Problems With Communal Living

Called ‘Sheltered Housing’ here, it dosn’t necessarily have to be an apartment block, many offer bungalows in the grounds, especially built and designed for older people or people with disabilities

With a manager on call 24 hours a day for emergencies, Sheltered Housing offers security (especially for those who live alone) while retaining independence.

Social activities are on offer for those who are interested, a communal lounge, dining room (again, your own choice if you prefer not to cook)

I worked at one of these places for 10 years before I retired and have no qualms about moving into one when the time is right
 

Lavinia said:
For a lone woman, there is a bit more security in a complex. Having said that, it does depend on everyone being aware of the dangers of not being careful. Plus you do need to trust your fellow tenants.
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well..living cheek by jowl with a paranoid Schizophrenic doesn't sound very safe and secure....all 3 of your fellow tenants with serious mental problems.. not that they can help it but it's not something that would cause one to feel secure...

However that said.. if they all have serious issues.. why cry over spilled cream.. sorry...couldn't resist... :sneaky:
 
Trish said:
Wherever you live, you have to do your homework because nuisance neighbours can really make your life a nightmare regardless of whether you live in a flat or a house. A friend of mine lived in a detached house but her garage was attached to next door's garage and there was a gravel driveway share by both houses - that little bit of driveway caused so many problems with the neighbours that she sold up and moved just to get away from them.

I thought all flats had a caretaker or management company who took care of bins, recyling, cleaning communal areas and communal gardens?
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so true trish....its not the properties you live in....its the neighbours ...
 
Maybe take a helpful stance. Ask (in a nonblaming way) if it's their ice cream on the stairs or their garbage in the recycling. Ask how you can help. Offer to lend cleaning supplies, or ask if it would be helpful to put reminders on the bins. Offer to clean up the mess or help them sort their waste.

They might say, "Thanks, I can take care of it," and then take care of it. But of course you never know.

I lived in a city that used different bags for different kinds of waste. I knew someone who would wrap garbage in newspaper and put it in the bag with the paper. Why? So he wouldn't have to spend 25 cents on a separate bag. Some people are unbelievable.
 
Some people said to wait a year or two after the divorce before buying a condo but rents were high, interest rates low and I knew prices would rise. So we sold the house and I bought my condo immediately. I am so happy that I did.

We have 2 buildings of 75 each. We have maintenance, groundskeeping and janitorial services. I feel so much safer in a secure building than a home.
 
I know I will do as you did, @Teacher Terry. I don’t want the work of maintaining a home, even though it’s small. Things will only become more difficult as I age. I won’t wait a year; there’s nothing that holds me in this location. My biggest decision will be the city to live in.
 
Blessed said:
That is something I always think about. I am still in my own freestanding home. I have good neighbors all around. Most are retired like me. We look after one another and our property. I know at some point I might need to make a change. What I don't know is how others in an apartment complex look after each other. I did have a family member in a senior complex, they looked after one another. Are they all like that? I think I would feel so much more vulnerable in an apartment complex than my home.
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Some of these communities have a warden taking care of things. I was in one of those for a few months but it was too communal for me. Most of the residents didn't go out much and had little to occupy them, so they wanted to know everyone's business. I found it suffocating. Here, each tenant lives their own life and we have little to do with each other. I hear everyone but I don't often actually see anyone.
 
Lavinia said:
Some of these communities have a warden taking care of things. I was in one of those for a few months but it was too communal for me. Most of the residents didn't go out much and had little to occupy them, so they wanted to know everyone's business. I found it suffocating. Here, each tenant lives their own life and we have little to do with each other. I hear everyone but I don't often actually see anyone.
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Thanks for your reply. I do not want anyone up in my business but I would like to make friends with my neighbors just as I have done in my house. It would make me feel better, more safe knowing we looked out for one another. I like you would not appreciate disruptions in my everyday life but I would be willing to visit with neighbors in a common room if available.
 
hollydolly said:
well..living cheek by jowl with a paranoid Schizophrenic doesn't sound very safe and secure....all 3 of your fellow tenants with serious mental problems.. not that they can help it but it's not something that would cause one to feel secure...

However that said.. if they all have serious issues.. why cry over spilled cream.. sorry...couldn't resist... :sneaky:
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Funnily enough, my daughter works with people with problems like this....'Care in the Community'. However, she is trained and gets paid for what she does. It is becoming clear to me just what has happened here, (or what makes sense). The housing assoc. have been asked to find quiet accommodation for people with mental problems. They have been placed here because I and the previous tenant, were known to be decent, rational people. They really need to be in a hostel with a warden experienced with people like this.
 
