Reflections of My Life

The one thing I have missed the most (after my cats & horses, of course) about my move here is my garden. I had 11 raised beds and half of them were made of rocks. I remind myself that last year there I didn't do very well out there. I still harvested enough to can jars of food (which I left for my husband and my son who was still there). I didn't bring any with me because I knew I would be cutting out the carbs as soon as I got out of there. Working outside in the hot summer had really got to me. I had to keep coming in and soaking my feet in cold water.

Now when I think back, I realize all these things I was slowly giving up was for the better. At that time I did not know I would actually be able to leave. I was depressed but tried to act normal just to get along in the life I thought I had to live. Now every day I thank God for hearing my prayers (though it took a long time!).

People think living in low income housing or subsidized housing means you live in a ghetto building. Not here! Each apartment is different. Unique since it is an old school. High ceilings, 3 levels of ceilings, huge windows, a kitchen for a cook, larger bathrooms set up for disabled, etc. It is good to have a maintenance man on site that if something breaks it can be fixed immediately if needed. I am not comparing it to the pricey retirement communities because it is not like those at all. But it suits me perfectly. I have very low rent and without a car my expenses are quite low.
 

We had a small thunderstorm this afternoon. I unplugged everything and colored to past the time. It was done just in time for me to cook my supper. Sonny only lives 25 miles away from me but his storm was much worse. It always is. I had rain but he had pouring rain for quite awhile. Now the kitchen is clean, the coffee for tomorrow is set up, I have Rabbit's bedtime treats on my walker and I am ready to call it a night.

I try not to follow a set routine, but I do anyway. Rabbit listens to what I am doing in the kitchen and he will be in his cage, then suddenly when he feels I am done in there he is out waiting for me. Critters are so smart!
 
Happy May Day!

I remember when I was a child, maybe in 2nd grade or so, the son of one of my father's friends brought me a May Day basket. They had to drive about 40 miles to our house to give it to me. I felt honored! It had flowers, a flower pin, and candy in it. That was the only one I ever got until I married my 2nd husband. He would buy flowers for me every May Day.
 

It has been a kind of quiet day here. A new lady moved in on my floor today. So now all the apartments on my floor are all rented. There are two empty ones upstairs yet. I am sure they will be rented soon. Tomorrow there will be lots of activity going on. The food bank truck will be delivering the food boxes in the morning.

It is not even seven yet and I am looking forward to going to bed. I put the air conditioner on to cool off the apartment a bit before I go to bed. I turn it off then because I don't like it blowing on me.

Friday, Jeff will have lived here a month! Went fast.
 
I have been going through my files and piles of paper all week. When I sit here instead of coloring I am going through this stuff. Yesterday I had to go through my father's file. All those papers are in the past. He died in 2012 and I was his executor so I had a big file of papers. I weeded out things I did not want to get rid of. But most of the papers were not needed anymore. Not that any of them are anymore but I kept them anyway.

This morning Sonny is coming to take me to do my errands. I still need to get a money order at the post office for Jeff's rent. I will get him an email address from my computer so I can pay his online next month. I figure I have to log out of google and then register a google account for him. After that I can set up gmail for him. Sounds easy........doesn't mean it will be. I normally never log out of google so I will make sure to have my login information written down next to me.

Yesterday was the day the food bank brought food to our building. Everyone gets two boxes and you have to sign up for it in advance. I don't get it because it is not the kind of food I eat. Jeff signed up for it and I knew he would not care for it. He didn't but said he will use what he can. The produce box always has cabbage, apples, onions, potatoes and winter squash (locally grown). I think he can make use of some of that if he uses it in time.

I think they are old and don't last long (especially the potatoes). The other box usually has low fat milk, vanilla yogurt, cheese and cottage cheese. He can't drink the milk (tummy issues). All from the SAD diet (standard American diet) that the government makes them use for all food pantries, schools, hospitals, prisons, etc.
 
I had a pretty good day today. Tired now so might be getting off the computer so I can put my feet up. I bought some salmon at Aldi's today and had it for my supper. I bought 2 packages so still have one left. It was really good. I am trying to include seafood in my meals. This day is always so busy, I don't have time to think about the pain. So I suppose staying busy is good for me. I think tomorrow will be busy too but not going anywhere. Just catching up with my chores.......especially laundry! I put it off again.

