Reflections of My Life

I made that mashed cauliflower yesterday and have leftovers for tonight. One thing I can say about it is that I will never use the immersion blender again. It clogs up in the space where the blending thingy is. So that will go in my pile to get rid of. I like my electric or manual hand mixers the best. Quick and easy to clean. What I will say about my homemade mashed cauliflower is that it can replace mashed potatoes. It still tastes like cauliflower but it is the smooth texture that I really enjoy. So if I made some kind of meat with a gravy or even just meat juices, I think they would go good together. Hard to give up potatoes. But high carbs make me feel horrible. My special treat when I go out to eat will always include french fries. The funny thing is they do not make me feel bad.

Today I am planning on taking Rabbit's cage all apart and clean the tray underneath. Maybe I can put the whole cage in the shower and give it an extra good cleaning. If I survive that, I will vacuum. Seems strange that simple jobs like these take so much out of me. But it is so hard when your knees won't let you stand very long. I am adapting to doing these jobs in little bits at a time. Work a bit, then sit down, then work some more. Doing the cage is tricky because I have to be sure Rabbit is sleeping somewhere and not needing his litter box which is in the cage.

I won't be seeing Sonny today as he is working on a go-kart with a couple of his friends. Later he is going to be racing it which I am not happy about but he is not a child. I just think it is going to be hot and with a helmet, he will be even hotter. His grandson will be there and maybe his daughter so they will keep an eye on him. Just hoping he doesn't get in a wreck.
 

Yesterday I was a powerhouse! I vacuumed everything. I took the cage apart and cleaned it with vinegar and then put all new flooring in it and cleaned the tray that is underneath really good. I was lucky that Rabbit was sleeping all day in his tunnel box and didn't need his litter box till much later. I cooked supper and after I ate, I washed all the dishes and made coffee for the morning before I sat in my recliner to watch television.

I was feeling bad the last few days and not sure why. I never get depressed and felt like I might be. But now I think it was because I was babying myself thinking I couldn't do things myself. I felt great last night when I went to bed. I worked smart though by taking mini breaks the whole time I cleaned.

Now today I have more cleaning to do.......you wouldn't think so because my apartment is tiny and I live alone. But I like to keep on top of things. I cannot stand it to look messy, cluttered or dusty. It is true that you are your environment. I was horribly depressed living at my house and the inside was very dark, cluttered and dusty from wood stoves. I need clean, colorful surroundings to be happy.

Oh yeah, one other thing that affects the way I feel, mentally and physical is what I eat. If I eat high carbs I feel horrible and don't know what makes me do it. I believe it is because our bodies crave carbs and processed foods, trying to get the minerals, including magnesium, from them because they are not in our foods and our system needs them. But they are not in those foods either. ]
 
I am starting to feel bad for Sonny. He did not know what he was getting into by hooking up with me. He is SO social. He is invited to all kinds of things but usually goes alone because I will not go. I am not mean to him about it. But I told him before we even made this relationship a thing that I did not like to go to things and especially did not like to be out at night away from my home. He knows I can not tolerate second hand smoke or hot weather. He puts up with both just to go to something.

He asked me to go to a hotel away for a week-end or even a night but I will not leave Rabbit alone. A rabbit is not like a cat. I can't just fill a dish with food for him to eat. I can put a big pile of spring mix and hay down and within a few hours it is all gone. And I just don't trust anyone else to care for him. Then he asked me to go to a opening night for a stock car race this Thursday. Just the thought of being outside in this heat..........oh, no, I can't do it. I told him he needs to find a younger woman who can do these things with him. But he won't.

The weirdest thing is his health is way worse than mine. He takes a large amount of prescription meds plus has to use 3 of those inhaler things. But he pushes himself to do things even though it is hard to do. I guess I am lazy. I just won't do that. Some days when it is hot like this, I don't even make it to the dumpster with my garbage.

