Reflections of My Life

This is the second time I am up this morning. I can't sleep. I have to put my feet up several times a day. Not in the bed but in the recliner. I don't sleep when I do that but I am relaxed and maybe my body or brain thinks I am sleeping. My whole life I have never had a problem sleeping but this is throwing my whole schedule off. The thing is that I now like the recliner better than the bed. Especially for putting my feet up. Oh well, that is how life is I guess.

When I get up like this at night, I don't turn on the light so Rabbit gets active. He starts running around like it is time to get up. I have a lot of things on my mind the last few days so that can also be interfering with my sleeping. I am just happy that fall is on the way. I try to like the hot weather, but I can't and I don't think I ever really did. I have two events coming up this week-end and then after that, I am done with making plans unless it is with hair, doctor or dental appointments. I am ready to hibernate!
 

I finally got the okay for my aide to start work. I am putting her off for another week though because our building is having pest control in this coming week and no sense subjecting her to that stuff. I will get through another week on my own. Today I got all my clothing washed and hanging to dry. Tomorrow morning I will try to wash and dry towels and put them away before Sonny comes to pick me up to go to his great granddaughter's fundraiser.

I am making more changes in my apartment. I need to have more space so that I don't trip and fall trying to avoid something. I saw on the report by the adult services counselor who came here she put "fall alert - keep areas clear" on it for the aide. So I thought I better fix it myself.
 
I woke up this morning to not feeling very good. Tuesday I see my doctor so will see what else I can do about this.

Today I was supposed to go to the fundraiser for Sonny's great granddaughter. I begged off and he said he understood. I told him to go find someone else that can and wants to go to all these things he goes to. I feel sorry for him but I told him right from the start that I would rather stay home than going anywhere. I hope he will understand when I don't go with him tomorrow to the Stockcar Hall of Fame annual event. That is even worse.........outside, hot weather, hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries and lots of walking. Just the thought of it.......yuk!

The fundraiser is a spaghetti dinner..........of course, I try not to eat pasta, bread or meatballs made with bread crumbs so not a good thing for me to go to. I wish I could go to these things and not eat while watching others eat dish after dish. I can't because I don't have that strong of willpower. Next week is our potluck supper downstairs in the community room and that is always a carb fest. It is spaghetti and meatballs that night too! I am going to skip that one too.

More and more people eat low carbs now and yet everything is geared toward high carbs. Or they will show a picture of low carb foods and include things that I know are not on my list. Like fruit. I love fruit and I could live on it. I used to make a fruit plate with a bunch of different fresh fruits on it and just eat that for a meal. I know now, that it was not healthy for me. I can only have 20 carbs or I can feel the difference.
 

I hope you feel better soon @katlupe.
By the way I bookmarked your blog.
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It is just a few days before fall actually begins and I am so anxious for it. I promise I will not complain when the temperatures are cold enough to turn the heat on. Hot weather is so hard for me to handle. Even with the air conditioner on, but it does make it easier to live with when you have no other choice. I miss those rain days that last all day and then some. We have not had them here this summer. Other areas around me have had them and even had flooding conditions. I think it skipped us.

I love living here in this apartment, downtown, where I can go to the store or the park in a few minutes. I remember living in my house which was about 16 miles away from Walmart and it was a big deal. We were always needing gas money or hay money (for our horses, which we should have never gotten in the first place.......but that is whole other story.) so if I needed something from the store I could not always go get it. It is true that money can split a couple faster than just about anything else.

I always said that I was a survivor and could get a job anywhere or anytime. Well, as I got older and my knees started getting worse, I could not get a job. Even one I had to sit at. I think they must have figured I would be out of work a lot or could not walk to the file cabinet or something. Now if I had no health issues (I most likely would not be living here) I probably would have a job. Or if I didn't have a job, I would go get one because they are all over the place right now.


Living here though, I cannot make any more money. Every time I get a raise from SS, the rent goes up a little. If you make $100. for anything, even something you sell, you are supposed to tell the manager and then your rent is adjusted for that month. So it is like you are better off not selling anything for that amount because you don't get to keep the whole thing. I think you could sell it for $99. though. Sometimes you might need something and it is not in your budget so you want to sell something (like jewelry or tools) so you can buy it. You can take the chance of doing so without telling them but if they find out (they have ways!) your rent might go up forever or you could get kicked out. Not sure what would happen. Oh well, that is life.
 