I don't remember if I told you that we now have a greenhouse out back. Some of the guys have started seeds and the beans are coming up already. I remember green beans were always first in my garden too. I used to can close to 70 quarts of them every year. And now, I don't even eat them.

One thing about living in an apartment (and now especially with Jeff upstairs) is that you cannot just take off your clothes when you get home. Or when you are hot. Someone might come knocking and I have to hurry to get dressed. I put my nightgown on sometimes when I think nobody will come here. This afternoon I put on shorts and a baggy t-shirt. I knew I had to go downstairs to get a package. I try to wait till at least six before putting my nightgown on. Jeff don't care, he knows me.
 
Raining this morning. I like the rain. When I lived at my house with my husband, he hated rain or snow. The whole day would be depressing because of him. Then he would decide it would be a good time to get me to go upstairs with him....and you know. I would dread the rain because of that. I had such a longing to leave him and move to Norwich (where I live now, 16 miles away) but I did not let on to him.

But I loved the rain because it would make everything neon green. My raised beds would be full of crops and they sucked up that water like crazy. Here I can't really see the green so much, unless I go stand in front of the windows. At my house sitting at my computer, I was able to see out of four different windows at the same time. All green plants, grass and the woods. A peaceful scene for sure.

It was just SO green!

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The beds on one side of the house. There were more out back.

garden2011.jpg
 
katlupe said:
Raining this morning. I like the rain. When I lived at my house with my husband, he hated rain or snow. The whole day would be depressing because of him. Then he would decide it would be a good time to get me to go upstairs with him....and you know. I would dread the rain because of that. I had such a longing to leave him and move to Norwich (where I live now, 16 miles away) but I did not let on to him.

But I loved the rain because it would make everything neon green. My raised beds would be full of crops and they sucked up that water like crazy. Here I can't really see the green so much, unless I go stand in front of the windows. At my house sitting at my computer, I was able to see out of four different windows at the same time. All green plants, grass and the woods. A peaceful scene for sure.

It was just SO green!

View attachment 344347


The beds on one side of the house. There were more out back.

View attachment 344348
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Coincidentally Kat.. I love the rain too.. but my estranged husband didn't /doesn't... and if it rains he's moaning from beginning to end ...as you say it ruined the day... .It's alright to moan occasionally. I do it myself if it rains for days .. but every time it rained.. jeez!!

it's like he'd never seen it before...

Our country is very green because of it.. they say it's the greenest country in Europe if not the the world . I once overheard someone on the plane behind me as we landed in the UK.. who said..''Wow'' look how green it is, do they manufacture Chlorophyll ?
 
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I planned on vacuuming today but didn't get to it. I did make 4 batches of Keto Chow for ice cream. I also made pork spare ribs in the Instant Pot and then finished them off in the Nuwave oven. They came out perfectly. I seasoned them and when I put them in the oven I brushed unsweetened barbecue sauce lightly on top. They came out perfect! I cut them into 3 equal pieces and vacuum packed the other two for the freezer. I actually had them for my first meal of the day. Now making burgers for supper.

Very quiet day since it was raining most of it. My neighbor came over earlier because while she was in the hospital she could not pay her phone bill and they shut it off (not like she was behind for months, maybe just one). So she had to use my phone to make some calls.

Jeff was just here. He ordered some music CDs from Amazon and coffee filters.

Now got to eat.........
 
katlupe said:
Raining this morning. I like the rain. When I lived at my house with my husband, he hated rain or snow. The whole day would be depressing because of him. Then he would decide it would be a good time to get me to go upstairs with him....and you know. I would dread the rain because of that. I had such a longing to leave him and move to Norwich (where I live now, 16 miles away) but I did not let on to him.

But I loved the rain because it would make everything neon green. My raised beds would be full of crops and they sucked up that water like crazy. Here I can't really see the green so much, unless I go stand in front of the windows. At my house sitting at my computer, I was able to see out of four different windows at the same time. All green plants, grass and the woods. A peaceful scene for sure.

It was just SO green!

