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In honor of Mother's Day:
Napoleon's mother: "Get your hand out of your jacket, young man. I'm not paying for school pictures where you look like a monkey scratching your fleas!"
Einstein's mother: "You think you're so smart? When are you going to learn to tie your shoes?"
Michelangelo's mother: "It wasn't bad enough you had to paint on the walls? But no! Now you're painting on the ceiling, too?"
Moses' mother: "After I got all wet pulling your basket out of those bullrushes, you think you're going off to wander around in the desert looking for the promised land? Not a chance, you're staying right here in Egypt where you belong!"
Noah's mother: "You just march those dirty creatures right back out of the ark! I'm not having fleas in here."
Cleopatra's mother: "Don't play with that snake!"
George Washington's mother: "You want to throw silver dollars away, do you? Well, you can just forget getting your allowance next week!"
Joan of Arc's mother: "Can't you just stay home and act like a lady?"
Picasso's mother: "You call that a painting? You can't even get the faces right!"
Frida Kahlo's mother: "Honey, you'd look so much better if you plucked your eyebrows."
Van Gogh's mother: "Stop running with that knife! You'll cut your ear off!"
Isaac Newton's mother: "I certainly hope you're going to wash that apple before you eat it. It just fell off the tree!"
Marie Antoinette's mother: "No, you certain MAY NOT eat cake instead of that perfectly-good bread I put in front of you."
Elvis Presley's mother: "Can't you just stand there and sing like a proper person? You look like you have ants in your pants."
Jesus' mother: "Thirty years old and you're still living here. Can't you find a nice Jewish girl to marry and move into your own house?"
Christopher Columbus' mother: "All over the world you travel and couldn't you send your poor mother at least a nice post card from a few of those places?"
Napoleon's mother: "Get your hand out of your jacket, young man. I'm not paying for school pictures where you look like a monkey scratching your fleas!"
Einstein's mother: "You think you're so smart? When are you going to learn to tie your shoes?"
Michelangelo's mother: "It wasn't bad enough you had to paint on the walls? But no! Now you're painting on the ceiling, too?"
Moses' mother: "After I got all wet pulling your basket out of those bullrushes, you think you're going off to wander around in the desert looking for the promised land? Not a chance, you're staying right here in Egypt where you belong!"
Noah's mother: "You just march those dirty creatures right back out of the ark! I'm not having fleas in here."
Cleopatra's mother: "Don't play with that snake!"
George Washington's mother: "You want to throw silver dollars away, do you? Well, you can just forget getting your allowance next week!"
Joan of Arc's mother: "Can't you just stay home and act like a lady?"
Picasso's mother: "You call that a painting? You can't even get the faces right!"
Frida Kahlo's mother: "Honey, you'd look so much better if you plucked your eyebrows."
Van Gogh's mother: "Stop running with that knife! You'll cut your ear off!"
Isaac Newton's mother: "I certainly hope you're going to wash that apple before you eat it. It just fell off the tree!"
Marie Antoinette's mother: "No, you certain MAY NOT eat cake instead of that perfectly-good bread I put in front of you."
Elvis Presley's mother: "Can't you just stand there and sing like a proper person? You look like you have ants in your pants."
Jesus' mother: "Thirty years old and you're still living here. Can't you find a nice Jewish girl to marry and move into your own house?"
Christopher Columbus' mother: "All over the world you travel and couldn't you send your poor mother at least a nice post card from a few of those places?"