Senior Views on Spanking - Were You Spanked, Did You Spank Your Kids?

I got more spankings in school than I did at home. At home, my dad spanked me twice. He always tried "reasoning" with me first and then if that didn't work, he would slap me across the butt twice. I probably got the paddle in school 6 or 7 times. I was what we called a Hellian back in in those days. It took me awhile, but I finally did get the message.

I had just finished ninth grade when my dad took me aside and told me that I would be leaving home in two weeks. I asked him where were 'we' going? He said 'we' aren't going anywhere, but you are going to military school. You need to learn a few things and I don't seem to be getting it through to you, so maybe some more stricter discipline with a regimented lifestyle will cure what's wrong with you.

So, I spent two years there and really enjoyed myself. I should have stayed for my senior year. It would have changed my life forever, but I was too dumb at the time to realize it. One of my regrets in life.
 

Yes I was spanked. My mother used a wooden paddle and my father used a belt. They didn't have to use it often. But even once is too much. Anything more than a smack across the bottom with an open hand is too much. I didn't spank my daughter except one time with an open hand and I felt so awful I never did it again.
 
win231 said:
Another popular excuse frequently used by some "parents" is: "If I don't raise 'em right, they'll grow up to be criminals, drug dealers, drug addicts, etc." They are really stupid; many kids who were hit grow up to be exactly that. They have low self esteem & a lot of rage.

I was watching an interview with Jeffrey Dahmer's father on "60 Minutes" (after Jeffrey was beaten to death in prison). The reporter asked him if there was anything in his son's upbringing that might have contributed to his son's violent & perverted behavior.
His father said, "Oh, no. Whenever Jeffrey misbehaved, I spanked him real good."

I don't know what state allows beating school children, but if that happened to any kids of mine, the next day's headlines would read something like: "Teacher found dead with 2x4 in his throat & large bullet in his head. Father arrested.
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All the addicts I've known said they were treated that way.

Plenty of states still allow it, but the one I was referring to was (misspelling intentional) Lousiana. Which, the last I noticed, had the highest incarceration rate in the USA. Maybe instead of bragging about how 'tough' they are on crime, they and similar states with high incarceration rates and high rates of executions should start to examine why they have so much of it.
 

Aneeda72 said:
He would strip your clothes off you? Beat you when you were naked? How old were you? What did he hit you with?
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Not completely naked. It started when I was 5 years old in 1965 when we moved to Canada. Heā€™d pull my pants down, bend me over his knee and smack me with his bare hand. It wasnā€™t a slap or two. It would go on until I struggled to get away and turn out to be a struggle between us. The pants around my ankles usually ended off me but this continued into my teens which was most inappropriate. The fact that he was getting off on it sickened me so after having a broken tailbone at 16, I left. That was ā€˜moreā€™ hurtful than the physical abuse. He hit me with his hand which is how he broke it. Like a said, he was built like an ox. Slaps became more like punches.
I was never hit with anything else. The mental head games were far worst than any physical abuse. Some things canā€™t be brushed under the carpet when thereā€™s medical records as proof.
Thatā€™s all I wish to say about this topic.
 
Keesha said:
Not completely naked. It started when I was 5 years old in 1965 when we moved to Canada. Heā€™d pull my pants down, bend me over his knee and smack me with his bare hand. It wasnā€™t a slap or two. It would go on until I struggled to get away and turn out to be a struggle between us. The pants around my ankles usually ended off me but this continued into my teens which was most inappropriate. The fact that he was getting off on it sickened me so after having a broken tailbone at 16, I left. That was ā€˜moreā€™ hurtful than the physical abuse. He hit me with his hand which is how he broke it. Like a said, he was built like an ox. Slaps became more like punches.
I was never hit with anything else. The mental head games were far worst than any physical abuse. Some things canā€™t be brushed under the carpet when thereā€™s medical records as proof.
Thatā€™s all I wish to say about this topic.
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Pulling down outside pants, yup, cause they donā€™t want the cushion of fabric to soften the blows, pulling down underpants, was done on younger child so the skin would sting. My outside pants were sometimes pulled down but not very often, she was too enraged to hold off on the hitting to take this step, which wasnā€™t done as I got older.

Doing either, to older children, was a type of humiliation. (I know you, know this, writing this for others who might not.) It wasnā€™t considered a ā€œsexā€ thing as some might assume.

I was abused, as you know, till I was thrown out at 17.
 
Aneeda72 said:
Doing either, to older children, was a type of humiliation. (I know you, know this, writing this for others who might not.) It wasnā€™t considered a ā€œsexā€ thing as some might assume.

I was abused, as you know, till I was thrown out at 17.
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As a small child, having a huge man chasing me around to beat me was terrifying in itself and became a regular occurrence which they turned into a norm. Whenever my mom was either mad at me or my father, the end result would be the same.

