Reflections of My Life

Cameron said:
Thanks for your posts, I browse them and can completely identify with how you feel some days ! This aging is both wonderful and frustrating at times ! Thanks again you provide thoughtful insights in to what we are all going through. cheers
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for reading them! I appreciate it!
 
katlupe,,
Always read your posts,, here or where ever you your name shows up.
You give me much to think about.

Yesterday we were in a farm store,, there was a fence set up in it,, complete with a rabbit.

One of the clerks was moving the fence to made rabbit move.
Someone had laid down out door carpeting.
The rabbit thought it was good to chew on.
Clerk was going to remove the carpet.

Rabbit was white with a wide black streak down its back & few other black patches elsewhere.
Made me think of your rabbit & all the rabbits I've known. ;)
 

@Sliverfox Thank you! You are so nice to say that! I always have to think twice when tagging your name because I always call you Silver fox instead of Sliver fox. Is there a story with your name? Or is that a type of a fox for real?

Rabbits are just the sweetest creatures. Of course, I got lucky and got one that is easy to live with. Some people have ones that destroy everything. It is because they need to chew or their teeth keep growing and that is not good. Like a horse. Some people get them for children because they are cute, but they are not a good pet for children.

Trouble is those farm stores probably are selling them for meat raising purposes. I grew up in a family of hunters so have eaten rabbit quite often but they were not raised by us. I could never be a farmer. I'd have all those animals as pets! lol
 
katlupe said:
@Sliverfox Thank you! You are so nice to say that! I always have to think twice when tagging your name because I always call you Silver fox instead of Sliver fox. Is there a story with your name? Or is that a type of a fox for real?

Rabbits are just the sweetest creatures. Of course, I got lucky and got one that is easy to live with. Some people have ones that destroy everything. It is because they need to chew or their teeth keep growing and that is not good. Like a horse. Some people get them for children because they are cute, but they are not a good pet for children.

Trouble is those farm stores probably are selling them for meat raising purposes. I grew up in a family of hunters so have eaten rabbit quite often but they were not raised by us. I could never be a farmer. I'd have all those animals as pets! lol
Click to expand...
I had a jack rabbit as a bed as a child. It ate everything and mother let it loose in a field.
 
I follow a number of YouTube channels. Some I follow for years, others I watch then stop following for some reason or other. This is a new one I just started watching and I just love this woman. She makes me laugh. Especially when she puts her bunny hat on! Now I have to buy one for myself. Anyway her channel is called Becoming Bev and she lives in a van. Her story is very interesting and I love how feminine she decorated it.

I watch a number of channels about RV, car or van living but I would never do it myself. Or want to. I just like seeing the videos about other things. I love Bird Tricks and free flying their birds and how they care for and teach them but I would never want one at this time in my life. Lennon the bunny is the best bunny channel and has helped me with Rabbit so much.

Well what I wanted to say was Becoming Bev owns a campground with her daughter and she also shows that and how she is fixing up the different sites she has. She calls it "glamcamping" or something like that. That is what this video is about. Pretty interesting. I would go stay there if I ever wanted to go on a vacation just to see it in person.

 
I keep wondering why people on social media do not believe in being tactful? Why do they purposely hurt other people's feelings? They don't care. They make jokes at the expense of others. It has made me wonder if I do it by sharing cartoons or memes in the same way? Maybe they are not posted to a certain person's page or comment but it could be an issue that troubles a person and they either take it personally or it just makes them think about their own issue with it.

Perhaps a joke about something, that I struggle with does not hurt my feelings or cause me to be depressed. But another person can be affected by it in a different way. I can laugh at myself but find that when someone says something hurtful about someone I care about, I am not laughing. I don't usually say anything back because that calls more attention to it. I know men make all kinds of jokes among themselves that I would find in bad taste. Yet now, due to social media those jokes are put out for the world to read and laugh about. Laughing about another person's struggle..........aging, weight, looks, financial issues, marriage, etc.