The agency that provides my aide to help me, sent me a big package of masks for me to give her when she is here working. I was surprised to see it at my mailbox but appreciate it. She will be starting on the 28th.

I have a lot of things going on this week......plus not doing very well with my legs. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment and hope he/she can help. I am wearing the compression stockings every day and actually I like them. I have gone for a number of years now with no socks due to the elastic at the top. I don't understand why these make my legs feel good but they do.

Since my feet have been swelling up, it makes me remember my mom. Her feet were always swelled up and they hurt. You could not touch them. I went to her house once a week and gave a her a good sponge bath (could not get her in their shower it was super tiny and if I got her in it with a walker I could not help her) and washed her hair. Every so often, when needed, I would color her hair for her. Her hair was never gray, she would not allow that!
 
Today is the first morning in many days that I woke up to not having swollen feet and ankles. Sometimes the feet would be down, but never the ankles. I slept in the recliner with my legs on the wedge I use in the bed. Maybe they were higher than normal and I did go back through out the day a bunch of times and made myself stay there for 30 minutes or more each time. I go to the doctor today and I made a list of things to mention to him.

Hope whoever reads this has a great day........last day of summer, make the most of it.
 
katlupe said:
Today is the first morning in many days that I woke up to not having swollen feet and ankles. Sometimes the feet would be down, but never the ankles. I slept in the recliner with my legs on the wedge I use in the bed. Maybe they were higher than normal and I did go back through out the day a bunch of times and made myself stay there for 30 minutes or more each time. I go to the doctor today and I made a list of things to mention to him.

Hope whoever reads this has a great day........last day of summer, make the most of it.
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I wish you good health katlupe and must tell you, I enjoy your easy way of writing your blog :)
 
I have had a few very rough days, but think I am on the downside of it now. I do not want to say here what happened to me, but will say I would not wish it on my worse enemy. I would rather not detail what it was because I don't want it showing up in online searches. Let's just say it was an experience I hope to never have again. Due to that my body is rebelling and it entailed a lot of work that I had to do.
 
Up at 5 this morning. Doing laundry while nobody is down there.

I have been thinking about how much people fight. In my building there has become a issue with a lady on one floor becoming friends with two new tenants on her floor and getting them, one in particular, to try to take over the tenant meeting and potluck supper night. Now since I have lived here, 3 years, that lady has never even came to the meetings until this month. Nor the potluck suppers.

The group of them said things against the lady who has been organizing these things for at least 3 years that I know of. Hurt her feelings terribly, she was in tears. Last night the 2nd group had their potluck supper and nobody on my floor who usually goes went to it. Nor did the people on the floor above me. I guess they should have their own potluck suppers on a different night than we do. I would solve it like that.

One of the new ladies is sort of pushy and she did come to one tenant meeting and started taking notes immediately. Then she had ideas for all sorts of classes and people to come in and talk to us about insurance and things like that. No one showed up to any of them. The manager had a nutritionist come in and give a talk too but no one showed up to that either. I didn't go because I don't go to those things. I have trouble enough going to the meetings, bingo and the suppers. I only go to keep close to my neighbors, otherwise I would never see them.
 
I didn't realize until I posted the photo in the teapot thread that my poster in my bathroom is the same sunflowers.
This is the teapot that I posted (it is $275.00 dollars on the site I found it at):

sn.jpeg

(I think I posted it there, I lose track. I posted it on my fakebook page and everyone went bananas!)

Here is the poster in my bathroom:

poster0.JPG
 
I cannot wait for Tuesday when my aide starts. I am just so worn out today and the thought of having someone to help me is almost like a dream. I keep thinking at the last minute something will happen where she can't work for me. People with children, especially daughters, are usually fortunate as they usually help their parents. When you have a disabled child it is completely different.

