Reflections of My Life

Bless you Kat for trying to help her, but Pepper is right, you can't sacrifice yourself...look at what happened to your feet!

The poor lady is taking too much pain med, by the sound of things, seeking relief but I worry about the side effects.. falling, etc. They can make you loopy.

At least the nurse comes every day... I'm surprise the nurse hasn't arranged for meals on wheels or cleared away papers from near the stove!
 

You can't sacrifice yourself kat! Speak to her nurse or even doctor if you can. Does she have family that visit?
She has a son-in-law who used to come here almost daily. He would take her to appointments and shopping. But since this has happened with her legs where she has to use a transport wheelchair he is not coming very often. I am right across the hall from her so it is easy for her to come to my door. If ...........she just came to my door. Had to put pain patches on her back. She is in awful pain and I don't know what to do for her.
 
If she has an SIL, does she have a daughter? Her dependency on you is too much. She may need 24/7 care. Kat you are such a wonderful, interesting person with a good heart. Wish you were my neighbor!
 

Bless you Kat for trying to help her, but Pepper is right, you can't sacrifice yourself...look at what happened to your feet!

The poor lady is taking too much pain med, by the sound of things, seeking relief but I worry about the side effects.. falling, etc. They can make you loopy.

At least the nurse comes every day... I'm surprise the nurse hasn't arranged for meals on wheels or cleared away papers from near the stove!
I think she is not taking enough pain meds. She used up what they gave her when she went to the ER. Now she has pain patches. I just put two on her just now. If you saw her legs, you would be shocked. My friend said her feet are dead and I believe it. She has grandchildren but nobody has been here that I know of.

Yeah, I think the nurse needs to do more then just dressing her wounds. But I think she just follows her orders.
 
If she has an SIL, does she have a daughter? Her dependency on you is too much. She may need 24/7 care. Kat you are such a wonderful, interesting person with a good heart. Wish you were my neighbor!
She had four children and her daughter and a son both died in 2019 and another daughter had died before then. A few months ago her last child, her son died. This SIL was married to her last daughter. He has always been really good to her. Don't know if maybe he is having a health issue himself. He had some eye trouble that I know of.


Well in my past life I worked in health care as a certified nursing assistant in a nursing home and as a home health aide so it is hard for me to ignore someone in need. Just in my head I think I can do things that physically I cannot do.
 
kat,

I think that you should consider calling Adult Protective Services or similar in your area and express your concern over her health and living conditions.

Good luck to both of you in this difficult situation.
I believe the office of the aging is sending a representative to talk with her this week. They will evaluate her and then contact the appropriate agencies that can help her. Her doctor is coming on Wednesday. If the manager is in this week I will mention it to him.
 
Yesterday afternoon Sonny took me grocery shopping. Everything on my list was in stock. We had a nice afternoon and then came back here and watched an episode of The Waltons.

This morning I got up early so I could make yogurt. It is in the Instant Pot now. Then make my keto recipe for coleslaw and that is in the fridge.

I decided to give myself a birthday present. I ordered a tray table that is adjustable. I want to sit in that new chair I bought and be able to go on my computer. It would be easy to just move the computer there without unhooking it anywhere. I needed it to be at the right height so I can type on the keyboard and I think this one will do so. Didn't want one that could fall down easily (if a certain bunny hopped past it).
 
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The emergency squad was just here and they took my neighbor to the hospital. Now if they send her back here there is something wrong. Her feet are purple/red. Her legs are bleeding and leaking fluid. She obviously cannot care for herself any longer. Her SIL came to see her and then a little bit later the emergency squad was here. He just told me that she cannot live alone and when anyone mentions going to a nursing home she goes crazy because she used to work in one.

Poor thing, but there is no other answer. I picked up her trash and dirty laundry this morning that was all over her floor. I hope she does not come back here. Being here taking care of herself means she is not getting the proper care. She needs a clean environment and the right foods as well as medical care.
 
