Problems With Communal Living

L

Lavinia

Well-known Member
I am currently living in a complex of just 4 flats and I honestly think I'm the only one who is sane. I take responsibility for the rubbish and re-cycling bins, because I took over from a previous tenant and no-one else has volunteered. No problem in itself but some folks don't seem to understand the concept of re-cycling.

A bin marked 'paper and cardboard' would appear to be self-explanatory so why does the old dear below me put all sorts of waste in there? I then have the task of dealing with it. I know she has a lot on her plate right now, so I'm trying not to shout at her about it, but it's so frustrating!

The building has fire doors and security doors but people keep leaving them open.

I've just gone to check on my post and someone has spilled a carton of cream on the stairs and just left the mess for someone else to clean up. I've compromised by putting newspaper on it to soak it up. I'll wait to see whether the culprit finishes the job.
Rant over.
 
Lavinia said:
I am currently living in a complex of just 4 flats and I honestly think I'm the only one who is sane. I take responsibility for the rubbish and re-cycling bins, because I took over from a previous tenant and no-one else has volunteered. No problem in itself but some folks don't seem to understand the concept of re-cycling. A bin marked 'paper and cardboard' would appear to be self-explanatory so why does the old dear below me put all sorts of waste in there? I then have the task of dealing with it. I know she has a lot on her plate right now, so I'm trying not to shout at her about it, but it's so frustrating!
The building has fire doors and security doors but people keep leaving them open.
I've just gone to check on my post and someone has spilled a carton of cream on the stairs and just left the mess for someone else to clean up. I've compromised by putting newspaper on it to soak it up. I'll wait to see whether the culprit finishes the job.
Rant over.
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Is it possible some of the residents may have cognitive impairment?
 
These issues always arise when multiple people are involved. Just the nature of the beast. The worst is they are perfectly happy letting you assume the responsibility! Itā€™s a hard one to deal with especially if your nature is to be considerate/responsible.
 
This is what's putting me off moving to a flat..

I've considered it back and forth, wondering if it would make my life easier as I get older to move into a flat.. and situations like this, and others with regard to noise etc.. just makes me think I'd be making my life less comfortable and not More..
 
hollydolly said:
This is what's putting me off moving to a flat..

I've considered it back and forth, wondering if it would make my life easier as I get older to move into a flat.. and situations like this, and others with regard to noise etc.. just makes me think I'd be making my life less comfortable and not More..
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Please wait before making life altering decisions. I learned the hard way after my husband died to take it slow. I took it fast, it made it all worse.

Please take your time.
 
Pepper said:
Please wait before making life altering decisions. I learned the hard way after my husband died to take it slow. I took it fast, it made it all worse.

Please take your time.
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I understand Pepper, and I take your point ... šŸ¤— however I've been thinking of moving to another area...really anxious to do this tbh.. .. and if I do it will be my last move and I have to decide whether I'll move to a house or a flat... . As I age the gardens and maintenance of this house is going to be beyond me.. currently I'm trying to deal with a Leaking Barn.. and it's concerning me greatly because I literally have thousands of pounds of equipment in there which is likely to get badly damaged when the Big Thaw comes tomorrow... and as I age things will get harder to deal with..
 
I don't think that that style of living would appeal to me, I like to walk around my place in the nude, farting as I move about, singing (of a fashion) at the top of my voice, then stopping to gorge on ice cream.
I do all of those things in the winter too, but then I leave my clothes on. šŸ˜Š
 
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oh no....i could never live in a flat surrounded by dirty lazy people
its bad enough thinking about noise coming from the side and top.....

ive always lived in detached properties but i wouldnt mind a ground floor garden flat....
because. there would be an outside wall, then a stairwell wall...so you would only have to worry about the ceiling
my friend lives in a 4 flat house, and they take it in turns to clean the stairs, bins etc etc
 
timoc said:
I don't think that that style of living would appeal to me, I like to walk around my place in the nude, farting as I move about, singing (of a fashion) at the top of my voice, then stopping to gorge on ice cream.
I do all of those things in the winter but then I leave my clothes on. šŸ˜Š
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LOL LOL OH you little Hussey Timoc LOL
 
Pepper said:
Please wait before making life altering decisions. I learned the hard way after my husband died to take it slow. I took it fast, it made it all worse.

