Pulling the Plug

[fuzzybuddy]

Pain is a factor for me. And I guess it's financial. Is it really necessary to spend thousands to live a few weeks longer? I don't want to go. But what is better, to spend thousands to help someone much younger to have a better quality of life, or to spend the same amount on me to exist a few weeks more?

 

[Bobw235]

That was so much kinder a way that your wife and her sister handled that sad situation. I'm so glad for their father that they did that.

One thing that I've learned from your words here is that our end of life instructions should be handy by the door (as we age) so that in the event we wind up in a crisis situation, our wishes are available to all who will be involved in our 'care'. Making a mental note that having mine stuck in a box in the back of my closet is NOT the place for those directives.

In one respect, it was outrageous that the DNR wasn't given to the EMTs who transported him to the hospital the night he fell, because it was right there on the refrigerator, mere feet from where he fell. My father-in-law was conscious and talking when they came to get him. He did everything right, but the health aid working that night was not his regular person and may not have known that the DNR was there in plain sight.

On the other hand, at the time, no one would have thought that this fall would result in my dying from complications. At least this way we all got to say our goodbyes and be with him in his final hours and comfort him.

To your point about making your wishes known, yes that's a wise thing to do. We have our info on file with our primary care physicians and have told our son and other loved ones of our wishes. Our documents are in a binder that's clearly labeled and easy to spot.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

My living will states that I do not want to be kept alive by artificial means. I do not want to be hooked up to a bunch of machines, including a feeding tube. The hospitals around here advise pulling the plug anyway if you are considered brain dead for more than two or three days. They did it with my uncle. I believe its because some insurances don't want to pay for it.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

Hospice did not adequately control my niece's pain, nor her agitation, nor her terror. She died in a hospital hospice and it was one of the worst nights of my life. She died screaming and thrashing and painfully struggling for breath. We were begging the nurses for more meds, but they said she'd had all she could have. Hell, she was dying, what difference could it make, except to mercifully shorten her death throes.

Besides which, you have to be under hospice care. My mother just wanted to live her life, with adequate pain meds and other supportive drugs. She was pretty much able to do so, but she couldn't do that now -- they'd be too worried she'd become addicted or sell her drugs on the street, both of which are stupid. As someone said above, death does indeed cure addiction, and a woman in pain certainly does not sell her drugs.

Sorry if I seem angry, nothing against you or where you work, but I am still very angry about how my niece was treated, and I'm angry about how the FDA puts people who are really suffering through all their "addiction" rubbish. I'd slash my throat before I went through what she went through.

I understand why you are angry about what happened to your niece. That must have been so terrible for you. My grandmother had pancreatic cancer and she was under hospice care for maybe three weeks before she died. I took off from work so I could stay with her as much as possible. I don't remember her being anywhere near the state your niece was in. It was painful enough watching her die as she laid there quietly. I just can't imagine what you went through!! Their main concern under the circumstances should have been to make sure your niece was comfortable at all times. May she Rest In Peace.