So I finished the laundry earlier and came back and made a pot of chicken soup. My comfort food. Now I am going to keep my feet up a bit and then do Rabbit's cage. Sonny is bringing me more water and spring mix for Rabbit. I think I will have him bring me some ice cream too..........been one of those days when I need something. I didn't want him to drive here because he is having headaches due to a new medication. But he can't stay home, so he may as well bring me the water.
 
katlupe said:
I didn't realize until I posted the photo in the teapot thread that my poster in my bathroom is the same sunflowers.
This is the teapot that I posted (it is $275.00 dollars on the site I found it at):

View attachment 185632

(I think I posted it there, I lose track. I posted it on my fakebook page and everyone went bananas!)

Here is the poster in my bathroom:

View attachment 185633
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I think your poster is a print of Vincent Van Gogh's Sunflowers.
 
RadishRose said:
I think your poster is a print of Vincent Van Gogh's Sunflowers.
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It is and the teapot is from the Franz Collection and this is what they say about it in the description: "This Van Gogh Sunflowers Porcelain Teapot from the Franz Collection pays tribute to the celebrated artist. The vivid floral motif stays true to Van Gogh's style. Each piece in this collection is licensed and endorsed by the prestigious Van Gogh Museum. This hand painted teapot is the perfect way to express your passion for art and the beauty of nature or makes a fantastic gift for a friend."
 
I have spent years it seems getting rid of extra stuff. Where did it all come from? Years of stuff I guess. Then my parents died and I ended up with their things that I was too sentimental about throwing away. Now I am onto myself to just get rid of anything I do not need or want or just saved because it was my parents'. Most of the things they had weren't worth anything anyway. My father bought a lot of stuff at thrift stores and then he never threw a thing away. I had to do that after he died in 2012.

I have a tendency to collect old tee shirts and sheets for just in case I need them. So out they go. I will keep maybe 5 old sheets because I use them to block my door because there is space between the floor and the bottom of the door. Two I use for Rabbit, one in front of his cage because jumping in and out he scatters hay. And one under my computer table because he does the same thing there, eats hay and makes a mess. From now on I do not need old tee shirts and all those extra sheets.

Another bad habit I have is collecting plastic containers. I have plenty of glass canning jars or glass bowls with covers for leftovers. I do not need those. Out they go too. No more collecting.

Working on this today.
 
katlupe said:
I have spent years it seems getting rid of extra stuff. Where did it all come from? Years of stuff I guess. Then my parents died and I ended up with their things that I was too sentimental about throwing away. Now I am onto myself to just get rid of anything I do not need or want or just saved because it was my parents'. Most of the things they had weren't worth anything anyway. My father bought a lot of stuff at thrift stores and then he never threw a thing away. I had to do that after he died in 2012.

I have a tendency to collect old tee shirts and sheets for just in case I need them. So out they go. I will keep maybe 5 old sheets because I use them to block my door because there is space between the floor and the bottom of the door. Two I use for Rabbit, one in front of his cage because jumping in and out he scatters hay. And one under my computer table because he does the same thing there, eats hay and makes a mess. From now on I do not need old tee shirts and all those extra sheets.

Another bad habit I have is collecting plastic containers. I have plenty of glass canning jars or glass bowls with covers for leftovers. I do not need those. Out they go too. No more collecting.

Working on this today.
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I continue to rid myself of stuff as well. Made my husband put his stuff away and gave away a shelving unit along with some more containers. Today the rest of his beer mug collection goes to a friend that took the others. I am still working on the photos, but separated all the photos on dvds and am taking them to my daughter in October.
 
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This morning I am looking forward to my new aide starting. She will be here at noon for two hours. I had to recognize the fact that this is really what I needed. I tried to do so many things and just could not. Who would think I would have difficulty cleaning a studio apartment??? It is not that I am so old, I am not. I don't even feel it in my head that I am this age (69). But due to my health condition, mostly mobility, I need the help.

I am up and having coffee and looked at my feet.......they went down! Really down this morning. I took a picture of them to have something to keep track with. I was busy yesterday and used my walker instead of Jazzy. Now as I write this, I wonder if walking is what helped or if it is the weather turning cooler? I am forcing myself to not use Jazzy unless I am going down the street. I can use the walker to get to the dumpster. Maybe I can increase that walk when I am out there.

Since I emptied out a lot of clothing that I do not wear I have some empty spots and one whole drawer in my dresser. I put my gel pens in part of that drawer. Now they are not out in the open and I have to put the ones I want to use in a small tray. When I am done, I can put the tray back in the drawer till I color again. I need as little clutter as possible in this apartment since it is so small. Small, but just right for me!
 
