Personality disorder (narcissistic)

[Bellbird]

WheatenLover, my heart goes out to you. You have been and are going through so much. You are so right in not believing a thing your husband says.
All the very best to you.

 

[Ladybj]

Of course there are/were circumstances that kept me there. You are assuming things and your assumption is wrong. I have not asked nor would I ask, for anyone to make my decisions for me. Reaching out for support is not asking anyone to make your decision.
As far as putting up with a narcississt for 50 years as you put it, there are varying degrees of narcississm, it can take years to totally manifest itself.
Your positive energy is welcome, but let me assure you my positive energy has got me through to this stage in my life and it will carry on that way.

I did not mean any harm. I was responding to your post which you stated you have come to the end of the road with it and it's effecting your health. I don't think I was assuming.. again, I was responding to your post which you ask for advice.

 

[IFortuna]

Narcississim traits. Has anyone else had to try and cope with this.? My husband of over 50years has this malady and I've come to the end of the road with it all. It is now affecting my health, I should have moved out a long ago.. I'm in the throes of trying to get support to get me through this. Any advice? Thank you.

I'm sorry, I don't completely understand. You say he has narcissistic traits. Could you be more specific?
He may have an ailment of some kind. Although we can't see it with naked eye, the brain goes through some changes as we
get older. A friend of mine has what are called brain plaques. It has affected his cognitive abilities. He forgets things and does show signs
of self-centeredness. He is in a lot of pain sometimes from arthritis so I think it turns his focus inward as it would anyone I suppose.

Perhaps it is time for a neuro scan for your husband. You did not mention it but he must be at least 70 so it might be a good idea to look into this.
Is he a veteran? They have some very good doctors. Maybe make an appointment with a neurologist and go from there. He may not be to blame for this change in behavior.
You are in my thoughts, the best to you.

 

[Fyrefox]

My mother was a malignant narcissist, and my father her enabler who in his ongoing attempts to pacify her only made her more extreme, demanding, and tyrannical. We all surrendered pieces of ourselves. My sister was driven into an early marriage and has had lifelong depressive issues, while I’ve suffered from generalized anxiety disorder due to having a volatile, controlling, and unpredictable mother. Ironically, she never saw herself as anything other than exemplary and perfect while everyone else was badly out of step. I’ve often wondered how different things could have been had my mother received psychotropic medication and therapy…

 

[Tabby Ann]

After I retired and had more time to spend with people, I realized I also needed to spend more time understanding the human brain. I spent way too much time trying to continue and improve a relationship with a narcissistic person who appeared to want to befriend me but after a while I realized it was all about her and never about me and I was simply an accessory or prop to help her achieve her goals. After reading several books on psychology, I began to recognize the difference between a deep rooted brain problem that I wasn’t equipped to solve and a relationship problem that might could be worked out. The sooner one learns the difference, the more peaceful your life will be.

 

[dseag2]

I did not mean any harm. I was responding to your post which you stated you have come to the end of the road with it and it's effecting your health. I don't think I was assuming.. again, I was responding to your post which you ask for advice.

@Ladybj, you were perfectly correct in your response. Bellbird asked for advice and IMO you gave a very insightful and caring response. No reason to be attacked.