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Silly Tilly

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Hello - warning long post - would love some honest feed back and advice. Recently retired except for a few days a month, I'm 75, live alone in a town home complex, been here 4 years, maybe have met 4 neighbors, it's a mixed group, most I think work, I've heard there are neighbors who might be in my age range but they either have two homes, part of the year here, and part there (where ever that might be), some are much older and don't venture out.

I have issues with walking, so use a walker during the winter, I live in the Tundra, lots of snow, ice and cold, brrrrrrr, in the summer if going short distances will use a cane. I'm lonely, just realized that, have found myself glued to the TV, or spend a lot of time reading, cruising the internet, not being very productive which was enjoyable at first but now I want to get a more active life going again.

I value the days I have left on this earth and don't want to just waste them away, so many I know have already made their exit from this world, I'm super blessed to still be here. My married friends, well they are couples, they have each other, or married friends, they are nice and I hear from them a couple of times a year, but mostly they do their own thing. I've done some volunteer work, but find the older I get, the less opportunities I'm finding, not being able to walk so well does limit my opportunities as well.

I've been thinking I should get a dog, small dog, I could walk it in the summer, in the winter months I would train it to use piddle pads I'd put in the garage.
Has anyone my age, 75, who lives alone, got a dog for companionship in the last couple of years? I've tried to adopt through rescue organizations but found out I'm "too old" to adopt a dog under 10 years of age.

It was shocking to find I'm too old to adopt a dog of 2-6 years of age, but guess they presume the dog will out live me. I worry about getting an older dog, will it have bad habits, or medical issues from the start, might be too much for me to handle starting out. I really don't want a puppy but may have to concede if I'm going to get a dog, time is moving along, been looking for over a year. I do check the local Humane Society, mostly they have dogs bigger than me, I need to be bigger than the dog so we would know who is the pack leader.

I haven't traveled since I retired, not sure if I will, if I do, I would like to travel by car but not alone across country, can't find anyone I know interested in going with. I have a lot of ideas of what I want to do, but don't seem to have much will to execute, probably because I don't have anyone to do things with, talk with, bounce ideas off of, which also seems to be a problem, any suggestions on what to do about too much loneliness?

I have 3 daughters, all are very busy raising very active teenagers, or involved heavily in their careers, so little family contact except some holidays. Don't do organized religion anymore, find its too hard to navigate some churches, and especially some parking lots in the winter months. I've been going to a gym for a year, smile at a lot of people, tried to start conversations but most people seem to come with a friend or their time is limited to other commitments.

I feel stuck, invisible, and the usual solutions to the problem of too much alone time are not working at this age?
I will say "thank you" for any and all suggestions now rather than post several replies at once, hope that meets code?
Over and Out - Silly Tilly :confused:
 

Hey, Tilly -- getting a dog is a WONDERFUL idea! Just this last year my two dogs passed away within weeks of each other and I knew I couldn't keep on without a dog. I went to the Humane Society and adopted a wonderful senior dog and I'm delighted with her. I love big dogs, and she's a pit bull or pit bull cross. We're enjoying being senior girls together!

The REALLY GOOD thing about senior dogs is they usually require less exercise than a younger dog, and the great majority of them are well settled and have great temperaments, are house trained, and are SOOO grateful to have a home to live out their senior years. Senior dogs usually bond with you very quickly. Senior dogs have a hard time getting adopted and I think it is a wonderful thing to adopt one of them. It's a great gift to give a senior doggie a home -- just like us, they need a safe and secure place to live out their senior years.

Do you have a Humane Society (different than the pound, though good dogs can be found there, too) in your area? I don't think they impose such rigid age restrictions. I purposely went to find an adult dog over 5 years because, like you, I live alone and certainly didn't want to even think about managing a rambunctious puppy. ALSO, at my humane society, I didn't even have to pay an adoption fee because we are both seniors (I'll be 70 next month). The adoption staff will help you find a good dog for you -- they do temperament testing and medical checks, etc., so you know what you are getting.

YES, adopt a senior dog! It's great to have the companionship of a dog, and it also gives you someone to take care of and a reason to be up and about. Bonnie is a couch potato in general, and she thinks I'm swell. It's nice to have a creature that thinks you hung the moon and is SO glad to see you if you've been gone a little while. She also is housetrained (I have a doggie door) and she never has accidents. She's good on the leash and loves to take walks, but doesn't have to go miles and miles; we just walk around the neighborhood when the weather is decent. She also loves to ride in the car and is a great co-pilot; she loves to go to the dog food store with me, but she does have a tendency to shoplift treats :). She has the run of the house even when I'm gone and she is just fine alone.
 
Hi Tilly, I think it is wonderful that you want a dog. I have to travel to see my kids so right now a dog is out of the question for us. I do have one concern. You want to train the dog to piddle pads, do you think it is possible to train an older dog to do this, and will he or she get confused since in the summer months you want to walk the dog and in the winter you want him to do it on the pads? Just a thought. I certainly don't want to discourage you. Nothing better than a furry friend for companionship.I would consider the piddle pads all the time. If you have a rainy day, or don't feel up to par you have no worries. I hope you have good luck finding one and will look forward to photos of your new friend.
 