Are we supposed to be hardened to caring about hurting someone's feelings? I just can't picture someone saying to someone with a weight problem holding two dogs on their lap...........who is that blob in the middle? I was very sad to see a comment like that on a picture I put up on fakebook. From someone who is usually pretty nice and caring. Regardless of how many people loved that picture, I did take it down. Some people look beyond those physical appearances. More so since we get older I think. I never chose someone in my life based on their appearance. Now I am aware of how that person feels about people who are not thin and beautiful...............yet, did I mention that she is not a pretty woman and overweight herself? Maybe she is poking fun at herself? I try to reason why she would hurt someone's feeling. Not thinking when posting a comment is no excuse because they are thinking when writing it.
 
Today looks like an iffy day. Kind of gray so far. I have another afghan and comforter to wash. Then my laundry will be caught up for now. I have to make an effort to not let it get behind again. I am making a grocery list to go shopping tomorrow.

Right now I am cutting up a cucumber, onion, bell peppers and lettuce to keep in the refrigerator for quick salads. I find that handier than making one for each meal separately. Sometimes I skip the salad if I have to do that. I am also cooking bacon and burgers so when I want it I just have to heat it up. Morning is when I have my energy so doing it now means I get it done.

Yesterday when I went to the store I really enjoyed the sun on my skin. My friend downstairs sits outside for an hour every day. It is her routine. Her doctor recommended it because it is good for your immune system. I knew that. I used to be outside every day and I miss it. So I am going to make the effort to do that too. Just add it to my schedule of things I have to do no matter what. My friend sits on her scooter in one of the parks near us.........we have four! She just watches the people and talks to others. I think it may be good for me to do that too.
 
Yesterday I went to the park across the street on Jazzy. It was great and I was kicking myself because one thing I did not do the last time I used Jazzy was that I did not put the charger on. Usually I do that every time I come back from wherever. So I was limited on how far from home I dared to go. I took my camera and got some pictures of the flowers and other sights along the way. It was beautiful out. People everywhere. There is a lady who sells hot dogs and drinks from a cart along the sidewalk on the 2nd busiest corner and she had a line of people waiting. I need to do this as much as possible.

I have been having so much trouble with this phone I have. I really am not a phone person but Sonny is and he talks to me a million times a day. The minute he wakes up he is calling me. Anyway for months now this phone has not worked properly. So he said he will buy me a new one. I wish I could get one without all the apps. Just talking and texting. I used to like messenger but my son does not use it anymore since fakebook changed their site and he hasn't been able to go there. I struggle with it myself. I have to turn my browsers off every time I put up a photo there then go back. I would have bought a new phone myself but I am saving for a new computer. This computer is a struggle too.

Today Sonny is taking me shopping. Aldi's and Walmart. So working on my list. I like to get my shopping done before check time so I don't have to go when the stores are crowded. Even so, when I get home I will be worn out. Hot weather saps the energy out of me.
 
The sidewalk across the street from my building. It is a nice walk (or ride, in my case).
across_st.JPG

My building. My apartment is around the back. For the most part I like living here. I miss having a garden and walking in the forest but I probably wouldn't be able to do that now anyway.

front.JPG
 
I went shopping with Sonny yesterday. Bought a lot since the stores were not so busy. At the end of the month people are usually out of food, money and food stamps. Makes it easier to shop with my walker. Sonny is still struggling with both of his big toe toenails removed. He has to wear sneakers with toes cut off. His daughter made them into a sort of a sandal. He had these sneakers in his closet for months because he ordered them but could not wear them. Now he can.

So this morning I made taco meat sauce in the IP. This will give me a few meals. I can eat it as soup or put it on top of my salad (which is very good that way). I have salad vegetables already to go, cut up in the refrigerator. Makes grabbing a quick salad easy. Later today I need to vacuum pack some chicken thighs I bought yesterday. I keep cheese cubes in a container too so I can grab a few for a snack if I need to or put them on a salad,

Sonny's doctor had him get a walker but Medicare would not pay for it due to they paid for a stationary one a couple of years ago. He does not use that at all but he had to buy one for himself. The medical place said they could sell him one but it was $200! So he bought it on Amazon for $59. instead. When he ordered it accidentally it came to my address because he had ordered something for me and forgot to change it. So I had to go downstairs and get this big box up to my apartment..............

pkg.JPG

If you can believe it, I carried it on my lap, resting on my toes on Jazzy. It was heavy too but I did it. I always find a way to do something if I have to.
 