The emergency squad was just here and they took my neighbor to the hospital. Now if they send her back here there is something wrong. Her feet are purple/red. Her legs are bleeding and leaking fluid. She obviously cannot care for herself any longer. Her SIL came to see her and then a little bit later the emergency squad was here. He just told me that she cannot live alone and when anyone mentions going to a nursing home she goes crazy because she used to work in one.

Poor thing, but there is no other answer. I picked up her trash and dirty laundry this morning that was all over her floor. I hope she does not come back here. Being here taking care of herself means she is not getting the proper care. She needs a clean environment and the right foods as well as medical care.
it will turn out better now...i totally understand her fear...i worked in nursing homes too.
 
Having had both my deceased husband and my deceased sister in nursing homes, I can only say this:
Either save money to hire a private aide during all waking hours (husband) or
have friends and family available to do "shifts" during waking hours (sister).

Residents with no involved family, or those without any visitors, well ........ just think,
if no one is watching?
I can tell many not nice stories.
 
this is quite scary tbh.. to hear 2 people here, and others elswewhere who have worked in nursing homes, absolutely terrified that they'll end up in one themselves, is not instilling any confidence in any of us who may face that in our future :(
sorry hon...it's a sad world at times...being in a hospital ....alone...nursing facility...alone....if one has family checking in on the patient...much better....we'll get thru it all.....i might face that same scenario...
 
sorry hon...it's a sad world at times...being in a hospital ....alone...nursing facility...alone....if one has family checking in on the patient...much better....we'll get thru it all.....i might face that same scenario...
I've been in hopsital alone... ..I'm just very concerned that people who have actually worked in nursing homes caring for the elderly are scared of going in one themselves.. please do tell us why ...
 
I've been in hopsital alone... ..I'm just very concerned that people who have actually worked in nursing homes caring for the elderly are scared of going in one themselves.. please do tell us why ...
I have worked in many nursing homes. The main problem with them is they force the aides and nurses to take care of too many people. And then it is race to get them up and dressed and to the dining room. Then hurry hurry to get them fed and back to their rooms. Three times a day. You do not have the time to spend with each person you care for. I would be putting one person to bed and see wheelchairs lined up outside that room by my other residents who wanted to be next.

When I first started, I got my training in a small privately owned one. The people I worked with were not good to work with. I left there and got hired at a much larger one that was run by our county. I liked it much better. But it still depends on the aides and nurses who do the care. Some are better than others. I tried to care for the residents in my group as I would want my parents to be cared for. Most aides are in too much of a hurry to get done. Some of them are rough with the residents.

When I left NY and moved to FL I tried several nursing homes that looked beautiful. Horrible places to work. I could not take it and it had been a job that I loved doing. I found a different job and never went back to nursing homes. I did work as home health aide though after I moved back to NY.
 
Having had both my deceased husband and my deceased sister in nursing homes, I can only say this:
Either save money to hire a private aide during all waking hours (husband) or
have friends and family available to do "shifts" during waking hours (sister).

Residents with no involved family, or those without any visitors, well ........ just think,
if no one is watching?
I can tell many not nice stories.
Exactly! And one other tip is for you not to go there at the same time every day. It is hard if they have set visiting hours but the nursing home I worked in didn't. Your family could come in when they got up, which would be a good time to do a surprise visit.
 
I have worked in many nursing homes. The main problem with them is they force the aides and nurses to take care of too many people. And then it is race to get them up and dressed and to the dining room. Then hurry hurry to get them fed and back to their rooms. Three times a day. You do not have the time to spend with each person you care for. I would be putting one person to bed and see wheelchairs lined up outside that room by my other residents who wanted to be next.

When I first started, I got my training in a small privately owned one. The people I worked with were not good to work with. I left there and got hired at a much larger one that was run by our county. I liked it much better. But it still depends on the aides and nurses who do the care. Some are better than others. I tried to care for the residents in my group as I would want my parents to be cared for. Most aides are in too much of a hurry to get done. Some of them are rough with the residents.

