Seniors Who May Be Alone Near the End of Life, Do You Have Some Fears?

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
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USA
Since we don't have children, or any close family near to us, I sometimes think of what would happen if my husband or myself would die, and the other was left on their own. I can only hope for physical old-age disabilities, because mental ones, like Alzheimer's, would cause a problem for either of us if alone.

I know that many people pass on while living alone in their golden years. Sometimes they are discovered by a neighbor or friend, and sometimes they make it to the hospital and pass on there. Someone living has to see who their next of kin is, etc.

I really don't obsess over it, but the thought certainly does cross my mind.

I really fear not being able to think for myself, or have my husband alone in that state. Do any seniors here thing about being alone when they need real care or are in the process of passing on?
 

I have thought of it and should I lose my wife and survive or vice-versa I don't know what would happen. I honestly try not to think those dark (but very real) thoughts.
 
I try not to think about them too much Jim, but when I do I don't know which survivor I'd feel more sorry for, me or hubby. We're both very close to each other and would be devastated for sure of loss of the other. I can only hope that either of us will be strong enough to move forward and not have any debilitating mental issues to stand in the way.
 

SeaBreeze said:
Since we don't have children, or any close family near to us, I sometimes think of what would happen if my husband or myself would die, and the other was left on their own. I can only hope for physical old-age disabilities, because mental ones, like Alzheimer's, would cause a problem for either of us if alone. I know that many people pass on while living alone in their golden years. Sometimes they are discovered by a neighbor or friend, and sometimes they make it to the hospital and pass on there. Someone living has to see who their next of kin is, etc.I really don't obsess over it, but the thought certainly does cross my mind.I really fear not being able to think for myself, or have my husband alone in that state. Do any seniors here thing about being alone when they need real care or are in the process of passing on?
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Yes, I've thought about it since my husband passed away over 4 yeas ago and like you, SB, I fear getting sick and being alone without anyone to even bring you a drink of water if you needed it, I have recently made a decision to give my granddaughter and her family enough land to build close to me, they have always wanted to live in the country and I will have help near by, so hopefully it will be a win win for all.
 
I live alone with my dog. I have no fear of dying - it's inevitable.

I do have my neighbours, who may be concerned if they didn't see me go out to my letterbox. I also volunteer a couple of times a week at a charity shop - I guess they would wonder where I was if I didn't turn up.

No family living close by and phone calls are only once every couple of weeks.

It's not something I worry about though. Once I'm dead, it wouldn't be anything to worry about would it?
 
I would be awful for someone to be alone and sick without anyone to help. There is an organization here that provides isolated seniors with regular security calls by volunteers to check on them. I'm one of the volunteers and I phone an elderly lady every couple of days to see how she's doing and chat. She's still pretty spry and sometimes she is out shopping when I call.

I live alone but my son lives close by and we speak on the phone frequently, if I needed help he would be there quickly. But it's true, you never know when an an emergency might arise, so a plan should be in place.
 
During a couple crises I wondered, if I did not survive, how long before my body would be found...weeks, months? My situation is rather different now though.
 
"Seniors Who May Be Alone Near the End of Life, Do You Have Some Fears?"

Yes. I try to often picture Forrest's face when his Mother told him, "Dying's just a part of living". imp
 
Here where I live the police have a program where after you sign up you receive a phone call every day. If you fail to answer and haven't notified them you would be gone that day, they come out to check. I also have a special lockbox near the front door so they can come in.
 
My sisters and I DO have offspring but we don't entertain any notion that there will be any help in our old age coming from that direction. I'd probably be dead three months before my daughter would call and find out, one sister says that her daughter would probably ask her not to die on a weekend because it would seriously impact their entertainment plans and the other one is pretty sure it would take at least a month to find out where her son is attending a concert.
 
When my time comes I only hope it's quick and I'm around people. I don't care if it's at a restaurant, friend/relative's house, or in the checkout line at Kroger. (I try to keep my "in case of" card in my wallet current.) Those stories about someone's neighbor or landlord finding them after several days are so sad. :(
 
jujube said:
My sisters and I DO have offspring but we don't entertain any notion that there will be any help in our old age coming from that direction. I'd probably be dead three months before my daughter would call and find out, one sister says that her daughter would probably ask her not to die on a weekend because it would seriously impact their entertainment plans and the other one is pretty sure it would take at least a month to find out where her son is attending a concert.
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Same exact attitudes exist in my family. I gotta ask, always, how do adult children become so uncaring? Is it related to the means employed during their upbringing? imp
 
Re: what jujube and imp said - and often those same people are the first ones trying to find their names on insurance policies or trying to find a Will.:rolleyes: :mad:
 
Re uncaring adult children. Sometimes the reasons are obvious, abusive, alcoholic, hugely dysfunctional etc. families of origin, tend to produce offspring with issues around bonding with others. However, sometimes good parenting does not produce caring offspring. Some
people are self-referential to the max, living in their own little entitled world--parents are discarded when no longer needed. They never see their parents as people, merely worn-out paper dolls, living beyond their expiry date. Sad. Usually, they pass on this value system to their own children, and end their lives forgotten and alone.
 
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That is very sad, Kadee. Hopefully she passed very quickly. My son laid on his kitchen floor for three days before he was found. I still agonize over this...wondering how long before death he laid there and if he suffered.
 
ndynt said:
That is very sad, Kadee. Hopefully she passed very quickly. My son laid on his kitchen floor for three days before he was found. I still agonize over this...wondering how long before death he laid there and if he suffered.
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OMG (((nona)))...you've suffered every parents' worst nightmare....oooh jeez, I'm so sorry to hear that, regardless of the fact that you were not to blame, I would imagine you could never ever get the pain of that from your mind, probably blaming yourself...... :(:( May I ask how old he was ?
 
ndynt said:
That is very sad, Kadee. Hopefully she passed very quickly. My son laid on his kitchen floor for three days before he was found. I still agonize over this...wondering how long before death he laid there and if he suffered.
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Nona, that is so sad. You've been through a lot. I'm glad you share so much of your life with us.
 
I live with my almost 6 yr. old dog and 6 year old parakeet. I was at a get together in front of the apartments last night and one of the guys there was talking about how he hadn't called anyone one day and that quite a few of his neighbors called to see if he was okay. I was happy for him but at the same time sad that no one does that for me here. I have brothers and a sister still alive and they don't call. One does email me occasionally. I even asked one brother what have I done to you that is so horrible that you don't contact me? He said it's not me, it's because he just doesn't contact hardly anyone. Maybe I should try and make a friend or two here who would call me or expect a call from me every day or two.
 
ndynt said:
That is very sad, Kadee. Hopefully she passed very quickly. My son laid on his kitchen floor for three days before he was found. I still agonize over this...wondering how long before death he laid there and if he suffered.
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Sorry to hear about your son , Ndynt , I could never start to imagine how hard it would be to loose a child, even tho he was an adult he was still your child ! SF is a great place to be, it's good to have you here as well ,there are nice sharing, caring members on hand to offer many of us advise or to share your thoughts with :)
 

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