I went for a ride on Jazzy today. I am trying to spend time outside more often than I have been. Being outside is good for your immune system but for me it has always been a mood enhancer. There were a lot of people out again today. Friday is always a busy day around here. I took some pictures and talked to a few people. Came back to have breakfast/lunch.

For years I bought Red Rose tea to make ice tea. I used about 6 bags in a jar. A 2 quart canning jar. When I moved here I started making two jars of it. So that was 12 tea bags about every 3 or 4 days. I ordered the boxes of 48 bags from Walmart online in a pack of 4 every so often. Well, the last time I bought it, the tea bags were now in those annoying little bags that keeps them separate. I hate those! I contacted them on their fakebook page and they said I could order them from their website but you had to order a hundred dollars worth or pay expensive shipping costs. No thanks.

I have changed to trying some of the other brands that do have those annoying bags. By purchasing the larger size teabags, they say for ice tea, I started out using 3 bags per jar and now only use one tea bag for each jar. So saves money too. Thank you Red Rose!

This is Bindy and her owners who I have met out on the street lately. She pushes a rolling walker with a milk box on the seat which is where Bindy rides. Though I did meet them once and Bindy was in a stroller. That is the back of our courthouse behind her. She said Bindy loves to have her picture taken. She posed perfectly!

bindy.JPG
 
As you all know, I don't usually have any visitors........but yesterday I had two! Both are neighbors who live across the hall from me. One I consider a good friend and she came actually to see a picture of Sonny's new dog. The other is a friend too, but not a close one. He lives across the hall and he is very nice but very LOUD! He likes to talk and just came to tell me about his day. I think the lady he usually talks to had already gone to bed by the time he came home so he came here. I didn't mind. So I had enough socialization for awhile. lol

My neighbor doesn't make sense to me. He drives all the way to Sidney 21 miles away to the DMV. There is one about a block away across the street. He said he doesn't like that one. Anyway he was telling me all about the car he just bought from his sister and I am sitting here thinking how glad I am that I don't have to mess with all that stuff anymore. No more repairs, insurance, registration, repairs, tires, inspection, etc.............oh yeah, I forgot GAS!

I think back to how my parents lived. My mother worked after my brother and I were in 5th and 5th grades. Her check always went into their savings account and they lived on my father's. They always saved for what they needed or wanted. I know things were cheaper back then but paychecks were smaller too. Since I started living here I don't have that 2nd paycheck but I am able to save for whatever it is that I need or want. Not paying all that interest on two of my credit cards is like having a 2nd check. Ha ha.

Now if I spend my money on something else and don't have enough to buy something I planned on then I wait till I can. It gives me a good feeling to pay down the debt I came here with. The thing is that I don't even know what it was that debt paid for. I have not spoken to my husband since 2018 in the fall so I have no idea if he got out of his black hole of debt or not. I bet not. He got into one of those debt reduction companies but did not put all his debt into it. Like his loans. And his 2 vehicles. I doubt he even caught up on the house payments. So he would not even discuss paying down our debt when I was there and now without me and the horses and those debt bills, he does not have to pay, he should be doing well. I doubt it. I doubt he has running water yet or much else. Sometimes I feel sorry for him and sometimes not so much. I guess it was all about money.
 
This morning.........mmmm, perfect coffee! Sometimes I don't get it exactly right, close, but not the way I want it. Today. perfect!

I got to thinking this morning about my niece. When she was a few weeks old, my first husband and I talked to my brother and his wife and said we wanted to adopt her. They were fighting all the time and already had one child that they were always leaving with my parents. Actually they had split up and went back together after she got pregnant. They were always leaving the kids somewhere and my mother was disabled and it was difficult for her to care for them.

