Seeking advice on a desired feral cat…

F

Fyrefox

Well-known Member
There is a homeless, pathetic gray feral cat that I’ve bonded with who comes twice a day to my doorstep, and will accept food that I put out as long as I don’t get too close to him. I’m not trying to enable his dependency, but my intent is to get him to a vet (he needs medical attention), and then adopt him. He’ll sleep for a time on my doorstep, and my two pampered house cats will interact with him in an accepting fashion.

While I am putting some meat on what had before been a living skeleton of a feline, he just won’t let me get closer than a few feet of him before running away. He’ll do the “slow eye blink” with me, and I’ve tried sitting down within a few feet of his food bowl, but then he stays away…

My relationship with “Ash” has only been for a few weeks so far. He’s suffered a tail amputation somewhere out in the wild. He’s just a young cat, probably under a year old. I doubt he’d survive winter in these parts. How can I get this poor guy to trust me, or is this a hopeless love affair without a future? Advice asked and welcomed! 🐈‍⬛
 

Last edited:
If you try trapping him only after a few weeks, he'll never trust you again.

It'll take time and patience to get a feral cat to trust you. Just keep talking softly to him, feed him at the same time every day and offer him some treats. Make sure he has a water dish. Feral cats do love treats. When feeding him, stay your distance, and keep talking softly. And make sure he has some type of bed to rest in. Can use a small blanket or even a towel too.

I have bonded with several feral cats using rotisserie chicken, cut up into bite size pieces. Some come close, rub my leg and want petted. Others stay their distance but will talk back to me when I talk to them. All are very healthy. When it's feeding time, all I have to do is whistle and say come on guys, and they all come running in.

All the cats I have in my home were feral cats but were captured when a couple months old. The newest addition is now 4 months old and get along well with my other 5 cats. Three are now 14 years old and two are now 3 years old.
 

We have been feeding some feral/stray cats since last winter, and they gradually have been getting used to us, but it has taken a long time. Around Christmas, we had a severe blizzard/winter storm, with temperatures around zero; so we put out some blankets in boxes on the porch along with food for the cats to shelter through the storm.

At first, they would only come up and eat at night when no one was going outside on the front porch, and gradually they started showing up in the day, looking for food. Now, several of them will take treats and are okay with seeing a person on the porch when they are there to eat and sleep.

One cat (my husband named her “Skinny”), had kittens early this spring, out in the brush between our house and the neighbor’s house. We had no idea she had kittens until we saw them out playing one day when they were about 3 months old. I started giving Skinny more milk, and then put out milk in a bowl for the kittens, who were totally frightened by the sight of any human.

Gradually, we moved the food bowl closer to the porch, and before too long, Skinny was bringing the kittens up on the porch to sleep at night and eat and play. They moved their home from the bushes to underneath our front porch.
At that point, we stopped feeding them at night, because of two reasons. We want the mother to teach them how to hunt for rodents, since there are a lot of empty fields and rodents around. Also, we want the kittens to learn to eat during the day when a person is outside, so they get used to people.

I started giving them little bits of bologna treats, and they are all now used to seeing me, and look for a treat when they see me outside. Skinny has taken over my lounge chair on the porch, and will let me walk right up to her when I have a treat.
Yesterday, I actually touched her when I gave her the bite of bologna. She still hissed at me, but only a little bit. All three kittens were on the porch, and stayed there , and were hoping for a treat, too.
Progress is slow, and I am sure that if we trapped them even now, it would traumatize them too much.

First picture is when we discovered them out in the bushes (zoomed in photo, I was not close to them at all), second one is just the other day, on the porch.
IMG_6804.jpegIMG_6793.jpeg
 
Last edited:
Fyrefox said:
There is a homeless, pathetic gray feral cat that I’ve bonded with who comes twice a day to my doorstep, and will accept food that I put out as long as I don’t get too close to him. I’m not trying to enable his dependency, but my intent is to get him to a vet (he needs medical attention), and then adopt him. He’ll sleep for a time on my doorstep, and my two pampered house cats will interact with him in an accepting fashion.