As I got older, it was beyond humiliating and NO Anneda, I most certainly considered it sexual. My father ā€˜got offā€™ on doing this. He couldnā€™t deny this. His body didnā€™t lie , if you get my drift. THAT in itself really messed me up as well as other inappropriate things.

My mom never hit me that I remember. The abuse from her was emotional and mental abuse which at times was far worse than physical abuse. She knew what was going on and did nothing.

When we drove to California when I was 12 for a business trip my dad was on and mom flew back home after 2 weeks , I was left with my dad. The very night my mom left, my dad took complete advantage of the situation and we stayed there for 6 more weeks.

When I finally got the nerve to tell my mom, I was called a liar and for the rest of my life was deemed a home wrecker by them both. Meanwhile I was 12. I had no idea what sex was or what she was talking about until I got older and this shaming became a family theme. This was apparently why I was disinherited.

My mind was fragmenting to save itself so I HAD to leave at 16. I did however get a job and managed to support myself while still staying in school for which Iā€™m proud of.

Iā€™ve been very reluctant to share this but this really happened and had a huge impact on my life.
 
Keesha said:
As a small child, having a huge man chasing me around to beat me was terrifying in itself and became a regular occurrence which they turned into a norm. Whenever my mom was either mad at me or my father, the end result would be the same.

As I got older, it was beyond humiliating and NO Anneda, I most certainly considered it sexual. My father ā€˜got offā€™ on doing this. He couldnā€™t deny this. His body didnā€™t lie , if you get my drift. THAT in itself really messed me up as well as other inappropriate things.

My mom never hit me that I remember. The abuse from her was emotional and mental abuse which at times was far worse than physical abuse. She knew what was going on and did nothing.

When we drove to California when I was 12 for a business trip my dad was on and mom flew back home after 2 weeks , I was left with my dad. The very night my mom left, my dad took complete advantage of the situation and we stayed there for 6 more weeks.

When I finally got the nerve to tell my mom, I was called a liar and for the rest of my life was deemed a home wrecker by them both. Meanwhile I was 12. I had no idea what sex was or what she was talking about until I got older and this shaming became a family theme. This was apparently why I was disinherited.

My mind was fragmenting to save itself so I HAD to leave at 16. I did however get a job and managed to support myself while still staying in school for which Iā€™m proud of.

Iā€™ve been very reluctant to share this but this really happened and had a huge impact on my life.
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I was speaking in general terms about the ā€œsexā€ thing, you had shared this with me in the past. It was never sexual with me. Dad did not spank, he hit. But I remember once, when my brother had chased me up the tree, my favorite get away spot, my dad wanted me down. Once up it would be hours before I came down.

It was once of the few times he was angered at my brother, who was untouchable. Dad chased him around the house in an effort to punish him, but could never catch him. However, according to my half sister, he molested his daughters, my half sisters, in his old age. He was a baptist
preacher at the time.

Him, a preacher, so hard to imagine.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I was speaking in general terms about the ā€œsexā€ thing, you had shared this with me in the past. It was never sexual with me. Dad did not spank, he hit. But I remember once, when my brother had chased me up the tree, my favorite get away spot, my dad wanted me down. Once up it would be hours before I came down.

It was once of the few times he was angered at my brother, who was untouchable. Dad chased him around the house in an effort to punish him, but could never catch him. However, according to my half sister, he molested his daughters, my half sisters, in his old age. He was a baptist
preacher at the time.

Him, a preacher, so hard to imagine.
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So there was a golden boy in your family too who wasnā€™t touched. This is quite common also when you start looking into the family dynamics of dysfunctional families. The golden kid gets put on a pedestal and the one abused the most becomes the family scapegoat. Unfortunately itā€™s more common than most people think and most cringe when these types of things are brought up in conversation.

Hard to imagine a preacher doing this type of thing? Sorry but NO itā€™s not. Nothing surprises me.
Sorry you had to endure this type of abuse. šŸ¤—
 
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I'm sorry to read about your experiences, Keesha and Aneeda.

My eldest half-sister, who is 10 yrs. older than me, was the scapegoat of the family after her older brother was beaten and kicked out of the house by my father. She was constantly beaten around the head, and has loss of hearing in one ear.

Horrible as it was, not near as extreme as the abuses you two have been through.

It takes courage to write about the reality of life. Not everyone has a happy upbringing.
 
