Question: Is respect earned or given?

I believe that individuals need to earn my respect, but respect for the roles people play in our lives, and various institutions, symbols, traditions, etc… should be freely given.

As examples, I believe we all should respect the flag, our parents, the police, teachers, the POTUS, etc..

I’m not suggesting that we have to like, agree with, or approve of the people in those positions only that we show respect for the position they occupy.

IMO a lack of respect for those things says more about us than it does about the people in those positions.
 

oldman said:
I don’t know if you want to call it respect, but I think I am polite to everyone I meet. As a pilot and especially the Captain, it was important to be polite to the passengers. There were some classes of people that were respected just because of what their position was in society. During the wars in the mid-East and Afghanistan, if I was aware of any service men or women onboard, I would make an announcement that went something like this. “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s our pleasure today that we have 3 members of the military onboard. After landing, please show respect by remaining seated until these 3 people have deplaned. United Airlines appreciates your respect and understanding. Thank you.” Something to that effect. I thought it was the right thing to do and United always commended our flight crew for showing our military respect. For everyone else, I was very polite.
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Had that done for me, made me proud of the crew.
 
In my humble opinion, respect is both earned and given. In other words, I respect people, and that's a given. When I have a relationship with family and friends, however, sometimes these relationships are taken for granted by both sides. We experience the good and the bad, and maybe anger might get in the way, and we might feel bad about them after an argument. Yet I always communicate to resolve issues so that respect for my family and friends continues, and I expect the same civil treatment from them. If I cannot respect someone (for certain reasons) or they have shown no respect for me, I avoid them or avoid interacting with them to maintain peace. Does that make sense?

Here is the definition of respect:

transitive verb​

  1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem or admire.
  2. To avoid interfering with or intruding upon.
  3. To avoid violating.
 

I think we are kidding ourselves if we think that we always delay judgment of everyone and that respect is our default position. Roberts Burns poem 'A Man's a Man for A' That' reminds me that we often sum people up by their eternals and don't see what is inside. He asks (and answers) the question "Is there an honest poverty?"

I think we are inclined to give automatic respect to rank and privilege and require the poor to earn it.

BBC - Robert Burns - A Man's a Man for A' That
 

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