Saw Declining Mother Tonight

Beezer

Beezer

Senior Member
My Mom is 88 years old with dementia.

She has stopped eating and taking her meds. She does not have long to live. I played piano at the Villa for her...she just sat in her wheelchair with her head in her hands. She had played piano for me since I was a toddler. Now it was my turn.

love you for always.jpg
 

Of course it's the circle of life, but it doesn't make it any easier.

The 7 grandkids however are steaming ahead...the next generation is thriving. All thanks to my Mom and Pop! It all started with the goodness from those two individuals and trickled down throughout the family.
 
I felt your post deeply, and it brings a lot of sadness. I can only imagine how hard this time must be for you and your mother. My thoughts are with you both during this difficult moment. But I quietly smile when I think you must have some wonderful, loving memories to fall back on too. Something like that can't be taken away.
 

Beezer said:
Of course it's the circle of life, but it doesn't make it any easier.

The 7 grandkids however are steaming ahead...the next generation is thriving. All thanks to my Mom and Pop! It all started with the goodness from those two individuals and trickled down throughout the family.
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It isn't easier but over time you will be able to reflect on good times and blessings that will ease the pain you are feeling now.

Take care of yourself and spend as much time as you can with her as she begins to leave you.

🤗 🤗 🤗
 
Beezer said:
My Mom is 88 years old with dementia.

She has stopped eating and taking her meds. She does not have long to live. I played piano at the Villa for her...she just sat in her wheelchair with her head in her hands. She had played piano for me since I was a toddler. Now it was my turn.

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I looked after my mother during lockdown. She was unable to support her own body weight, too frail to care for herself, and at the time, the hospice wasn't accepting new people due to the pandemic. I found myself saying the same words you said: 'Now it’s my turn.'

My mother had cared for me when I was a child, and especially as a young child unable to do anything for myself. It felt like I was now returning that love. It wasn’t easy, but those words, 'now it's my turn', gave me strength, and I hope they can give you some too. I'm sure you will make your mother proud.
 
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I went through the same thing with my dad last June. He had stopped eating. I kind of knew that I would probably not see him again after my last visit with him. Dementia is cruel and hard for both the patient and the family. Make sue you take care of yourself during this time .
 
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Hugs to ya, Beez... I went through this almost exactly a year ago. Remember there is no one size fits all solution to how we handle these soul-crushing situations... no "right" way to react.

Oh my goodness... that Love You Forever book page you posted brings back some seriously strong memories for me. It was gifted to me when my daughter was a baby. I loved it so much that I bought another copy to give to my Mama. She read it to me when I gave it to her and we both cried. That was in the late 80s or early 90s... never imagined I'd see it played out over the coming decades.

Yeah... powerful book. For anyone not familiar, a reading of the book can be found here:

 
It's so hard watching parent become a shell of who they used to be. I was the caregiver for my Dad. After he passed, the end days were the only thing I could remember. It took a long time to remember him for who he was.
Take care of yourself. Friends will help with support.
Looking back, I would not do it any different.
 
My only sibling died in Feb. this year for dementia related issues. He could not longer swallow. I have watched many die
but this was the worst. To see a physically fit 73 year ole man, shrink to barley recognizable was hard.
I hate this disease more than you can imagine. I will take my chronic pain everyday vs the alternative.I continue to try and keep my mind alert and pray I stay sane enough to take myself out before the disease does.
 
CallMeKate said:
Oh my goodness... that Love You Forever book page you posted brings back some seriously strong memories for me.
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Thank you all for the heartfelt replies. This is a special forum.

@CallMeKate

My daughter is in University taking psychology and has chosen Robert Munsch's 'Love You Forever' book for her major class assignment. From what I read, Robert pitched his story idea to scores of publishers before it was picked up. Thank gawd he kept persevering and now we all have this treasure. My little gal just ordered it off of Amazon for $7.00...it's coming tomorrow.
 
Mom passed away this morning.

My Father was like Spock, and my Mother was Mary Poppins with her music. I've always felt this is why I come from an unconventional family. I think one day I'm going to write a play entitled...

"When Spock Met Mary Poppins"

It will be loosely written about their over 70 year loving relationship together. Who knows...maybe I'll garner a Tony award from it? :)
 
I'm so sorry to see your post. We're never ready to let them go, not even when we know it's time. I'm glad you were there for her in her final hours.
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Beezer said:
Mom passed away this morning.

My Father was like Spock, and my Mother was Mary Poppins with her music. I've always felt this is why I come from an unconventional family. I think one day I'm going to write a play entitled...

"When Spock Met Mary Poppins"

It will be loosely written about their over 70 year loving relationship together. Who knows...maybe I'll garner a Tony award from it? :)
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I think romance stories about older people are a very good idea. I have noticed many romances end early, and I think in part that is because we never imagine having the long-lived lives we have today.

When I go to the library to get movies, I look for movies about older people. I don't relate to movies about young people unless they are special. I am looking for movies that increase my awareness of being older and perhaps lower my fear of an intimate relationship.
 
Beezer said:
Mom passed away this morning.

My Father was like Spock, and my Mother was Mary Poppins with her music. I've always felt this is why I come from an unconventional family. I think one day I'm going to write a play entitled...

"When Spock Met Mary Poppins"

It will be loosely written about their over 70 year loving relationship together. Who knows...maybe I'll garner a Tony award from it? :)
Click to expand...
316150-To-You-And-Your-Family-Thinking-Of-You-At-This-Difficult-Time.jpg
 

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