While I am putting some meat on what had before been a living skeleton of a feline, he just won’t let me get closer than a few feet of him before running away. He’ll do the “slow eye blink” with me, and I’ve tried sitting down within a few feet of his food bowl, but then he stays away…

My relationship with “Ash” has only been for a few weeks so far. He’s suffered a tail amputation somewhere out in the wild. He’s just a young cat, probably under a year old. I doubt he’d survive winter in these parts. How can I get this poor guy to trust me, or is this a hopeless love affair without a future? Advice asked and welcomed! 🐈‍⬛
Click to expand...
Don’t let him too near your indoor cats because he might carry disease or fleas the others can get. Fleas can jump quite far.

You have to feed him by hand. Put the wet food on your hand and wait for him to come over. Then pet him as he eats if he will tolerate that. If not, just let him eat then repeat the process.

Have a cat carrier or cage ready so you can pick him up by the scruff of his neck, thus immobilizing him, then put him in carrier for trip to the vet. If you have him well by the back of the neck, he will not try to scratch you. But don’t be shy. If he can slip out he will.

I have re-habbed a traumatized kitten and it can be a years-long project. Sometimes they will take years to feel safe around people. He might just feel safe around you and bolt every time he sees another person.

You also have to commit to making him an indoors-only cat. If you let him out again he might revert to the old habits of exploring and eating whatever. He can then pick up many fleas and ticks again, and even catch Feline Leukemia from other feral cats.

Facts About Feline Leukemia Virus
 
Happyflowerlady said:
We have been feeding some feral/stray cats since last winter, and they gradually have been getting used to us, but it has taken a long time. Around Christmas, we had a severe blizzard/winter storm, with temperatures around zero; so we put out some blankets in boxes on the porch along with food for the cats to shelter through the storm.

At first, they would only come up and eat at night when no one was going outside on the front porch, and gradually they started showing up in the day, looking for food. Now, several of them will take treats and are okay with seeing a person on the porch when they are there to eat and sleep.

One cat (my husband named her “Skinny”), had kittens early this spring, out in the brush between our house and the neighbor’s house. We had no idea she had kittens until we saw them out playing one day when they were about 3 months old. I started giving Skinny more milk, and then put out milk in a bowl for the kittens, who were totally frightened by the sight of any human.

Gradually, we moved the food bowl closer to the porch, and before too long, Skinny was bringing the kittens up on the porch to sleep at night and eat and play. They moved their home from the bushes to underneath our front porch.
At that point, we stopped feeding them at night, because of two reasons. We want the mother to teach them how to hunt for rodents, since there are a lot of empty fields and rodents around. Also, we want the kittens to learn to eat during the day when a person is outside, so they get used to people.

I started giving them little bits of bologna treats, and they are all now used to seeing me, and look for a treat when they see me outside. Skinny has taken over my lounge chair on the porch, and will let me walk right up to her when I have a treat.
Yesterday, I actually touched her when I gave her the bite of bologna. She still hissed at me, but only a little bit. All three kittens were on the porch, and stayed there , and were hoping for a treat, too.
Progress is slow, and I am sure that if we trapped them even now, it would traumatize them too much.

First picture is when we discovered them out in the bushes (zoomed in photo, I was not close to them at all), second one is just the other day, on the porch.
View attachment 358244View attachment 358245
Click to expand...
Kittens can get pregnant as early as 4 to 6 months old.

How Old Do Cats Have To Be To Get Pregnant? Vet-Reviewed Facts & FAQs | Hepper

This is why the most humane thing to do it trap them and have them altered. Then release them into the wild if that’s what you want to do.

Also, cows milk can and will give cats diarrhea. As long as they have teeth, dry cat food is fine, but it will also attract every other critter, like possums, to your yard.
 
