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The Paxtors Wife
​[h=3]The Poor Pastor's Wife Returned from Shopping...[/h]The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'"

"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!"

"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too."
 
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon? " "Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic... " Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd ever heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum! " "Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words? " "Please don't make me tell you, Mum," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please! " "Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words! " ~~~Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook! "
 
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