Random Thoughts

L

Lon

Well-known Member
Location
Central California
It's only 7PM on a Friday evening and I have just returned to my apartment from having a nice Japanese dinner by my self since no one else was available. I spend a considerable amount of time by myself since moving back to Fresno. This seems to be the norm for single males and females in their 70's & 80's that are mobile and self sufficient. Grand children view us as they get older as an oddity that shows up at birthdays bestowing gifts but don't communicate otherwise. Our children love us but are busy with their young grandchildren and other parts of their lives. What friends we have that are of similar age experience the same thing.

I will, as soon as I send this email off, I will go down to the pool for a swim and spa. I will no doubt be the only one there and spend 1 1/2 hours or so entertaining my self, then back to the apartment to watch a Netflix doco or continue with my new book that is a follow up to "To Kill A Mockingbird". No great plans for tomorrow and will no doubt spend most of the day doing what ever by myself. This is not a bitch or complaint, just thoughts that are going through my mind from time to time.
 

That's one of the reasons we go out dancing or we would ever see anyone to talk to
The town where we live has about 4.000 people ..has one seniors centre that's open one day a week for bingo ..Boring ...
 
There's a big difference between loneliness and solitude. You need solitude to do certain things -- read, do anything creative. I find its nice to have company and it's also nice to be alone, but not too much of either. I'm a person who needs my space.
 
I agree with you somewhat, Lon, but it is a generalization of course…and a choice. I've been a bit of a loner myself by choice (other than lots of family activity) and I have been perfectly happy...but I recently decided, due to my retirement transition in April, to reach out and make some friends, including the SF gang. I've found friendships not only have to be cultivated and nurtured but one has to be consistent about it. It's a commitment that one has to desire also. You have to be ready to let go of some quietude…which is just as precious as friends. A balance of those two things are like a ballet

At this time in our lives, we might be ready for some peace and quiet aka inactivity, and that somewhat comes with no friendships (because some friends are a bit high maintenance). It's just that, statistics show that it's healthier to have a friend or two and we'll live longer. Plus its good for us to selflessly reach outside ourselves. It's actually our purpose in life to help others, love others, and be around others. The keyword is, balance.
 
I agree as well. I love having time to myself. My very first trip out of the US was a solo trip. Many asked me how I could possibly have a good time traveling alone, but it was one of my best trips. The only time I would have liked company was at dinner time in a restaurant. But now I'd even be fine with that.
 
Now I'm the opposite. I'm a "people person". I would rather be around people than to be by myself most of the time. There are times I want to do something alone but most of the time, I enjoy being around people even if it's just watching them. For example, I wouldn't mind going out to eat alone and just watch people. That is interesting sometimes because you see all kinds from a lot of different places. Plus, I will talk to anyone that doesn't mind talking to me and that makes it even more interesting.
 

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