Happyflowerlady said:
We have been feeding some feral/stray cats since last winter, and they gradually have been getting used to us, but it has taken a long time. Around Christmas, we had a severe blizzard/winter storm, with temperatures around zero; so we put out some blankets in boxes on the porch along with food for the cats to shelter through the storm.

At first, they would only come up and eat at night when no one was going outside on the front porch, and gradually they started showing up in the day, looking for food. Now, several of them will take treats and are okay with seeing a person on the porch when they are there to eat and sleep.

One cat (my husband named her “Skinny”), had kittens early this spring, out in the brush between our house and the neighbor’s house. We had no idea she had kittens until we saw them out playing one day when they were about 3 months old. I started giving Skinny more milk, and then put out milk in a bowl for the kittens, who were totally frightened by the sight of any human.

Gradually, we moved the food bowl closer to the porch, and before too long, Skinny was bringing the kittens up on the porch to sleep at night and eat and play. They moved their home from the bushes to underneath our front porch.
At that point, we stopped feeding them at night, because of two reasons. We want the mother to teach them how to hunt for rodents, since there are a lot of empty fields and rodents around. Also, we want the kittens to learn to eat during the day when a person is outside, so they get used to people.

I started giving them little bits of bologna treats, and they are all now used to seeing me, and look for a treat when they see me outside. Skinny has taken over my lounge chair on the porch, and will let me walk right up to her when I have a treat.
Yesterday, I actually touched her when I gave her the bite of bologna. She still hissed at me, but only a little bit. All three kittens were on the porch, and stayed there , and were hoping for a treat, too.
Progress is slow, and I am sure that if we trapped them even now, it would traumatize them too much.

First picture is when we discovered them out in the bushes (zoomed in photo, I was not close to them at all), second one is just the other day, on the porch.
View attachment 358244View attachment 358245
Click to expand...
HFL, please don't feed bologna. It practically nothing but fat and cats need Serious protein. Meats,
fish etc. I appreciate your good heart
with the cats.
 
Fyrefox said:
There is a homeless, pathetic gray feral cat that I’ve bonded with who comes twice a day to my doorstep, and will accept food that I put out as long as I don’t get too close to him. I’m not trying to enable his dependency, but my intent is to get him to a vet (he needs medical attention), and then adopt him. He’ll sleep for a time on my doorstep, and my two pampered house cats will interact with him in an accepting fashion.

While I am putting some meat on what had before been a living skeleton of a feline, he just won’t let me get closer than a few feet of him before running away. He’ll do the “slow eye blink” with me, and I’ve tried sitting down within a few feet of his food bowl, but then he stays away…

My relationship with “Ash” has only been for a few weeks so far. He’s suffered a tail amputation somewhere out in the wild. He’s just a young cat, probably under a year old. I doubt he’d survive winter in these parts. How can I get this poor guy to trust me, or is this a hopeless love affair without a future? Advice asked and welcomed! 🐈‍⬛
Click to expand...
I just talked to a neighbor lady yesterday, who said she had a feral cat living under her porch for almost a year now. She can feed him, and she has petted him at times very briefly, the cat won't go near her husband.

She said she called animal control about taking the cat in to see if he needed any medical attention. They told her if they found anything wrong with him, he wouldn't be returned to her, he'd be euthanized. She decided not to do anything. She put some hay under her porch so he could be warmer in winter. She wants to care for him, but getting a feral cat to trust you is a slow process, but not hopeless.

You're very kind to care about the cat, he will trust you in time I think.
 
RadishRose said:
HFL, please don't feed bologna. It practically nothing but fat and cats need Serious protein. Meats,
fish etc. I appreciate your good heart
with the cats.
Click to expand...
We are feeding the cats regular dry cat food, some canned cat food, and we put enough out that any of the feral cats who come by can have food.
The bologna is just a little bite as a treat, and in no way meant to be a nutrient source for the cats; but they enjoy it and it is helping them to learn to trust a human person. They see it as a treat and it motivates them to come closer to me to have the little nibble of lunch meat.
 