Lavinia said:
Funnily enough, my daughter works with people with problems like this....'Care in the Community'. However, she is trained and gets paid for what she does. It is becoming clear to me just what has happened here, (or what makes sense). The housing assoc. have been asked to find quiet accommodation for people with mental problems. They have been placed here because I and the previous tenant, were known to be decent, rational people. They really need to be in a hostel with a warden experienced with people like this.
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couldn't agree more. ..
 
Regardless of what type of apartment building you live in, you always have neighbors to deal with. Sometimes it is good and sometimes not so good. Last year we went through a period with a manager and two other tenants who banded together against some of us. Made a couple of my friends' life horrible who were also going through serious health problems and did not need the stress. I made some calls and found it was elderly abuse. Not too long after my call to the office of the aging, the manager was immediately fired. Now the other two tenants have both moved out. Life is good here again.

This building is for seniors and/or disabled. Some people bond and become good friends. I have found that those friendships can become closer than family. In times of need, those friends are there for you. My building is not noisy or dirty. It is in the center of downtown and close to everything so I didn't even need a car. Judging all buildings by one is not a true assessment. Like I just said, at one time it could be a great place to live due to the manager and maintenance man and other tenants. Then another time, with different people in place it could be horrible. If you want to be alone all the time, it is your choice. If you get lonely, just knock on your friend's/neighbor's door. Some of my friends here have been here for over thirty years.
 
I know, people so close is one of the things that stopped me from buying a condo. I was afraid of what I could get for a neighbor. I agree, and I don't get people. I see this at work also. People throw trash when there is a trash can by the front and back doors. I know some things can fly out of the dumpster when it's emptied. But I have picked up plenty of garbage where I feed the feral cats. Including two small alcohol bottles. Homeless or employees? I can only guess.

It's one of the reasons I wanted the relative security of an all adult mobile park but with the way things are going, I may have to consider an all ages park.
 
Trish said:
Wherever you live, you have to do your homework because nuisance neighbours can really make your life a nightmare regardless of whether you live in a flat or a house. A friend of mine lived in a detached house but her garage was attached to next door's garage and there was a gravel driveway share by both houses - that little bit of driveway caused so many problems with the neighbours that she sold up and moved just to get away from them.

I thought all flats had a caretaker or management company who took care of bins, recyling, cleaning communal areas and communal gardens?
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Do I know this. That house I bought in 2001 was in a "desirable" neighborhood. Didn't mention I'd have neighbors putting their stereo in the backyard from 10-10 for every half baked holiday or loud surround sound TV I could hear. Or a harasser behind me. If I had been able to feel secure and keep that house, I could have paid it off by now. But I sold, I didn't feel safe. It was also in a mandatory evacuation due to a fire a couple of years ago. Didn't burn but it may some day.
 
katlupe said:
Regardless of what type of apartment building you live in, you always have neighbors to deal with. Sometimes it is good and sometimes not so good. Last year we went through a period with a manager and two other tenants who banded together against some of us. Made a couple of my friends' life horrible who were also going through serious health problems and did not need the stress. I made some calls and found it was elderly abuse. Not too long after my call to the office of the aging, the manager was immediately fired. Now the other two tenants have both moved out. Life is good here again.

This building is for seniors and/or disabled. Some people bond and become good friends. I have found that those friendships can become closer than family. In times of need, those friends are there for you. My building is not noisy or dirty. It is in the center of downtown and close to everything so I didn't even need a car. Judging all buildings by one is not a true assessment. Like I just said, at one time it could be a great place to live due to the manager and maintenance man and other tenants. Then another time, with different people in place it could be horrible. If you want to be alone all the time, it is your choice. If you get lonely, just knock on your friend's/neighbor's door. Some of my friends here have been here for over thirty years.
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That's great to hear. But what a horrible ordeal for the people who were harassed. I think elder abuse starts at age 65 if I'm correct. Perhaps someday, if I'm harassed or abused I can claim that. I sure know child abuse and the ages in between mean nothing.

I'm so glad that POS was fired!
 
We have done both flat and homes in our life. We definitely prefer living in a house. In this present community the HOA covers quite a bit including lawn care etc. It is gated and secured. The people are friendly and helpful. We definitely help each other out with shopping, doctors appointment, etc. It is quiet as well. It is a 55 plus community. I had some adjustments to make at first but now, I am not sure I would be able to move somewhere else and enjoy the same quality of life.
 
If living in a condo or apartment older complexes are more soundproof. Also don’t buy a condo that was originally an apartment because they tend to be not as well built. 26 years ago I rented a condo on a recommendation from a friend. After 3 months I knew it was very well insulated and quiet so bought one.

Fast forward 24 years and needing a condo I decided to buy one by the same builder that was built in the late 70’s. There were only 5 complexes and this one is just as quiet. Despite having 75 condos in my building I rarely hear anything.
 


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