So I talked to him about taking a ride (during the day time) and I will take my camera to get photos and we can go somewhere to eat. I always liked doing that but before I separated from my husband we could not stop to eat or to shop in the little shops along the way because we had no money for extras. It was fortunate just to have gas money.
 

katlupe said:
I am starting to feel bad for Sonny. He did not know what he was getting into by hooking up with me. He is SO social. He is invited to all kinds of things but usually goes alone because I will not go. I am not mean to him about it. But I told him before we even made this relationship a thing that I did not like to go to things and especially did not like to be out at night away from my home. He knows I can not tolerate second hand smoke or hot weather. He puts up with both just to go to something.

He asked me to go to a hotel away for a week-end or even a night but I will not leave Rabbit alone. A rabbit is not like a cat. I can't just fill a dish with food for him to eat. I can put a big pile of spring mix and hay down and within a few hours it is all gone. And I just don't trust anyone else to care for him. Then he asked me to go to a opening night for a stock car race this Thursday. Just the thought of being outside in this heat..........oh, no, I can't do it. I told him he needs to find a younger woman who can do these things with him. But he won't.

The weirdest thing is his health is way worse than mine. He takes a large amount of prescription meds plus has to use 3 of those inhaler things. But he pushes himself to do things even though it is hard to do. I guess I am lazy. I just won't do that. Some days when it is hot like this, I don't even make it to the dumpster with my garbage.

So I talked to him about taking a ride (during the day time) and I will take my camera to get photos and we can go somewhere to eat. I always liked doing that but before I separated from my husband we could not stop to eat or to shop in the little shops along the way because we had no money for extras. It was fortunate just to have gas money.
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Stock car races, too hot, too noisy, too much smoke, used to go to them when we were young. Could not pay me to do so now. A weekend away sounds fun if something is planned like sight seeing, but just to spend money to stay in a hotel, like you, I’d rather be home.

Rabbit could be boarded at a Pet Smart, however, just saying.
 
Aneeda72 said:
Stock car races, too hot, too noisy, too much smoke, used to go to them when we were young. Could not pay me to do so now. A weekend away sounds fun if something is planned like sight seeing, but just to spend money to stay in a hotel, like you, I’d rather be home.

Rabbit could be boarded at a Pet Smart, however, just saying.
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Sonny lives for racing. He is now racing go-karts. I just do not care to be around a lot of people.

Even when I was younger when I went on vacations I looked forward to going home more than I did going on the vacation. My first husband hated that about me! lol

I don't think Rabbit would do well in a boarding situation. I could always ask one of my neighbors to feed him and spend a bit of time here with him. He knows a few of them. But I don't think we will be doing any overnight trips. We talked about it today and I think we are going to just plan some day trips to nowhere in particular.
 
katlupe said:
Sonny lives for racing. He is now racing go-karts. I just do not care to be around a lot of people.

Even when I was younger when I went on vacations I looked forward to going home more than I did going on the vacation. My first husband hated that about me! lol

I don't think Rabbit would do well in a boarding situation. I could always ask one of my neighbors to feed him and spend a bit of time here with him. He knows a few of them. But I don't think we will be doing any overnight trips. We talked about it today and I think we are going to just plan some day trips to nowhere in particular.
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I love vacation, but I don’t like crowds either. Still, I love vacation and hope to take one next year with or without grumpy; who can stay home as far as I am concerned.
 
Yesterday was very stressful. Spud, one of Sonny's dogs was missing for about 6 hours! In this heat! He is a small Jack Russel and is 17 years old. He is pretty active, but his hearing and vision is not very good. Nevertheless he is good about staying near the house. Well, yesterday Sonny was putting stuff in his car and Spud was right there around the car. He went in the house and when he came back out a few minutes later, Spud was nowhere to be seen. He called and called. He sat on the steps thinking he'd be back but he wasn't.