View attachment 344347


The beds on one side of the house. There were more out back.

View attachment 344348
Click to expand...
It looks so serene!
 
I enjoy socializing occasionally with family and friends. Seldom go to Public events except Zoo's and Scientific stuff. Maybe my passion to do Computer Research feeds my need to Socialize with others across the internet. I have noticed I like Comedy / possibly comical ridiculous, mindless stuff with these forums. haha. My Bad. Not meant to offend. .... but I probably started it. smiles meant.
 
I find that every morning I have to decide in advance to be happy and have a good day. If I do that then I do have a good day. If I get up and feel stiff from sleeping in a recliner or knees hurting then that is how I will feel all day. So I do not let myself think how miserable I feel. Later on I realize I forgot about it and how I feel fine now. My knees though, will always hurt if I stand anywhere for more than a minute. I get talking to someone and standing while I do and then I am in horrible pain. So I need to remind myself to sit on my walker immediately if I am standing in one spot very long.

Our new manager has done such a good job here at our building that now she has to manage another building in another town. It does not seem fair to her (or to us). The other building is a mess and that building was also owned by the same company that owned ours (previously, when our elevator was down for a month). It has not had an elevator for over five years! They have one of those stair chair lifts. They showed it on the news with an elderly lady using it. I knew I could not get on one. If you have a fear of heights or steep stairs it would be very scary to use.

The thing is that our manager is always busy here and now they give her another place to manage. So I figure she won't be doing such a good job here if she has to do two. She is not real young or in good health. The maintenance man also has to work at 3 buildings! He is swamped with work here and now it is getting hot so people need air conditioners put in their apartments. I guess all we can do is wait and see what happens next. It just shows how doing a good job sometimes instead of rewarding you makes you have to work harder doing twice the work.
 
katlupe said:
I find that every morning I have to decide in advance to be happy and have a good day. If I do that then I do have a good day. If I get up and feel stiff from sleeping in a recliner or knees hurting then that is how I will feel all day. So I do not let myself think how miserable I feel. Later on I realize I forgot about it and how I feel fine now. My knees though, will always hurt if I stand anywhere for more than a minute. I get talking to someone and standing while I do and then I am in horrible pain. So I need to remind myself to sit on my walker immediately if I am standing in one spot very long.
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:) Katlupe, have you tried diluted peppermint oil topically? That might help your knee pain.
 
Every morning now, I have been listening to two different YT videos that get me in the positive thinking frame of mind for my whole day. One is a recording of Dr. Norman Vincent Peale's book, The Power of Positive Thinking. I have read this book and many of his other books as well. His advice always helped me when I was in a tough spot. I like hearing his voice on this podcast/video.

The other one is a channel I follow on YT. Kelly Hogan of My Zero Carb Life. She makes videos that are more inspiring and she touches on much more than the food. Her insight to why people eat the way they do and what causes you to become a carb addict. You never really kick the habit. It is just like alcohol or tobacco.

I had tried to do this so many times. Since 2009, to be exact. Starting with Dr. Atkins. I know now why I had trouble with sticking to it. For one thing I was with people who could not live without carbs. I could have done it if I wasn't with others. Now I am alone and have done it. So that is why I could not do it before.

Being alone empowers me. Always having to ask someone else if I can do something or if they would mind doing whatever is so not me. I always resented others having authority over me. I gave them that power because of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Now I can have Keto Chow ice cream for lunch and ribeye for supper because I don't have to buy extra food for someone else.
 
gruntlabor said:
Many years ago I put myself on a low-sugar diet. I lost weight and felt wonderful. I didn't realize that I was actually on a keto diet: lots of vegetables, good fats, and protein. About four days into that sort of diet, and you don't even want the bad carbs.
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I look at sugar now and think of it as poison. Actually today I had to order groceries for my son and he ordered 2 big things of ice cream and Nutty Buddys. Didn't even look good to me now. I had a black licorice ice cream that I made myself with Keto Chow (a keto meal replacement shake) and it was the best one I ever did. I think I increased the butter to 3 tablespoons and it must have made a difference. Ice cream and popcorn were my two worst addictions. I think I have beat that habit now.
 

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