Remember when yours was a young family

[GeorgiaXplant]

and holidays were stress and anxiety time trying to figure out how to please his family, your family, and everybody else? On another forum, there are many, many posts about trying to get from one set of g'parents to the other set, who's hosting, which relatives were snippy or insulting or just PITAs in general, who's vegetarian, allergic, declines to eat anything gluten-free, will only eat keto-friendly. One poster said the family member who insisted that she absolutely had to host Thanksgiving lives more than 50 miles away from the nearest relative and she and DH live 150 miles away and have two children under the age of 5. Apparently, this relative is not only demanding and stubborn, it doesn't matter to her that getting there is beyond inconvenient for almost everybody in the family. And according to the poster, Thanksgiving dinner is a requirement in the family. Oy!

One posted said that she's spent so much time in the past few years making sure that everybody in their families was happy that she lost sight of "happy" holidays included her, that she had a right to happy holidays, too.

When my kids were little, we didn't have those kinds of problems because we lived 800 miles away from the closest (geographically speaking) relative and more than a thousand miles away from the rest of them.

Now DD is stressing over DGS spending some of his time at Thanksgiving/Christmas with his GF's family. He and the GF moved in together a month or two ago, and DD can't wrap her head around the kids being grown enough to have their own friends, their own lives, their own plans. We've always opened gifts on Christmas morning. I mean, really, what are the chances that DGS is going to navigate over here at the crack of dawn on December 25? LOL

DGD has a BF (who may or may not be serious and who may or may not even still be the BF by Thanksgiving!) but he'll want to be with his family at least for some of the time, and he'll probably want DGD to be there with him.

I hope I haven't ever made my kids feel like they were expected to spend their holidays seeing to it that I was "happy" at the expense of their own happiness.

 

[Aunt Bea]

I agree, life is a series of stages and the sooner we learn to accept that the more content we will be with ourselves and the people we love.

 

[Lc jones]

I just left a posting about this on the holiday section of our site it seems as though I’m the one that is spending all the time trying to just get along with everyone and not making waves, when is it my turn to get what I want? I have to ponder this a little bit more and then try to figure out what I would like.... I think what I would really like is everyone to just get along....🕊🕊

 

[Catlady]

I agree, life is a series of stages and the sooner we learn to accept that the more content we will be with ourselves and the people we love.

That poster is beautiful, Bea, it tells a whole story without a single word.

 

[Lc jones]

That poster is beautiful, Bea, it tells a whole story without a single word.

I agree it is poignant.

 

[treeguy64]

I never had any problems like those described, above. I never felt any obligation to go to this relative or that relative's house for the holidays. I guess I lucked out in having a live and let live family. We always left the door open for any relatives that wanted to feast on my epicurean offerings. Being a gourmet vegan chef has its drawing powers, around the holidays. I never minded a full house.

 

[Sassycakes]

In my childhood I had a strange Christmas. My Mom's Mother passed away when I was only 4yrs old so we would spend Christmas Eve at my Dad's parents house. My Dad's parents hated my Mom so we weren't allowed to eat dinner with them. We had to wait in the living room until they were done eating. Then they would all come into the living room and my Grandmother would hand out gifts to all the grandchildren except me and my sister. Funny but it never really bothered me or my sister. In the later years then my Mom hosted all the Holiday dinners at home. Those days were wonderful. Now it's my turn and my sisters turn. We switch every year.

 

[Ruth n Jersey]

I had wonderful holidays growing up. My grandparents lived next door and together they hosted the holidays. Grandma made the turkey and the last minute my Grandpa would bring it over to our house where my Mom had everything else ready.
After I was married I started hosting the holidays. I enjoyed it when the kids were little but as the family got smaller and smaller and dealing with special diets,the weather, and creaky bones and all the shopping I was glad that my daughter stepped in and is now doing most of the holidays.
My son is welcome at my daughters home but they aren't close. He rarely comes. This bothers me but it is his choice.
My daughter lives right outside of Washington DC. It's about a 5 hour drive for us. I'll bring a side dish or two but mostly sit back and enjoy the grand kids.
We will stay over the weekend and will visit the Smithsonian Institute on Saturday. I haven't been there in years. I think the grand kids will love the new dinosaur exhibit and it will be so much fun sharing the experience with them.