Happyflowerlady said:
We are feeding the cats regular dry cat food, some canned cat food, and we put enough out that any of the feral cats who come by can have food.
The bologna is just a little bite as a treat, and in no way meant to be a nutrient source for the cats; but they enjoy it and it is helping them to learn to trust a human person. They see it as a treat and it motivates them to come closer to me to have the little nibble of lunch meat.
Click to expand...
Thanks for explaining HFL! 🌹
 
We had a feral cat outside in our courtyard. I actually watched him grow up there and play with his mother. He grew up, she disappeared and he would come up to our glass door to look inside. I let him in quite a few times and he would lay back-to-back with our other male cats. We always fed him. We named him Marvin (for Starvin' Marvin).

Although he would come inside the house with our other cats, he would never let us touch him. We wanted to take him to the vet. One day we trapped him in the laundry room and when we tried to put him in the carrier he jumped all the way to the top of the cabinets where we couldn't reach him. Sadly, I finally gave up and was afraid he might give our indoor cats a disease. I no longer let him in but I fed him outside. I was working at the time and just didn't have the time to devote to turning him into an indoor cat.

When winter came, I put a cat box outside with blankets in it so he would have someplace warm to go to. He never used it and eventually disappeared. I still think about him to this day and wish I'd been more patient. Feral cats are just so difficult to home.
 
Lay down wherever you and the Fellow hang together. He will come to you. If he lets you pet him, he lets you pick him up in your hands and turn over and put him in a Cat cage. Being down on his level on the floor or whatever you guys hang on, deck, cement walk, whatever is how
to bring him inside. Let him loose, he will space out scat about, bounce off stuff and so you let him go outside free again. He may draw a lil of your blood but yell Yeow and he quickly learns to nip you instead. Later he will quit clawing you too, mostly then Next time it will be the same but his love lasts longer. He trusts you. U and him have bonded. It's the same when taking him to the vet, get down to his level always. Poore thing you now are. Vet bills, etc. haha. good for you!

It's sort of the same with your mostly wild colt. Apple, halter, let him loose in the corral and then lead him to the barn. He bonds and trust you. also the treat seals the deal. Never stand directly behind him though.
 
Last edited:
I live trapped a female cat during the winter when it strated showing up in an outside corner of my house trying to stay out of the wind. It was early January and the night time temps were -35. I couldn't just do nothing. She already had a frost bite mark on her nose which still exists today and will last for her life. The vet said she also had two broken front legs, probably from abuse, which are still deformed a little bit to this day.

Once she was in the trap, I took her straight to the vet who checked her out gave all the shots and spayed her. I brought her home after that and put her in a room by herself with food, water & a litter box. I would go into the room at night and watch TV. She hissed at me, ran away and hid; wanted nothing to do with me. That went on for about two or three weeks and I'd finally had it with her. Gave her a talking to and told her she'd better shape up and get with the program or I'd take her to the shelter.

Much to my surprise, about an hour later I looked down and there she was at my feet looking up at me as if to say; "OK, I give up." When she did finally allow me to touch her I was amazed at her coat. It's the softest, fluffiest cat fur I've ever felt. It's like petting a cloud.

She's been with me ever since and although she's no lap-cat she often follows me around and sleeps on my bed every night plus she patrols the back yard every day making sure no one's invading our territory. She'll still swat me with her claws or even bite me the odd time if I'm annoying her, which I tend to do from time to time, but I can tell she feels safe and she's happy and well fed.

Worked out well for both of us :love:

So YES, it's possible to make a lasting difference in an animal's life! May not work out evey time but you must try ... that's all you can do and see what happens. Nothing to lose & lots to potentially gain ;)
CatNap.jpg
 
Thank you for all of your good advice! I guess I'm not the only one to have fallen for a feral. I'll continue to try and be patient with him, since good things are worth waiting for.

Here is a picture of "Ash," who has a wonderful face and stunning eyes. I really want to save this one before he loses any more body parts... 🐈‍⬛

20240714_075808.jpg
 
Last edited:
Gemma said:
If you try trapping him only after a few weeks, he'll never trust you again.