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Some dreadful tales on here , so sorry for those who were cruelly mistreated .
I was smacked a few times by my mother to let me know I'd overstepped the mark . My father never actually smacked me , but the threat was enough . Never could understand why mother always told me prior to administering said punishment '' this is going to hurt me more than you '' šŸ˜µ
Had the '' gym slipper '' used on me a few times at school :(
 
Aneeda72 said:
I was speaking in general terms about the ā€œsexā€ thing, you had shared this with me in the past. It was never sexual with me. Dad did not spank, he hit. But I remember once, when my brother had chased me up the tree, my favorite get away spot, my dad wanted me down. Once up it would be hours before I came down.

It was once of the few times he was angered at my brother, who was untouchable. Dad chased him around the house in an effort to punish him, but could never catch him. However, according to my half sister, he molested his daughters, my half sisters, in his old age. He was a baptist
preacher at the time.

Him, a preacher, so hard to imagine.
Click to expand...
Often, such perverts are religious figures to gain people's respect & compensate for their perversion. Some are police officers for the same reason. They are satisfying both their sexual perversion and their need to dominate & control.
 
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Whatā€™s sad is thatā€™s itā€™s not socially acceptable to discuss such things. People know that these things happen but you arenā€™t supposed to talk about them. Itā€™s not nice . Itā€™s not pretty and it makes others uncomfortable. It comes across as disloyalty to family, desperate for attention or the need to cause drama.

What you should do is get ā€˜helpā€™ from professionals so you never unravel or feel the need to share your burdens or experiences. Either do that or stuff it down as in ā€˜suck it up buttercup.ā€™

It is ugly and not something anyone wants to read about but these things happen to people everywhere including the strict religious.

People are supposed to share the standard stuff so everyone is comfortable. Add some pretty flowers šŸŒø plenty of hearts ā¤ļøsugar and spice and everything nice. Make all efforts to blend in.
If you donā€™t, we will avoid you like the plague.

I suppose my version of ā€˜spanking ā€˜ doesnā€™t belong in this thread but I refuse to say sorry for making anyone feel uncomfortable.
 
Keesha said:
So there was a golden boy in your family too who wasnā€™t touched. This is quite common also when you start looking into the family dynamics of dysfunctional families. The golden kid gets put on a pedestal and the one abused the most becomes the family scapegoat. Unfortunately itā€™s more common than most people think and most cringe when these types of things are brought up in conversation.

Hard to imagine a preacher doing this type of thing? Sorry but NO itā€™s not. Nothing surprises me.
Sorry you had to endure this type of abuse. šŸ¤—
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I meant hard to imagine my dad became a preacher. Previously he was a VP at a major aircraft manufacturer and had connections, according to family, to the ā€œmobā€. He never paid for a room in Las Vegas šŸ˜‚. They went there every weekend.
 
Keesha said:
Whatā€™s sad is thatā€™s itā€™s not socially acceptable to discuss such things. People know that these things happen but you arenā€™t supposed to talk about them. Itā€™s not nice . Itā€™s not pretty and it makes others uncomfortable. It comes across as disloyalty to family, desperate for attention or the need to cause drama.

What you should do is get ā€˜helpā€™ from professionals so you never unravel or feel the need to share your burdens or experiences. Either do that or stuff it down as in ā€˜suck it up buttercup.ā€™

It is ugly and not something anyone wants to read about but these things happen to people everywhere including the strict religious.

People are supposed to share the standard stuff so everyone is comfortable. Add some pretty flowers šŸŒø plenty of hearts ā¤sugar and spice and everything nice. Make all efforts to blend in.
If you donā€™t, we will avoid you like the plague.

I suppose my version of ā€˜spanking ā€˜ doesnā€™t belong in this thread but I refuse to say sorry for making anyone feel uncomfortable.
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I've learned in my 67 years, that the truth is the best policy; even when it's an ugly truth that involves family. Yes, it may make some people uncomfortable, but others will learn from it.
I hide nothing about my family from anyone & a few people are shocked & don't want to believe, but that's their problem; not mine. I prefer reality. When the truth is covered up, bad things continue to happen.
 
We were "switched". Mom alternated between a switch, a flyswatter and a yardstick.....whatever was at hand.

If she rang the dinner bell (we were NEVER supposed to get beyond sound of the dinner bell) and we didn't come running within a reasonable amount of time (and reasonable depended on her mood at the time), she'd come looking loaded for bear, switch/flyswatter/yardstick in hand. The secret was to stay far enough ahead of her that only a few whacks landed, but not TOO far so that she couldn't get a few licks in. She never hit hard, though, just a flick or two.

Dad, on the other hand, threatened but almost never came through with it. He'd threaten the belt, sometimes getting as far as beginning to unbuckle it. Just the mention of the belt would usually engender an attitude change in the offending child (we were pretty gullible). The only time I remember actually getting the belt was on Father's Day when I got mad at him and threw a rock at him (it connected). I'm pretty sure I deserved it.
 
jujube said:
We were "switched". Mom alternated between a switch, a flyswatter and a yardstick.....whatever was at hand.

