows had visitors who did not open the curtain. I phoned the daughter (the neighbour's contact) - the daughter was relieved that some one nearby was looking out for her "independent" mom.
 
Yes, as mentioned in another forum, SnugSafe is probably the best thing going. Here at my place we had a person pretty bad off (he should have been in a hospital) pass away, falling between the front seats.

Not seen for 2-3 days. By then, nothing but take him out.
 
These both sound like excellent ideas.

Packerjohn said:
called "Friendly Neighbour, I'm Okay." We put this little sign outside our door every morning when we wake up to show that we are OK!. If there is no sign, someone knocks on the door, then there is a phone call. There are another 3 steps before the administration is called.
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Packer, if someone puts out the sign and it stays there all day would anyone notice. They could see the sign everyday and think things are fine.

JustBonee said:
I signed up with: https://www.snugsafe.com .... it's a FREE service on your iPhone that makes you check in with them everyday.
If you don't reply to them when they send a message daily, they will then contact whoever you designate.
Click to expand...
I’m going to look into this.

Our neighbour used to watch for the blinds to open on the elderly lady across from her. We wait for the light to come on in our neighbour’s house.
 
JustBonee said:
Same occurrence here ... three years ago, a 94 yr. old woman died in her 1st floor apt., in a building next to mine.
She hadn't been seen for a week, and there was a strong smell coming from her apt.

Fire Dept. had to be called to break down the door, as these apartments have a double bolt inside that cannot be opened with a key from the outside by anyone. Management only has key to one of the locks.

This woman had been very active for her age, and still drove her own car. She apparently was trying to get to her front door but fell short of the entrance and died there. She lived alone, and had no pets. Her 66 yr. old daughter was contacted.


I decided to get an alert system since I live alone, and still have a dog to take care of.

I signed up with: https://www.snugsafe.com .... it's a FREE service on your iPhone that makes you check in with them everyday.
If you don't reply to them when they send a message daily, they will then contact whoever you designate.

This service is perfect for me, as I don't have to buy or sign up for anything else. I've had it for 2 years now.
Click to expand...
Fantastically useful post!!
 
I know it would be a good idea to sign up for either snugsafe, or in Maryland there is a similar free programs for residents over age 65

But, I'm afraid I will forget to listen for the phone, or be in the shower or on a metro train etc etc, and then not respond and cause unnecessary alarm.
 
Indiana Joe said:
That is a very legitimate fear. Can you not make an arrangement with someone you know that if you do not phone them by a certain time each day, they should either phone you, come over to check things for themselves, or call 911 for a Wellness Check performed by the police?

This is a very serious problem. i've had many mutts myself. You don't want them suffering needlessly.
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I have one son, he and his family are busy, I don't want to put anything extra on them to worry about. I am lucky that I have neighbors on both sides and across the street retired. There are only two of us living alone but we all keep an eye on each other. The widow across the street, if her kitchen blinds are not open at some time during the day, I would check and or call her family. Neighbors on both sides of me, if they do not see the dogs out (they bark) during the day. They would worry. The police have been called for a well check for me.

I was sick and in bed, I had left the back door cracked so the dogs could go in and out to potty. They called first but I did not get up to answer the phone. So they called to have the check. Of course, I did get up when the door bell rang, I could see the police car out front so I went to the door. We all had a good laugh. Hope they did not catch my flu that day!
 
I just recalled an incident that happened years ago. Mom was in decline, it's 2005. I woke up early, walked the dogs, then went to the store.

Meanwhile, mom goes into the kitchen, falls, calls cops, has to crawl to door. The fire dept, EMS and two officers were at the house when I drive up.

They had her in a chair, So apologized for not telling her that I was going shopping. We shook hands and they left.

I then made sure that we had phones in every room, on the floor. Just in case. I debated life alert, but we felt that having 6 phones was good enough.
 
But, I'm afraid I will forget to listen for the phone, or be in the shower or on a metro train etc etc, and then not respond and cause unnecessary alarm.
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With SnugSafe ... they don't call you .... . You have to look for their message daily on your phone, and then tap the button on their app to check in ... and I think they give you a leeway of a couple hours to do this.
 
We had a situation like this where I used to live. A Deputy said that when that happens flies will collect around the windows. That may depend on the climate.
 
Pepper said:
You don't know if you're lying dead in your apartment, rotting away. You're dead. Don't worry about it, that's my advice.
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True. And it can happen at any age. I was reading about SADS, sudden adult death syndrome where a young man in his 20s died suddenly and wasn't discovered till a week later. So not just an elderly thing. I also think the thought of it is worse than it actually happening because like you said, you've gone on to your next journey so you don't even know it happened. Once you die you couldn't care less about what happened to your body. :ROFLMAO:
 


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