It'll take time and patience to get a feral cat to trust you. Just keep talking softly to him, feed him at the same time every day and offer him some treats. Make sure he has a water dish. Feral cats do love treats. When feeding him, stay your distance, and keep talking softly. And make sure he has some type of bed to rest in. Can use a small blanket or even a towel too.

I have bonded with several feral cats using rotisserie chicken, cut up into bite size pieces. Some come close, rub my leg and want petted. Others stay their distance but will talk back to me when I talk to them. All are very healthy. When it's feeding time, all I have to do is whistle and say come on guys, and they all come running in.

All the cats I have in my home were feral cats but were captured when a couple months old. The newest addition is now 4 months old and get along well with my other 5 cats. Three are now 14 years old and two are now 3 years old.
Click to expand...
I agree with Gemma. If you try trapping this feral cat after only a few weeks you will lose the cats trust. Keep doing what you’re doing and sooner or later it will start trusting you.

You’ve got quite a bit of time before winter comes. Once autumn comes try and bring him in the house. Once indoors, trap him in a room and after a few hours bring a cat carrier in and get him in it. Maybe even put the treats in the carrier.

Once you get him inside, take him to the vets, have him looked at and bring him home. The vet will probably give you parasite medicine. Keep all other animals away from the cat until he’s finished all the medicine.

Give the cat his own box with his own blanket. Seeing as your other cats are all ferel cats they will probably let him know that you are ok and to be trusted. Having cats you must know they communicate with each other.

We had one ferel cat for 18 years. She was rhe best cat ever. We lost her last September.

IMG_2817.jpeg
So can we now call you the crazy cat lady?
I’m totally kidding. Bless your heart for giving all these cats a warm and loving home.

Sorry Gemma. I got you mixed up with the OP FyreFox.
 
Fyrefox said:
Thank you for all of your good advice! I guess I'm not the only one to have fallen for a feral. I'll continue to try and be patient with him, since good things are worth waiting for.

Here is a picture of "Ash," who has a wonderful face and stunning eyes. I really want to save this one before he loses any more body parts... 🐈‍⬛

View attachment 358529
Click to expand...
Sorry FyreFox,
While writing my answer I got my info mixed up . I wish you the best in getting this cat. It looks just like our cat minus the missing tail.
Our cat was grey with green eyes. She was called Smokey and was a ferel cat. We had her for 18 years.
 
Last edited:
I don't know a lot about cats but I would handle it the same way I handled dogs. Carrrier with food and water. Lots of old bedding but make sure you have laid on it or draped it on your neck /shoulders to get your scent on it.

Put it on a quiet spot outside. Somewhere you can go sit outside many feet away but close enough the cat can see you. Go slow, wait a week or longer to speak soft and low to the cat. Let it get comfortable with your presence.

As time progresses take little treats out to toss to the cat, cooked chicken, sardines, etc. He will start to trust over time. He will make the move when he is ready. When he comes to you to take a treat from you, don't pet yet. Soon he will lay at your feet to see what you have, don't pet, just soft words.

When he makes the move to rub up against your legs or hands He is ready to accept physical touch in my mind. That is what I would do for quite a while before I tried to pick him up. Keep a carrier in the car, then when you can pick him up to the car and carrier and straight to the vet.
 
My desire to save this feral cat comes from a previous feral cat that I was able to domesticate years ago. He was in terrible shape when he first appeared to me, bleeding from a tail amputation, and so emaciated that you could count his ribs. I fed him and he returned day after day, finally allowing me to pet and then cage him for vet transport, but not before he had also lost a piece of his ear in a fight! “Lucky” as I called him gave me many wonderful, loving years after that…

…so I’m hoping that history repeats itself! 🐈
 
Call local humane society and see where you can get a live trap. Should be free, they may ask for a deposit. It's hard doing this on your own when not experienced with trapping. I could not get the one grey one at work. I haven't seen him in 3 days either. Food left. This has happened before for longer.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top