Rumpology

S

SifuPhil

R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
Location
Pennsylvania, USA
In a recent thread here the name of unique arts and crafts site Etsy came up, and it reminded me of someone who I think can only be called ... unique.

... well, I'm sure she could be called many things, but I'm sticking with unique.

Jacqueline Stallone, Sly's momma, famed for giving birth to The Great Mumbler and also, it appears, for being the founder of Rumpology.

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For the mere pittance of $600, you can send a digital picture of your tuchus and receive a customized report that explains your fortunes. As it claims on her site,

Jacqueline has discovered that the left and right cheeks reveal a person's past and future, respectively. The right buttocks represents the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain, while the left buttocks represents the right hemisphere. It is similar to palmistry -- where the left palm represents the past and the right palm represents the future. A rump report from Jacqueline Stallone can tell you whether you are going "ass-backwards" or eyes open into the future.
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According to Jackie, even your vertical seam - the gluteal cleft - can portend fame and fortune -

"I have been asked many times about the gluteal cleft. It is more than an advertising sign for plumbers, teens, and non-conformists. IT HAS REAL SIGNIFICANCE.

It is a natural part of the human body and of vital importance. It represents the division between the ying/yang, good/bad, light/darkness, between your past-- the left cheek and your future -- the right cheek.

I have noticed in my years of rumpology reading that it often has characteristics of personality. Many bankers cleft's are very short; while lawyers are very long. It can also vary in width -- with politician's seemingly extra wide and cop's notoriously narrow. Have you had a look in the mirror recently at yours?
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... no, Jacqueline, I have not ... some things in life are better left undone.
 

Ozarkgal said:
Yes, I'm sure it's not what it's cracked up to be anyway. I wonder if Rumpologists have roasts at their conventions, you know, like a rump roast.:playful:
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Oh, can it.

I've often wondered if derrière is related to Perrier. That would make for some interesting marketing techniques ...

"From the bottom of the Earth - Perrier."


...oohhh Gawd, I need sleep!
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You and me both, sister. I haven't slept since 3am yesterday.
 
Ozarkgal said:
How about "Our Perrier won't stick to your derriere"
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Oooh ...

rkunsaw said:
Bottoms Up !!!
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*groan*

What hath I wrought?



"Want to have a sleek, sexy bottom, just like the stars that stroll down the Champs-Élysées? Do you want everyone in the locker room to exclaim "MERDE!" when they spy your lower hemispheres? Do you want to hear a giggle in their talk when you wiggle in your walk?

Well, now you can! Thanks to an amazing discovery in the sewers of Paris you too can sport a breathtaking butt, a heavenly heinie and an awesome ass! Guys and gals will gasp with glee when gazing upon your galloping globes! All thanks to ...

The Perrier Derrière Diet !!!"
 
Who do you get to take this picture anyway, a professional photographer? Sears Portrait Studio? Oh, I know, you set up the camera with a timer and then dash into place and "moon" the camera.

And what do you do if you have incontinence? Well, "DEPENDS!"
 
R. Zimm said:
Who do you get to take this picture anyway, a professional photographer? Sears Portrait Studio? Oh, I know, you set up the camera with a timer and then dash into place and "moon" the camera.
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Luckily my laptop has a webcam, so I can just stand up, turn around and expose the world to the 8th and 9th wonders of the modern world.

And what do you do if you have incontinence? Well, "DEPENDS!"
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That would be my run of luck! I'm sure someone would let it leak out ...

Someone once asked me, "Do you suffer incontinence?"

I answered "No, I have a tough enough time just in my state." :rolleyes:

Hey, where else could you tell your future by looking at what's behind you?
 
NEWS FLASH!!! Today, Ophelia Heinie and Herb Utts were seated as new board members of Rumpologists r US, Inc. Mora Bunn replaced Les Cheeks after he suffered injuries in a hairy crack up last week.

Spokesman for Rumpologists, Ima Toosh said the company is expecting a widespread growth of it's assets in the near future.


:rolleyes:;):playful::devilish:
 
Damn, I know my ass has gotten me into a lotta trouble in the past. Maybe if I had known this, it mighta helped. I bet there's plenty to say about Kim Kardashions's ass. A wide lense would be needed maybe even a panoramic picture haha
 
pchinvegas said:
Damn, I know my ass has gotten me into a lotta trouble in the past. Maybe if I had known this, it mighta helped. I bet there's plenty to say about Kim Kardashions's ass. A wide lense would be needed maybe even a panoramic picture haha
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Wow, yeah - they'd need one of those trolley shots, where the camera is set up on rails and they push it real fast. :p
 
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