Thank you on the information on owning a senior dog. I never looked at it that way, an older dog might be really happy to be adopted by an older gal who obviously has plenty of time and love to give. I some how was thinking the older the pet, the more set in it's way, (like some people I know, not me of course LOL), and be more prone to health issues. Between vet bills and dental bills one could go broke in record time, vet for the dog, dentist for me. I will reconsider adopting an older dog.

In my state and in a few others, Rescue organizations are non profit, they are not governed by the same rules as most businesses would be. In other words, most make up their own rules, the best interest of the dog is the first concern which I understand, but I do think they miss the point not realizing how much time and love an older person can give. Here in ND, most rescue places are run by people who are in their 30's and 40's, too young to appreciate some of the finer points of being on the older end of the spectrum. I was very shocked to have someone tell me out loud to my face "you're too old to have a dog under 10". In this age of politically correct speech I've never hear that spoken directly to me, no doubt people have said it under their breath or behind my back, "too old" but another learning lesson for me.
Again thank you for you reply to my post and your enthusiasm makes me know how lucky your pup is to have been adopted by such a wonderful person.
 
Wow- good point on using the piddle pads and possibly confusing a dog. I would say you're 100% correct, I never thought about that.
I love being able to post an issue, when you have no one to talk to, for me, my thinking stays in a nice little circle, when you talk out loud to another person, you get
great feedback.
Thank you so much for replying. I will be a much better pet owner with a little help from my friends :)
 
I've never been to a doggie adoption center that allows seniors to adopt young dogs. I believe that's a universal policy. If you go with an older dog and have trouble training him or her to use the piddle-pads, you may consider hiring someone to help with the training if that's possible. In my community, the cost is about $35/month for three sessions per week (2 years ago). I had a seven year old dog who learned to use a litter box! (Dog litter is available in stores. It's made of recycled newspaper pellets.) Or you might consider paying someone a reasonable fee to walk your new dog when you are unable, which may also bring a new acquaintance into your life. In my experience, older dogs who have had some training can still learn. The adoption center will give you all of the dog's history that is available.
 
Hi Tillie, although I'm younger than you, I would have a bit of a problem getting my little dog outside 3-4 times a day that is required- if my adult grandson didn't room here with me to help.

Some days there is just a lot of aches, some days it's snowy or icy and footing isn't what it used to be. Yet, the dog MUST go out 3-4 times a day! My grandson can do this at least once and often twice a day, I take the daytime hours.

My condo community does not allow fencing, so no doggie doors.

However, a dog brings so much joy and companionship and you'd be doing a wonderful thing by saving a dog! Just be certain the walks outside are going to be doable every single day.
 
If it were me I might fudge my age a bit to the rescue groups...that being said...I would definitely tell you to get a senior dog. We always adopted adults. I really feel they will always be more than grateful to you. Puppies and young dogs get adopted pretty easily. The older dogs know what it's like to spend months sleeping on a cold floor with limited food. They really appreciate it when they find a warm home. Yes some of them might have behavior stuff. My Sophie is elderly and a total basket case...but she's the most loyal basket case ever. Callie was a grown intact male at adoption and he's settled into being a big spoiled baby. I encourage you to find that senior pup who is waiting for you:D
 
When my old cat passed away my daughter found another cat for me at an adoption agency.
She told them that the cat was for a lady in her eighties and that she (my daughter) would
take the cat if necessary. The cat - my calico Callie - was supposedly about 7 years old
but when I took her to the vet we both agreed that she was nearer to 12 years old with
a kidney problem! Nevertheless while on a special diet, she is happy, content and the
love of my life.
 
Another advantage to older dogs is they are often calmer on leash. Even Sophie, chicken dog that she is has slowed down a lot as she's aged. When we first got her she could pull me down. Now over the years we walk at almost the same speed and it's much easier. You know something else I just thought of. It's not right for rescues and shelters to restrict "Older dogs" to seniors, much of the time the age of an animal is a guess.
Both of my dogs were ages unknown. Sophie was adopted about 8 years ago. Now her muzzle and even eyelashes are white...so maybe she's between 10-14 based on her graying and teeth. Callie was a young man at adoption. Maybe guessing a year or two and perfect teeth. But who really knows. My feeling is you can meet the right dog at any age who is right for you. They might be six years old and just the right energy level for you. Age isn't important really.
 
My Bonnie is thought to be around 8 now -- she was thought to be about 7-ish when I adopted her. I still think it would be a good idea to check with the Humane Society (it's a national organization -- The American Human Association or AHA) -- they have a Seniors for Seniors program, and they don't limit you to a dog over 10 -- I think the dog just has to be over 5. Also, find the website for your local AHA and most of them post pictures and descriptions of their available dogs. Many times they have history on the dog, and way too many times, people discard an older dog because they are moving and can't take the dog with them, or are having a baby and don't want to be bothered with the dog, or such nonsense and you get a sweet older housedog that is already perfectly trained. Most AHA places have a reduced fee veterinary clinic, too

Older dogs CAN definitely learn -- and pretty quick, too -- most of them seriously want to please their new person. Bonnie has learned all kinds of things. Don't discount older dogs because you're worried about problems that MIGHT appear -- that can happen with younger doggies, too.