Sonny called me and was a basket case. He has three dogs, but this guy was his constant companion when he drove over the road. We both thought he slipped away to die, yet he hadn't seemed like he felt that bad lately. Pretty active. Sonny sat there all day constantly looking for Spud. About 6 hours later, Sonny is on the phone with me and watching out the window...........and here comes Spud back to the house! It was super hot out and hard to know where he was or what he was doing. I mean Sonny looked everywhere, he had even crawled under his house and his sheds. I thought another animal might have gotten him. I prayed all day for him to come back and not have anything wrong. Yes! My prayers were answered!

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The day before yesterday there was a big confrontation with the state police when they went to do a "safety check" at a home in our area. It was close to where Sonny lives (Harpursville, NY). A female police officer was shot in the leg and the guy took off. So they had a big "manhunt" in the surrounding area (not where I live). Sonny had been here with me watching television and left a little before midnight.

So he gets home and he has a long driveway but can see a car sitting up by his house. Not one that he recognizes. He goes down the road a bit and calls the cops. They told him to wait for them to get there and then follow them into the driveway but turn off his head lights. by then the car was gone. Three vehicles pull up fast and go into his driveway and he follows them and he said at least 9 guys get out with guns out and swarm his house. They go inside and all around it. (I can't imagine what his dogs and parrot were thinking.)

Yesterday, the area was on a lock down. Three schools, among other things in the area were closed . They said to stay inside your home with the doors locked and that this guy was armed and considered dangerous. Finally yesterday afternoon they saw him from the helicopter along the river bank and took him into custody. They have not told anything about him except his name and description.

Makes me glad I live where I do because I remember that feeling of living in a secluded area and calling police because someone was around my house in the middle of the night. Sometimes I was so frightened but my husband would just go back to bed.
 
I just finished making sugar free lemonade and more ice cubes, so I sit down again at the computer. I check my bank account and I have a deposit from SSA for $12.00???? Thank you Social Security. But I don't know what it was for.

Sonny was babysitting his great grandson, Kolten again yesterday so he went shopping with us. He was asleep in his car seat in the back and we got to Walmart and parked. Sonny thought he might be hard to wake up.........I just said to him, "Want to go shopping?" He woke up immediately and was out of his seat in a flash!

In the store, he always goes with me instead of Sonny. He likes to put things on the scale in the produce section. Does he beg for candy or junk food? Well, sometimes potato chips but usually he wants an apple. First he weights it. The other thing he likes is those things near the check out that you can put your change in and it rolls down these long slides for charity. So whenever I get some change I give it to him and you should see him jump up and down watching that. He is adorable and we enjoy having him with us.
 
Yesterday, Sonny's (my boyfriend) granddaughter picked him up and took up to her house. She lives about 2 hours away. They went to a race near her home last night and I am sure he had a great time. She has 2 little boys and one he hadn't even seen yet. So he was looking forward to it. He said he went to pay to go into the race and her husband told him to put his money away that he wasn't paying for anything this week-end. Since she lives so far away he doesn't see her too much. She is busy working, just passed her CNA test and seems to be doing well. He needed this so much (Her mother was pretty hurtful to him this past week.)!

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day around here. The manager sent a paper to everyone telling us they were putting a dumpster out for us to use to throw out whatever we want to get rid of. It seems that some of the storage lockers have hazardous things in them that should not be stored. Then it goes on to say that you can't put hazardous things in the dumpster????? People here are elderly and I would guess that the reason they have that stuff to begin with is because they had it when they moved here and now have no idea what to do with it. I don't really have anything I want to throw out. I want to take it to the thrift store. Just have not got around to doing it yet. I will work on it though and have Sonny take me to Binghamton to the thrift store.

I hope whoever reads this has a happy Sunday.
 
Today I took a walk using my rolling walker. I have 4 parks within walking distance of my apartment. It was nice to get outside and especially nice to actually walk instead of using "Jazzy" (my mobility chair). I took my camera and got a bunch of pictures. So it was a fun walk. Now that I did that, I am thinking I might be able to walk around the corner to the coffee shop, the Chinese restaurant or the pizza restaurant. I hurt right now from walking but maybe if I did it more often I would start getting used to it. I know I need to keep moving and with the rolling walker I can sit down anytime I need to.

