Romantic or Creepy?

Catlady

Catlady

Well-known Member
Location
Southern AZ
Just read the below at a Dear Abby column. How would you handle something like this? I disagree with Abby about telling him her age, I doubt that her age has anything to do with it, obviously he admires her but does not want to contact her face-to-face. Is he shy or a stalker? Opinions?

I would just leave him a note in the small cup and say to stop doing it, that I have a partner and it's bothering him.
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DEAR ABBY: In the past three weeks or so, a man has placed a flower blossom in a small cup on the edge of my patio. This has happened 18 times. The flowers are, seemingly, from surrounding yards. I live in a golfing community, and many golfers pass by daily. Once, he left a golf ball as well. As I was looking out one day, I saw a man wearing a red shirt, tan cap and shorts. His cap was pulled low, so I couldn't see his face. He looked to be middle-aged, and he walked away quickly. He has never tried to make contact with me. My partner is not happy about this, and I'm afraid if he catches the man in action, he may cause a scene. I don't know if I should be flattered or afraid. Also, the man might be shocked to learn that I'm 85. (Well, yes, I am kind of flattered.) What to do, Abby? -- SECRETLY ADMIRED IN FLORIDA

DEAR ADMIRED: Here's what I'd do. I would accept the compliment, but I would also leave a note on the edge of the patio addressed to Secret Admirer. In it I would say that I'm 85 years old and, while flattered, I'm not available -- so please stop leaving gifts on my patio.
 

C'est Moi said:
Maybe the flower is for her partner. She and Abby are making some assumptions when they don't actually know the creepy guy's motivation. I don't think she needs to write any note or tell anyone her age. Post a "This Property is Videotaped" sign and get on with life.
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My first thought when I read the letter was that she should install some cameras. Another thought, since the creep seems to be middle aged, is that perhaps he thinks some other woman lives in that house, it's the wrong patio.
 

Could be the guy is just a snoop and wants to get close enough to see what is going on so uses the excuse of the flower.

Had one of these people at the former apartment, a lady who would walk her dog inches from the patio doors. One day I was in a foul mood and popped out when I saw her coming and told her the next time she did it that I would follow her home and peep in her window. She kept her distance after that.
 
The action of the flower-giver could be construed as stalking, plus if he's harvesting the flowers from other properties, that's likewise inappropriate. His intentions might be pure, but as it's said the streets of hell are paved with good intentions...
 
Leave trash on your porch shaped like this:
Image result for trash shaped like a corpse
 
StarSong said:
I wouldn't necessarily read anything nefarious into his motives. This man may have spotted her at some point and thought the little gifts would brighten her day. Perhaps he's got his own mother or grandmother in mind.

I'd ignore the behavior.
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I can also lean this way, SS. In fact, I'd much prefer to.

Too many times I've heard "Gee, he was such a nice man, we would never have suspected....."

I've become jaded I suppose.
 
Is he bringing his own cup? A paper one perhaps? If not, I'd remove the darn thing. Or, I'd try to catch him in the act and ask him to please stop. Actually, now I think of it, I'd want to know why. It's possible that he's innocently trying to cheer someone up. Maybe somebody made him a goofy bet about how long he could get away with it. But I know this: the stories in my head about his motivation are probably way better than the reality. LOL!
 
Pepper said:
"Dear Abby: In the past three weeks or so, a man has placed a flower blossom in a small cup on the edge of my patio. This has happened 18 times."

Unless the cup is part of a statuary and made of granite, why not just remove the cup?
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I read it to mean that he puts the flowers in a different cup each time and she brings both inside? An empty cup would blow away with the breeze, anyway. Also, by taking the flowers/cup, she's hinting that she likes the offering. Maybe leaving the cup with dried out flowers would be one way of saying ''not interested"?
 
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