I'm sure a sweet older doggie would be very lucky and very thrilled to find a home with you and you'd find giving an older dog a home very rewarding.
 
We used to have loads of animals when our kids were young, dogs, cats, hamsters, gerbils, rabbits, guinea pigs, birds, fish, tarantula spiders and goats. I am firmly of the opinion that whilst no one should mistreat an animal they must know their place in the pecking order, which is well below that of the human animal. As I was the person who had to care for the animals, I put my foot down when the last dog we owned died in 2002, no more animals which needed more care than I wanted to give them. I now own an easy care tarantula spider and a gerbil, which we use as a paper shredder and very useful it is too!
 
Silly Tilly, There are so many things to think about when you get a pet. Dogs are so much like human beings to me and they actually will need a lot of the same kind of care human beings need. Have you considered if you will be able to afford the food and medical attention a dog would need? And will you be able to bathe and groom a dog, etc.? I am not trying to discourage you from getting a pet...only to really think about what kind of pet might be best for you.
 
A small dog doesn't cost much at all to feed, and even with my big girl Bonnie, the cost of her care is WAY less than the value of the joy and companionship she brings me. For medical care I still use the vet I have a 30+ year relationship with. The our Humane Society here has a low cost vet clinic which my sister uses -- it is for lower income folks, older folks, etc., and they do a great job.

One thing I thought of, Tilly, that I forgot to mention before, is that when I got Bonnie I was still really bummed about about the loss of my previous dogs and wasn't sure I was quite ready to make a commitment, so they suggested I take her for a little while as a "foster-to-adopt" to see if we were a good match. So I did that, and by the second day, I was sure she had a forever home with me. The good thing about that kind of deal is that if for some reason you are NOT a good fit, you can bring the dog back without all the angst of a failed adoption, and take another doggie; and at least the first dog has had a respite from the shelter for a little while.
 
I also might tell you to consider a cat or two or even three. That way you always have someone warm and fuzzy on your lap. They can entertain each other and don't have to be walked at all. Just sift the litter box and have food and water out. Very simple care, I agree that dogs of any size are a lot more work than other creatures. I love my pups dearly but each has needs almost equal to a human child.
 
Cats are always easier for mostly indoors and can use the litter box reliably, but I know not everyone likes cats. Dogs really need daily walks regardless of season, IMO.
 
I live in a TH, I've seen some of the neighbors put their dogs on a leash attached to the front or back door, leave them out for a small amount of time depending on the weather but locked on the leash so they can't be stolen, which is probably how I would manage. You do make a good point, something more to ponder while I look.
Thank you for replying. Every little bit is helpful when making this kind of decision since it would affect me and the pooch.
 
We did have a cat that lived about 20 years. She was the kids pets, as they left home it became clear me and kitty were going to end up together, it did work out well. I do have allergies when it comes to cats, but we had this cat so long I think I became immune to them by the time the girls were gone and I was in charge. I do love cats though, so unique creatures, such drama when something is out of place, and the best cuddlers ever. Thank you for replying. Tilly
 
I agree, we had a few puppies when the kids were little, I'm over the whole puppy thing, and think the ideal home for them is with a growing family. I definitely would like to find a dog around 5 or a few years older. Thanks for the reply, so many great thoughts, I really like this site, glad I found it.
 
I agree100 percent on this. I don't know what the big deal is. I suppose the rescue people are younger and don't have a clue of how much time and love an older person has to devot to a pet in their older years. They seem to think its more acceptable for that dog or cat to go without a forever home, stay on a cement slab or in a kennel until a younger person comes along. I bet if the dog was given a choice, seniors would get first choice, the dog doesn't care what we look like, our age, they just want a nice kind person to love them so they can do what they do best, return love just because we care for them. One rescue worker told me the chances of me dying before the dog are too high to take a chance on letting me adopt - Obviously she doesn't pay much attention to modern medicine and how longevity has increased. Gads I know people living to 100 and over in really good condition. A friend lives in a nice senior complex, most of the residents are in the late 70's and 80's, most have pets and those pets are living the good life, everyone fusses over them like they were children. Guess with age comes wisdom, maybe as those rescue workers age they will start to get it. Thanks for replying.
 
Don't think that would work for me, however what a good kind person you are to figure out those animals need good homes as well, lucky for your pets. Thanks for replying to my post.
 
Makes sense to me. I think I retired the big pooper scooper before I moved to my TH. Teeny poop I still can handle. Thanks for replying. Tilly
 
I have given it a lot of thought, did the pros and cons list. I'm good. Plus once you get a pet, you love it like a kid, and with no one else around anymore, that critter will be well taken care of and spoiled rotten I'm sure. I think most women are just natural care takers all their lives, it doesn't stop once the kids are gone, we just find other ways to spread the love. Thanks for the reply. Tilly
 

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