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This park is on the busiest corner in Norwich and about half a block from my apartment building.
 
I have had a miserable couple of days. Flies! They came in through the new hay that Sonny brought me. See he buys the hay at the farm store near him. Then this is what I don't like, but I am not in a position to complain about what someone else does for me. He puts it in a black garbage bag and stores it on his porch. Which is hot as the sun beats down on it all the time. And he does have flies at his house because he leaves doors open (even though he has air conditioning) for his dogs to go in and out. He brings me a flake of hay at a time. So it lasts a pretty long time and is out on his porch all that time.

I have no place to store a whole bale. So I ordered 20 lbs. of hay from Small Pet Select yesterday. Even though it is quite pricey, I cannot live with flies. I told myself when I moved from my home in the country, "Never again!" Sonny did pick up a bale from Tractor Supply when I told him what happened. It was compressed hay and besides that it contained alfalfa! Rabbit cannot eat that. I feed him first cutting of Timothy because he needs those long strands for his digestive system. It is important. Alfalfa is only fed to baby rabbits and then only for a couple of months. Too rich for an adult bunny. Rabbit eats compressed Timothy miniature bales for his teeth. And I feed him orchard grass and oat hay for variety but in small amounts.

I am working on changing his litter area in his cage right now. Since I didn't have a lot of hay to put in it, I skimped on it last night. He did not seem to mind. I am thinking of getting the wood stove pellets to try as litter under the hay to see how he likes that. I wish I could just take him shopping and let him pick it out himself!

This is how it usually looks with the normal amount of hay. He will stay in it for hours, but NEVER locked inside.

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I think the flies are gone. Today my delivery of fly traps from Amazon arrived and almost as soon as I put one up in the window a few got attached to it. Then other flies came to it, but did not go to it. A little while later I check and there were a few more but not a lot and all the others disappeared. I am not sure where they went or how they got out of here unless they could squeeze through the window casing all along. I have the blinds open and don't see even one at the top of the window. I cleaned the windows with Windex and the windowsill with Pinesol, so the smell of those might have scared them off. I read they are attracted to aromas.

So it is late for me to be up......12:47 AM and here I am mopping my kitchen and bathroom floors. I don't know what possessed me to do it now but it is done now. Frees my time up tomorrow to do other chores that I have been putting off. Rabbit does not know what to think. He is used to my routine of going to bed around nine or ten. I think those flies made me feel dirty. I can't stand them.
 
Sliverfox said:
@katlupe,, we are finding more stink bugs sneaking in to our house.

Both of us hate those evil looking things.
Pup tried to eat one ,, soon spit it out.
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None of my cats nor my pet chicken would eat them. My cat, Patches would go up to it and then jump back!

One time I had to go to a recording studio with my husband to listen to the play back of his album and the recording engineer had put the headphones on me and I was listening.........all of a sudden I felt something traveling up my leg! Then I was smelling it, oh my i was trying to act like nothing was happening. I did reach down to my leg and tried to keep it in one spot. I could not get out of there fast enough! They would hibernate in our clothes upstairs and he must have found my jeans.
 
I had to make two trips out to the dumpster getting rid of that compressed hay Sonny bought. I got hot and grumpy. Compressed hay is very dense and heavy. So three garbage bags of it because I could not carry the container I keep it in out there. Too heavy. So I stood in front of it for about an hour lifting out handfuls to put in the garbage bags. Both of my feet are now swollen but I can't stop and put them up because I have to get ready for our meeting downstairs.

Sonny kept saying he was sorry but I was not mad at him. I was just mad at myself for not wanting a car and being able to get my own stuff. But that is life. As long as I have Rabbit I will have this hay issue. I tried him with a lot less hay in his cage and he did not complain. He's a good little boy. This is what the cage looked like when I skimped on the hay. Pretty empty.

