Raising children today

Snow74

A Day without Laughter is a Day Wasted
Location
Canada
I am grateful that my three children were raised without the Internet..cell phones..Xboxes and all that would have kept them indoors and safely away from online bullying.My two eldest boys each had a bush bike…they knew curfews till the age of 17 ( I ruined their teen years according to them), they were not perfect,far from it,but they knew better than to disrespect their elders or teachers.We expected good grades and a respect for the rules and yes it went..because I said so..
My daughter was raised without the fear of her meeting anyone online…she was subject to the same rules as the boys,being she was a girl I worried more…I thank God they were all healthy and raised no pandemic. My children knew nothing of their father and I private business they were permitted their childhood!
 

Well, mine were raised with the internet, however, they had a 1-hour limit and could only use the computer in the loungeroom under the watchful eye of either my husband or myself.

These days my daughter's 3 children are connected to the net on nearly every device you can think of. It scares me to the point that when they are here I installed a keylogger on the laptop they use, and I have the modem configured to block most sites that I find unsafe.
 
Well, mine were raised with the internet, however, they had a 1-hour limit and could only use the computer in the loungeroom under the watchful eye of either my husband or myself.

These days my daughter's 3 children are connected to the net on nearly every device you can think of. It scares me to the point that when they are here I installed a keylogger on the laptop they use, and I have the modem configured to block most sites that I find unsafe.

We.had an Atari from time my boys were about 8 but homework had to be done, there was a limit (longer on non school days) and i did not tell them that video games, especially the old space invaders and pacman type were considered therapeutic for hand-eye motor co-ordination issues they'd been diagnosed with.

Personal Computers came along during their last yrs in HS, but we did not have one till later on. My daughter, 8 yrs younger, learned to use PCs in school, Including searching for info. We had one in house from time she was about 12 but until she was 18 only one, in living room where i could monitor her, and i knew how to check history.

If your grandchildren don't have own handheld devices they can connect to internet with, what you're doing to protect them a good idea. My grandson, now 13 Diagnosed as Neuro Atypical at age 2, has a phone he can connect to internet with but from what i saw when he was here last June he uses it to watch mostly science an history type You Tube videos and search engines to find answers to questions they raise in his mind. He share's the family tendency to think about 'what if' type things.
 

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My kids played outdoors a good bit until they learned to read, then like me they read more than anything else. We often talked about what they were reading. In teens the boys favored Stephen King while i was readingn more Dean R. Koontz, but they could do very apt comparison/contrast reviews of the two authors.

We watched TV and movies together and talked about accuracy of info in them, how realistic plot points were, when it's ok to just suspend disbelief and enjoy the story, and moral issues raised. Daughter is 8 years younger than boys so her exposure to some types of media lagged behind theirs.

Amusingly when the mini-series of King "IT" first aired Owen (older than Seth by 9 minutes and more concerned/responsive to their sister from time she was born) approached me earnestly to state his opinion she should not be allowed to watch as it would be too 'intense' for her.

They learned basic manners because i modeled them by using even with them, but i also empowered all three kids to set boundaries about bodily contact. The most basic rule in our house after treating others as you wishedto be treated was that the more responsibility you took for yourself and your things the more control you got over things like bedtime and food intake tho i moderated amount of 'snack foods' in house.

While Owen turned out more politically conservative than the other two they are all decent human beings with good ethics and compassion. Unsurprisingly Owen is a great Dad, and it does take more patience and effort with a neuro-atypical child. But then its become obvious over the decades that my boys were also 'on the spectrum' tho they never lost verbality as my grandson did for several years, and that was very much main clue to check for it when they were young. Seth did 20 yrs in Navy. My daughter manages local motel in our small town.

Life is about change, growth and each generation has new challenges but teaching kids basic values, how to evaluate info and make decisions they can live will never be obsolete, tho at times it seems that fewer parents are doing so. If you look for it, there is evidence that there are at least as many responsible, caring human beings in younger generations as in older ones.
 
It was not too long ago when our daughters were kids as they are 25 and 23 years old now and the 23 year old still lives at home at least til the Summer. So we did raise them in these times and I have to say that these two kiddos where pretty easy to raise. They were good kids and they still are great kids. My husband and I never had issues with them when they went out. We told them they had to be back home at a certain time and they were home. If they were somehow going to be late they would call and tell us why they were going to be late. We knew they were not the type of kids that were going to get into trouble which put our minds at ease. Sure my husband a little more than me worried about all the boy stuff and dating they went through and I think that he worried more because my daughters would talk to me more about that sort of stuff and not to him so I was more in the know about all of that then him. I knew what they were up to. I think the thing that scared me the most was when they started driving and they would be out. There were many times I couldn't sleep until they walked in the door. The times my husband and I would just have to pick them up from friends houses I felt much better. A lot of people also say that kids now don't play outside enough and that is true. This was not the case for my daughters. My daughters like myself and my husband are very active outdoorsy people. My oldest loved soccer and my youngest basketball. They were outside with some sort of ball it seemed everyday.
 
I just don't think every kid, who uses the internet is going to grow up to be a serial killer/rapist. It's too easy to blame "outside forces". We aren't preparing kids for life in the year 1922. They are going to live their lives in the 21st century. It's is easy to say, and hard to do, but parents must use love and guidance to prepare children for the lives, and times they will live.
 


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