My niece stayed with us often and we could afford to spend money on her and take her places. But my brother and wife said no they could not give her up. So that was that. They broke up. I still stayed close to my niece and she stayed at our house off and on. My parents started keeping both the kids on the week ends. My brother got another girlfriend who he lived with for 15 years and then married her and then within a year they were divorced. She had two kids of her own already, close to age of my brother's. So when his ex-wife called him to come take his kids for good he did and I thought it would be good.

Nope his new partner told his kids the day they moved in that they were not her kids and she would never be their mother or love them. Well, she treated my niece horribly. My brother looked the other way. If it was not a horse, a gun or a Chevy..........he had no interest in it. His kids stayed with my parents from the last day of school to the first day all summer vacation. And every week end and holiday. My parents bought all their clothing and whatever they needed. My niece was always wanting a mother. But by that time, I could not deal with her. She was stealing, swearing and had become someone I did not want to be around.

I blame my brother, her wife and her stepmother for what she has become. I also blame my mother in a way for letting my niece do things she would never have let my brother or I do growing up. She had no limits. Whatever either one of those kids did it was fine with her. I could not stand to be around them.
 
katlupe said:
This morning.........mmmm, perfect coffee! Sometimes I don't get it exactly right, close, but not the way I want it. Today. perfect!

I got to thinking this morning about my niece. When she was a few weeks old, my first husband and I talked to my brother and his wife and said we wanted to adopt her. They were fighting all the time and already had one child that they were always leaving with my parents. Actually they had split up and went back together after she got pregnant. They were always leaving the kids somewhere and my mother was disabled and it was difficult for her to care for them.

My niece stayed with us often and we could afford to spend money on her and take her places. But my brother and wife said no they could not give her up. So that was that. They broke up. I still stayed close to my niece and she stayed at our house off and on. My parents started keeping both the kids on the week ends. My brother got another girlfriend who he lived with for 15 years and then married her and then within a year they were divorced. She had two kids of her own already, close to age of my brother's. So when his ex-wife called him to come take his kids for good he did and I thought it would be good.

Nope his new partner told his kids the day they moved in that they were not her kids and she would never be their mother or love them. Well, she treated my niece horribly. My brother looked the other way. If it was not a horse, a gun or a Chevy..........he had no interest in it. His kids stayed with my parents from the last day of school to the first day all summer vacation. And every week end and holiday. My parents bought all their clothing and whatever they needed. My niece was always wanting a mother. But by that time, I could not deal with her. She was stealing, swearing and had become someone I did not want to be around.

I blame my brother, her wife and her stepmother for what she has become. I also blame my mother in a way for letting my niece do things she would never have let my brother or I do growing up. She had no limits. Whatever either one of those kids did it was fine with her. I could not stand to be around them.
Click to expand...
😂 and I was a foster parent for thirty years. The last 6 years I took in children who went to a day program for mentally disturbed children; and frequently had inpatient hospitalization mental health care. Your niece would/could have been one of my kids. I understand completely why you could not stand to be around them.

As I got older, and no longer did foster care, I had less and less tolerance for such children. It is such a shame that you didn’t get her as a baby. But to some people children are property, to be put on the back shelf and ignored.
 
My computer died. Plus my phone is iffy. In fact, I was planning on replacing it this month. I can barely receive a text on it. I could not go online to look for a computer. For me, it was an extreme emergency. My computer is my life. Otherwise I am cut off from the world as far as I am concerned. As much as I complain about fakebook, my friends and family are there. They like me there.

I like Lenovo laptops. So when I told Sonny I needed to go find one, he looked at Walmart online and found one that I really liked. So he got one for himself and I had him order one for me too (I paid for my own and had it sent here). Ordered Monday and here today. At least it is up and running. It is the Legion by Lenovo 5 and good enough for what I do. I will be switching the operating system tomorrow or the day after. I need to get used to it first.

I made one big mistake and will remedy that as soon as everything is normal again. My passwords are on a document that I keep in my external hard drive. Of course when I brought them up they were in Libre office which is my text software but this computer has windows right now and I do not want to download anything until I have changed it.