When I left NY and moved to FL I tried several nursing homes that looked beautiful. Horrible places to work. I could not take it and it had been a job that I loved doing. I found a different job and never went back to nursing homes. I did work as home health aide though after I moved back to NY.
I sincerely hope those who are rough with patients, meet their Karma and end up in the worst nursing homes being treated the same way... :oops:

Thanks for explaining Kat... we do hear occasionally of violent carers who are caught mistreating a patient.. but that sounds like it might just be the tip of the iceberg
 
I sincerely hope those who are rough with patients, meet their Karma and end up in the worst nursing homes being treated the same way... :oops:

Thanks for explaining Kat... we do hear occasionally of violent carers who are caught mistreating a patient.. but that sounds like it might just be the tip of the iceberg
sorry so late getting back....my experience was like katlupe...makes me angry
 
I had cats almost all my life. This is the first period of my life without at least one. Most of the time I had more than one. To be honest, I really miss them. Cats are a unique animal and it is true that they own you. You do not own them. They tell you what they want and my cats were always quite vocal (well I did have a few Siamese). These last four years have been quiet.

A rabbit does not make any vocal sounds outside of the occasionally growl. I think Rabbit has only done that once since we moved here. When he first became a "house rabbit" at my house, he was just getting used to me and his surroundings. Sometimes when I was going to clean his cage (a daily job) and he was in it (he can go in and out of it as he chooses) I would pick him up to take him out. He did not like that! Then he would make these little growls. I thought it was cute but he did not.

Now here in my apartment, I usually clean the cage around two in the afternoon. It is a time when he is in the middle of his sleeping time. Rabbits sleep most of their day, like cats and dogs do. So I know he won't be in the cage. If he is, I wait. If he wants to alert me to something he wants, he usually will run circles around me or dig into his runner rug to make noise with his claws (the runner rug is his, I put hay and other food right on it). When he runs circles and changes direction in midair that is what is referred to by rabbit people as "binkys" and it means they are happy. He does it when I wake up in the morning. Running around the chair or my walker and me.

If I talk out loud to myself, he thinks I am talking to him and he listens. I try to remember to be vocal often during the day because he likes it. At my house, I used to read out loud in the evenings to my husband and son and Rabbit would sit near me to hear. He likes music too. The only other animal I have had that seem to enjoy music was my horses. They loved to hear music.

I do feel bad for Rabbit that he cannot go outside. I would not take the chance of him getting away from me outside. I am sure I would not be able to lure him back because he did live outside for a few months. But not in a city. I suppose it is the same for cats that never go outside. I do not open my windows here once the weather got warm due to the heat and to insects. The sun shines all day on my windows and insects (especially flies) like to sleep in the sun and then make their way through my screens and window casings. I doubt Rabbit would appreciate going outside since he does not like any noise or new surroundings. He is 8 years old now and not sickly or anything like that. So I suppose he is good inside here. Not like he is a wild rabbit.

In 2014 when he first lived in my barn, here he is playing with one of my cats.

playing.jpg
 
Boy there was a number of new people in the introductions thread! Kept me busy for a few minutes welcoming them. I guess word is out that this place is the THE place to be!

Today I have to see my primary care doctor. I know she/he (who knows which one I get today???) will try to push all their tests and things. All I want is blood work.......and the fact that I have seen a doctor in a year. I just want to be sure I will be okay to have the rest of my teeth extracted so I can get decent dentures. I also need to make an appointment with the eye doctor but wanted to get the dental stuff out of the way first. Since Sonny drives me to my appointments I have to work with his schedule too. He has a lot of appointments.