If she rang the dinner bell (we were NEVER supposed to get beyond sound of the dinner bell) and we didn't come running within a reasonable amount of time (and reasonable depended on her mood at the time), she'd come looking loaded for bear, switch/flyswatter/yardstick in hand. The secret was to stay far enough ahead of her that only a few whacks landed, but not TOO far so that she couldn't get a few licks in. She never hit hard, though, just a flick or two.

Dad, on the other hand, threatened but almost never came through with it. He'd threaten the belt, sometimes getting as far as beginning to unbuckle it. Just the mention of the belt would usually engender an attitude change in the offending child (we were pretty gullible). The only time I remember actually getting the belt was on Father's Day when I got mad at him and threw a rock at him (it connected). I'm pretty sure I deserved it.
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When kids kill their parents, there is often a good reason.
Everyone who knows me says, "I'm the nicest guy they've ever met." I came close to killing my mom a couple of times. If I had, she would have certainly had it coming. You can only get away with tormenting someone for so long.
Some parents think they have the right to do anything they want to their kids. Some learn the hard way that they can't.
 
win231 said:
When kids kill their parents, there is often a good reason.
Everyone who knows me says, "I'm the nicest guy they've ever met." I came close to killing my mom a couple of times. If I had, she would have certainly had it coming. You can only get away with tormenting someone for so long.
Some parents think they have the right to do anything they want to their kids. Some learn the hard way that they can't.
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Exactly! I was 17, just graduated from HS, when she knocked me down on the floor, went and got the belt, and told my older brother to whip me. He refused. She took the belt and went to whip me. I told her if she did itā€™d be the last time she did anything.

She said since I was going to see my grandma, donā€™t bother to come back. I didnā€™t. I ended up living at the Salvation home for young woman in LA, CA. I much later realized she wanted me out of the house because she was getting remarried. šŸ™„
 
win231 said:
Often, such perverts are religious figures to gain people's respect & compensate for their perversion. Some are police officers for the same reason. They are satisfying both their sexual perversion and their need to dominate & control.
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Marlo Thomas starred in a true-story move - "Ultimate Betrayal." The church-going, bible-thumping, well-respected police officer father was the abuser - both physical & sexual. He'd take his young daughters downstairs & rape them frequently. The "mother" pretended she didn't know what was happening - even when she witnessed it. As frequently happens, having a man is more important than her children's safety.
What was interesting was that the 3 daughters later sued their father. Of course, everyone who knew him found it hard to believe.

Reminded me of my mother; everyone who thought they knew her found her very charming & loving....and she was - to everyone except her family. These individuals know how to put on two faces.
 
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well here goes, my mother and father were married because my mother was pregnant, as hitler was bombing Birmingham [where they both worked] it was decided that mother should go home. so i was born and brought up in Scotland, now mother never went back south. so i was brought up with my grandparents, my grandfather worshipped me and lifted me out of bed and carried me downstairs where my breakfast waited for me by the warm fire.... then when i was nine my mum and dad decided to play happy families, so we moved about six miles away to what seemed like a different country, at my new school everyone had a completely different accent, six miles and we had moved back a hundred years.... my mother was an invalid so father got me up for school the first day, there were two cups of tea on the kitchen table so i asked if the one closest to me was mine, he hit me with a backhander that knocked me into the corner of the room, he then lifted his cup and went into the sitting room, that was the first time i had been hit by an adult in my life, i got up and scuttled out the door off to school... basically i was battered by my father, punched and kicked, one instance, during the Queen coronation we all had little flags on a stick, my father threw me onto the bed ripped my trousers and pants down, rolled the flag up and gave me six on the bare bottom, for a number of days it was difficult to even sit... when my young brother was born he made a point of telling me that as he was raising him, he would be twice the man i was... we were certainly different, i can never remember my father ever striking my brother [who incidentally was incarcerated in ever prison in the UK at different times from borstal to Strangeways]... he hated me [and i speak highly of him] i havent seen my father since my mother died when i was 21... i know my brother died during an operation, i have no idea, nor do i care where my father ended up
 
I've documented my seriously abusive childhood here before... no need for me to do it again..

It's upsetting for me, as well as readers, ...some might find it even tedious.. (in that same manner keesha mentioned about sucking it up.. that it was long ago, get over it ..type of attitude, said or unsaid, it's in the air)... but we never get over it.. we can't we're damaged !! no-one repaired us little victims of serious abuse ..they couldn't.
 
i have one son, and if you ask him he will tell you yes i used to batter him..lol
in fact i have never hit him in his life, and threatened his mother about raising her hand to him
what i did was put him face down on my easy chair and batter the arm of the chair with my slipper
he squealed his head off, but no, not even nearly...
 

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