Seems like there is something always happening around here.
 
katlupe said:
My computer died. Plus my phone is iffy. In fact, I was planning on replacing it this month. I can barely receive a text on it. I could not go online to look for a computer. For me, it was an extreme emergency. My computer is my life. Otherwise I am cut off from the world as far as I am concerned. As much as I complain about fakebook, my friends and family are there. They like me there.

I like Lenovo laptops. So when I told Sonny I needed to go find one, he looked at Walmart online and found one that I really liked. So he got one for himself and I had him order one for me too (I paid for my own and had it sent here). Ordered Monday and here today. At least it is up and running. It is the Legion by Lenovo 5 and good enough for what I do. I will be switching the operating system tomorrow or the day after. I need to get used to it first.

I made one big mistake and will remedy that as soon as everything is normal again. My passwords are on a document that I keep in my external hard drive. Of course when I brought them up they were in Libre office which is my text software but this computer has windows right now and I do not want to download anything until I have changed it.

Seems like there is something always happening around here.
Click to expand...
Well, my desktop computer died a few days ago. Best Buy tried to extract some things but it did not work and my pictures and music are gone. I have no desire to reload those those things. I am taking it back to Best Buy, having them remove all my information from it and giving it to my oldest son.

There is nothing wrong with the hardwear. Windows 10 failed and became corrupted and failed. It is a better computer than he has now so he will be able to use it. I don’t think I’ll buy a new one, I’ll just use my iPad.

I am going to buy a new phone. I have a 7, I think. Libre2, a diabetic monitor, needs at least a level 8 phone. I am also buying a phone with a larger screen so I can read my books, from kindle, on my phone.
 
I am fortunate that when I was with my husband he knew a lot about computers. He designed websites and did a lot of other stuff writing his own software. So I have always had an external hard drive. I have always put my documents and photos and any other important (to me) things on the hard drive. So nothing was lost.

I have two such hard drives and one is old so it is big and heavy. It had given me a time the last couple of years so I was transferring my photos and documents from it to the new hard drive (which small, light and slim now............newer model plus cheaper). I could not just open it normally. I haven't tried it yet, but I am hopeful it might work on this new computer. Much bigger and after I get rid of windows it will be even bigger.
 
I have been working on downloading the programs I used on my computer. So I was busy all day on it yesterday. Then Sonny stopped by because he had to go to the county office building (practically across the street from me). A sudden surprise for me and he took me out to eat at the Chinese restaurant down the street. I am always up for that! Nice break that I needed I guess.

I am so proud of myself because I managed to install Ubuntu in my new computer! By myself! When my husband put it in my other computer he left Windows in it and partitioned it so it took up one whole half of my computer. He wasn't sure I would like Ubuntu. I did. I hated that Windows was in there taking up part of my computer, especially when I was having difficulties using it. I was afraid to take it out myself and I had no one to ask. I think I don't know anyone who even knows what Ubuntu is let alone use it.

Now there is no partition and no windows lurking in my computer. I was so annoyed with it yesterday while it was there. Microsoft never lets you forget it is there. Putting its nose into every single thing I do. I am happy now.
 
Today we had our coffee hour meeting downstairs. It was a nice meeting. We were surprised when my next door neighbor showed up. She has never come to any of our activities. But she was doing her laundry in the laundry room and it was right next door so she came in. I have always wanted to get to know her better since her apartment is right next to mine. Maybe she will come to more activities. I think I will make sure to invite her in person for the next one.

Sonny came to it too. He is welcomed by everyone to all of our activities even though he does not live here.

I volunteered to make the monthly calendar for the tenants. I will figure out how to do it. I have been looking at calendar templates but not sure they are big enough. I need the space where the day is to be large enough to add an event or a birthday or holiday on that day's square. Our old manager used to make these for us. I will make the master and then I can get copies made at the office supply shop down the street. It shouldn't cost much and others said they would chip in for it.

My idea is to add local events to the calendar because our city has a lot of things going on. More people who live here would go to those if they knew about them in advance. I want to include a welcome to any new tenant that has just moved in on that month's calendar too. So many times new people move in and we never know them. This way I want to make the old tenants know who they are and to welcome them.
 

Back
Top