Since I use Ubuntu on my computer only (no windows) I need to teach myself how to install programs using Terminal. I have been reading and watching YouTube videos to do this. It takes me awhile since I am not technically or mechanically inclined. When I was with my husband he took care of all this for me. Now on my own, I have had to learn to do the computer stuff myself. Been having difficulty with installing Libre Office and now my printer driver has disappeared. So need to do what needs to be done on my own. I will do this.
 
When I talked to Sonny this morning, he said he had been up since 2:30 AM. His dog, Cinnamon started a commotion at the door barking. He turned on his porch light and there were five raccoons tearing his garbage apart on the porch. He yelled but they ignored him. So he got his gun that fires blanks (actually it is what is called a starting pistol for races and things like that) and fired it off. A bunch of shots in a row. They left. He fastens the door shut.

He goes back to bed then hears Cinnamon growling and he looks at her and she is at the door again with her hair standing up. He looks out there and they are back. So he fires the thing off again and they scatter. Cinnamon is out the door after them. The door is still shut and he sees one of the windows was open.

They can be persistent. I imagine they will be back.
 
They're probably hungry. There's been an uptick in possums in my yard this summer. I've come home to a couple twice now. They're after the cat food the neighbor lady leaves out for the stray. Plus it draws ants.
 
They're probably hungry. There's been an uptick in possums in my yard this summer. I've come home to a couple twice now. They're after the cat food the neighbor lady leaves out for the stray. Plus it draws ants.
They are. They love to get in people's garbage. I had one going through my recyclables and he looked like a little man picking up each can and looking inside. I washed out all my cans and most of them were cat food cans. So he really didn't find much and left it like it was.

Glad to see you back on here!
 
My doctor appointment was good. She said I was in very good shape. I had lost almost 19 lbs since I was there last. I didn't even know that! My blood sugar was good. I asked her to check me for diabetes since it ran in my family. So now I will continue on as I have been. Going to make sure I get my walks in as long as it is not too hot or raining. For sure, keto is the way to go. I have always been a slow loser and I am still slow but I am like the turtle. Slow and easy wins the race or something like that.

On the way home we stopped at Subway to get our normal chopped salad. We were informed they do not make them anymore. Just layered salads. We got one but I won't go back for that again. Too small. I think they discontinued the chopped ones because you got a lot of salad once it is chopped. They were losing money on them. I can make them myself, it is just sometimes I want it already made for me.
 
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My thoughts this morning have turned toward guilt after reading another member's post. I have experienced the feeling of guilt many times through out my life. After reflecting on it, I realize it was not something I should have felt. When I finally moved from my house to here, leaving my husband, he made me feel guilty that I had done so. Did he ever feel guilty himself? No, not that I could see. But he knew (or thought he knew) that he could manipulate me with it.

For years I begged him to address the issues I had with him and our house. It did no good. So I finally found assistance in leaving. Once I got out, I was not going back no matter what. Yes, there have been times when I felt guilt about doing so. I mean there was a time when I was crazy in love that guy. But he killed my love for him by various things he did or did not do. Since I write a journal, I can look back at anytime and see what a typical day was like at the house with him. I was miserable. I was crying myself to sleep. I thought I was going to die there. I thought we were going to lose our house and I would have no where to live. It was dusty and dirty. I had no budget for groceries and basically had to grow what I could. Or get food from a food pantry. It sucked..........

I moved from there and he offered to help me move my things. He brought me water in glass jars (canning jars) and hay and fresh picked greens from our property for my bunny almost daily. He went out of his way to do whatever he could. Sounds nice doesn't it? Well, I can tell you that if he had manipulated me to trust him and go back, he would have gone back to being like he was before within a very short time. Very soon I found other sources for those things he was bringing me. I did not want to see him daily.

Now I have not seen or talked to him for over three years. The day I had my horses rescued from him and taken away is the last time I spoke to him on the phone. I am still married to him. I just cannot afford a divorce so if he wants one he can pay for it. Self-care is the best thing you can do for yourself. Life is way too short to be miserable. Your home should be your sanctuary. Mine is.
 


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