Power of Forgiveness

[Treacle]

Should I have forgiven my father for killing my mother? All I can say is that throughout my life I attempted to build up some relationship with him (It didn't work). He has now passed on. Perhaps that was my attempt at forgiveness. Forgiveness may come more easily if the person was remorseful and/or attempted to make up for the pain they caused. My older sister was 3 1/2 and cannot forgive him. Mum was born on the 1st January!
!!?? Just some thoughts.

 

[grahamg]

If someone were to say unjustly, "you ruined the first twelve years of my life", where then is forgiveness to be sought?
By the person believing they'd had the first twelve years of their life ruined, (even though they'd asked the person concerned to " keep coming", throughout most of that time), or the person whose role in their life was so misrepresented, who isn't prone to holding a grudge in these circumstances anyway? .

I hope no one minds my posting the above again(?)
A child might say all kinds of things they dont really mean, (we all accept that dont we, as part of growing up?).
However, false representations should matter shouldn't they. Refusing to assist someone as a witness is a failure of a civic duty isn't it, (this applies in the case of the above child, now adult).
At the same time there are probably plenty of folks out there ready to ruin at least a small part of your life, (though most would perhaps be lenient enough to try not to ruin the whole thing, unless you were prepared to be complicit in letting them?).
Do we forgive all this, our ex.'s for their belligerence for example, following their own self interest to such a degree as they often seem to do.
Its hard to say isn't it. I doubt I'd feel at my ease if I ever met my ex. again, and lord knows what I might say, (how's your love life perhaps !)?