Please take your time.
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Ditto! No need to hurry into a decision. It took me years to accept the decision I'd made in a hurry. I might still have come here but spent a lot of time second-guessing myself and being unhappy and uncomfortable.
 
I sold my house almost 20 yrs ago and came to an apartment. It was not a bad decision at all for me. I really thought this would be my last move, and I am very happy here.

I am moving again soon to northeast Pennsylvania to be close to my son and his family. The apartment there is actually the same layout as I have here, but with an additional bedroom and bathroom for guests. Hopefully, this will be my last move.

I'm not understanding how tenants in an apartment (or flat) are responsible for cleaning the common areas and trash management. Can someone explain that?
 
Raddragn said:
I've always tended to be an independent loner and do not think I would do well in a communal setting. Fortunately I have my own paid off home and have family living with me who do many of the upkeep chores. It works well for all of us.
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Not meaning to be rude... but isn't that kind of contradictory to say you've always been an independent loner.. but that you have family living with you.. Isn't that communal living ?
 
Packerjohn said:
Hey! Maybe living alone, like I do, isn't as bad as I thought it is? Sorry for your troubles. You folks better call a meeting and have a serious discussion regarding the various problems.
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Lavinia also lives alone.... that's what's annoying for her, that she lives in a 4 apartment block.. and she's the only one who seems to care about the upkeep and appearance of the communal areas..
 
Unfortunately, meetings don't always work. People lie, minimize problems, and insult one another's mental health.

Maybe one-on-one conversations would be better? Appealing to each individual's better nature, reminding them that you all care about the building, and you're looking after the garbage for free, etc.

I don't really have an answer. I lived in a guesthouse/hostel, which was mostly fine. Until it wasn't. That's why I moved to the back of beyond and rented my own apartment. My neighbors are all angels, thank goodness.

Only one problem, which was also (coincidentally?) garbage related. A homeowner neighbor had permission to use the building's dumpster. In the fall she was filling it up with tree branches from pruning, bulky waste from renovations, etc. There wasn't room for the tenants' garbage, and the lid wouldn't close. I wrote to the building manager, and she simply denied that the neighbor was doing this. "She hardly uses it. It must be unauthorized outsiders."

Sometimes you just can't win. I'm sorry this is happening to you!
 
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hollydolly said:
They, to, are independent, though a bit more gregarious than INot meaning to be rude... but isn't that kind of contradictory to say you've always been an independent loner.. but that you have family living with you.. Isn't that communal living ?
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To some that may be true; however, it is my house and I have the last word - if I want it!. One can be both a loner - and - independent,- and still, at least, tolerate the presence of other people - especially if they are family you love and who have most of the same ethos They, too, are independent, though a bit more gregarious than I. Like everything else those two characteristics are not static - they are variable in degree. As for independence, that actually is not specific to the presence of other people. To me, it means thinking for myself - not relying on others to do it for me and, even at 86, I'm thankfully able to still do so.
 
Wherever you live, you have to do your homework because nuisance neighbours can really make your life a nightmare regardless of whether you live in a flat or a house. A friend of mine lived in a detached house but her garage was attached to next door's garage and there was a gravel driveway share by both houses - that little bit of driveway caused so many problems with the neighbours that she sold up and moved just to get away from them.

I thought all flats had a caretaker or management company who took care of bins, recyling, cleaning communal areas and communal gardens?
 
Shalimar said:
Is it possible some of the residents may have cognitive impairment?
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Yes, I think the woman downstairs is a bit mentally challenged, and I know she has health and family problems. The young man below is paranoid schizophrenic and the other man has emotional problems. As I said, I'm the only one who is sane!
 
Gary O' said:

Problems With Communal Living​


I can in no way live in an apartment
I'm like a caged lion
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For a lone woman, there is a bit more security in a complex. Having said that, it does depend on everyone being aware of the dangers of not being careful. Plus you do need to trust your fellow tenants.
 
Lavinia said:
For a lone woman, there is a bit more security in a complex. Having said that, it does depend on everyone being aware of the dangers of not being careful. Plus you do need to trust your fellow tenants.
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That is something I always think about. I am still in my own freestanding home. I have good neighbors all around. Most are retired like me. We look after one another and our property. I know at some point I might need to make a change. What I don't know is how others in an apartment complex look after each other. I did have a family member in a senior complex, they looked after one another. Are they all like that? I think I would feel so much more vulnerable in an apartment complex than my home.
 
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