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My apartment has very high ceilings and is painted white that has a rough texture to it. I love it and the way it looks........BUT, it causes me to get a large amount of dust. Not sure if that is due to the type of paint or just because this building was built in 1880. Dust and odors have always bothered me but worse now than ever. My house had a large amount of both due to two wood stoves and dirt from outside and not being able to have a vacuum to clean with. So I would have to say this is the only thing I was disappointed in when I moved here three years ago.

So I purchased a mattress and box springs protectors. They completely enclose them in a zippered bag. You would not believe the amount of dust that was on the iron frame edge! It was white. I took my bedroom area (not really a bedroom since this is a studio apartment) apart and cleaned it really good. Took out everything under the bed, which was only two plastic containers. One with canned food and one with old photo albums that I had removed the photos from. Nothing is going to be under it again. The same with the vanity.

I put the bed back so it is not up against the wall. Even the head is not close to the wall. I want to be able to get around it to keep it clean. Well, Rabbit thought this was an interesting turn of events! When I get up in the morning, he is usually out in my living room area in front of the dresser on his rug (runner). Not this morning. I went back to look for him and he was in the area where the head of the bed used to be. He really likes it. He was stretched out asleep.
 
I am still working on my apartment. By the time my aide is able to start working for me there won't be anything to clean. Ha! I would have done more yesterday but our elevator had a note on it that it was not working right. So I did not use it and I really need to go to the dumpster. I later saw others using it anyway?? I might take a chance on it today, when the manager or maintenance man are here. At least I could call them if it got stuck.

It is hard for me to do much since it got so humid here. In hot humid weather I always retain water and have to keep putting my feet up. This is why summer is not my favorite season. Thank God for air conditioning! I lived for so many years without one and don't think I would have survived much longer without one. No television either. Now I don't have cable or watch regular programming but I watch whatever is available through Prime Video and YouTube and Rumble. They are enough for me.

I have been scanning in photographs I took over the years. I posted some on fakebook yesterday and my friends all like them. I mean I have a lot of pictures of my cats and who wants to see them besides me? But my friends all liked them anyway. The pictures made me think about my past and even about the little details, such as things in the pictures. I'd think to myself, "I remember that comforter or that dish or picture!"
 
Yesterday afternoon, we had a dumpster diver going through the dumpster that was put out for everyone to clean out their stuff that they did not want. I didn't put anything in it. It seems that most of the stuff came from management cleaning out two extra offices on the lower level that used to be rented out. I did not have junk so whatever I have that I do not want I am putting in a box to be donated to the Salvation Army. So this dumpster was not filthy dirty or anything like that. She was our excitement for the day since the only people that have been to our regular dumpster was sleeping in it at night. I feel sad for those. I didn't feel sad, mad or any emotion like that for the woman yesterday. She was saving this stuff from going to the landfill and was probably going to use it. There were pieces of drywall that looked good and she cut them with a utility knife right there and took everything away on a grocery cart.

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Yesterday was pretty quiet around here. I got 2 birthday cards. One from my friend upstairs who gives cards to everyone on their birthdays. She is the sweetest lady ever. The other was a card from Sonny. We did not celebrate my birthday as his birthday is on the 27th and we usually do something for our birthdays together. Right now though, is a bad time to celebrate anything for him. He has gout in his knee and an ingrown toenail that is causing him a lot of pain. Plus his dachshund, French Fry has not been well. He is pretty worried about her and has been staying near home this week. He brought me water and some groceries yesterday.

The dumpster diver came back yesterday afternoon. Some of the people in my building were yelling at them that they were calling the police. I don't know what the fuss is about. Who cares about that stuff? This time though, she came with a guy on a bike and she was riding in a cart connected to the bike. He put stuff on top of her in the cart and when he drove off all I could see was her legs.

I told Sonny all I wanted for my birthday was for him to take me to Binghamton to the Salvation Army so I could donate the stuff I take out of my storage area. I will feel relief when that is all cleaned out. Today I am working on my photo albums for my son and brother. I have them all scanned it and now putting them in my old albums to give to them. My son's I might just leave for him for after I die. Not sure on that.
 

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