I am up early today because I went to bed early. I wanted to get started on a Instant Pot experiment as early as possible. I am cooking a pork shoulder boneless roast in the IP but when it is done cooking, I am leaving it on warm for about 6 hours. I follow a cooking channel called 6 Sisters Stuff and she said she does that to make it real tender and juicy. So I will see about that because the IP's slow cooking option is not good to use. I have a slow cooker, is new but I love the way the IP cooks much better. It smells good.....making me hungry.

Yesterday, as I mentioned before, my new aide started working for me. Our day went well. She is here for 2 hours but yesterday, she had to leave half an hour early to get her vaccine. So on Thursday, she will be here for 2 and a half hours. She mopped my kitchen and bathroom floors. Put clean bedding on my bed. (Oh boy! I cannot do that no matter how I try.) Did some laundry and took my garbage out to the dumpster. She did a good job and I will have more stuff for her to do on Thursday. Basically I was getting to know her on the first visit.

When she first gets here, she has to call in to the agency with my phone and it clocks her in. Then when she leaves she uses my phone and clocks out. I hope this works out for me.
 
The pork roast is perfection! Now I see how to use my IP as a crockpot as well as a pressure cooker........but never use the slow cook option on it. Doesn't cook it enough or like a real crockpot. This worked good.

I had signed up a couple of weeks ago for a food box for seniors through the office for the aging (I guess that is me, aging) and it came today. Two medium sized boxes that were packed. Then my friend from downstairs came to my door with a box of things from her box that she did not want. Did I want them? Yes, it is food, I took it.

One thing she did not want was a bag of apples. Now I have two, so tomorrow I am making applesauce in the crockpot. Not the Instant Pot. The last time I made applesauce was at my house on the wood stove. I would just let it simmer till it was the way I liked it and boy did it smell good. I had a lot of apple trees there but shared many with my horses.

Another thing in the box was 3 ears of fresh corn so they are in the IP right now to go with the pork roast for my supper. I haven't really eaten anything today but grab a bite here and there of stuff. So that will be my meal for the day when it is done.

beautiful_day.jpg
My building is the brick one to the left.

I walked.........yes, I WALKED, with my walker, but nonetheless I walked and did not use Jazzy, to the Service Pharmacy across the city parking lot. When I first moved here I used to go there all the time, but have not felt confident enough to get there and back on foot. I am afraid of using Jazzy till Sonny changes the tires so can't just run to the store. Today is my friend and neighbor's birthday and I wanted to get a card for her. So I made myself do it and it is a beautiful day, not too hot and bright and sunny, so it was enjoyable. I also got her a Dove candy bar to put in the card. She needs cheering up since others downstairs have been kind of bullying her and she is too nice for that type of treatment.

I mean really........people our age acting like that????? Kind of childish. In a senior living building I think people should work together for the good of everyone here, not try to create trouble between each other. We have enough of that in our country already.
 
I made applesauce this morning in the Instant Pot. So easy! I don't even peel the apples and only added cinnamon and 1 cup of water for the IP. 6 minutes cooking time, then natural release. Used the immersion blender to blend it and that was it. Poured it in jars to put in the refrigerator. No sugar and it is as sweet as I like it. Tastes like a dessert. I got 2 quarts from 2 bags of apples.

The swelling of my feet have gone way down. Now I really think the cooler weather helps but so does the fact that I am trying to use my walker more than Jazzy. I need Jazzy if I leave the building, but most of the time I can use the walker.

A man in our building lost his wife maybe in 2019 and he has been very quiet and stays in his apartment all the time. Sometimes he gets to talking to me and talks and talks because he is lonely. He never comes to the potluck suppers or coffee hour like he did when his wife was alive. I would have described him as being timid.

He told a couple of us last week that is now taking martial arts. He said the master (that's what they call the teacher I think) asked him why he wanted to take it and he said how bad he has felt and lost all his pride and confidence when his wife died. The master told him that after a few lessons, he will be walking tall with confidence. I just saw him this morning and he was out in the hall with the other people on his hall and he was talking and laughing and completely different.

applesauce0.JPG
 
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