I’ve been aware that I’ve been dreaming a lot lately, yet when I wake, I only have a faint grasp of what the dream was about. Any reflection quickly fades away -- which is unusual for me, as I used to have vivid memorable dreams. I recently read that stress and or anxiety can cause dreams to be forgotten almost immediately, as the mind shifts focus to the waking world rather than the sleeping one.
Anyway, here’s the last dream I can recall:
I entered a long dark road tunnel. There was something I needed to reach on the other side, though I wasn’t sure what the urgency was or why I needed to be there. This part of the dream reminded me of driving through the Gotthard Road Tunnel -- a tunnel that’s 10.5 miles long.
Street View · Google Maps
Within the dream, I sensed that it was warm inside the tunnel, but not in an unpleasant way. Water was running down one side of the interior of the tunnel and onto the road, but I didn’t feel overly concerned -- I felt safe enough inside the tunnel with the water.
Then I drove out of the tunnel into a small town. There’s some reality to this, as I had driven past this town before, though never stopped. In the dream I stopped and walked around. It felt like the afternoon. I saw a group of five people and walked up to them. I recognised one -- a girlfriend from about 20 years ago. She still looked the same age as she did back then. Then suddenly I realised I was 20 years younger too.
There was some trepidation on my part, wondering how this past girlfriend might react, since in reality our relationship hadn’t ended well. Partly due to a combination of bipolar disorder, PTSD, and some other issues -- but I won’t go too deeply into that. We all got talking, and soon after, her friends left, leaving just me and her. I started to get the impression that she hadn’t recognised me, but somehow I felt she was curious about something.
She then invited me back to her apartment. The apartment was bright inside, but strangely it had no windows. It was amazingly colourful inside too, filled with things she had made. She showed me some of them and seemed quite proud of what she had made. On one wall, there was a large bookcase, with some books forced in horizontally where space allowed.
I still got the impression she hadn't recognised me, but then that feeling changed slightly, as I thought she was now starting to recognise me, but she wasn't entirely sure. I got the impression that she recognised 'something' but not my face. I didn't let her know who i was, it didn't seem like the right thing to do somehow. I didn't let her know that I knew who she was -- it didn’t feel like the right thing to do somehow. Nor did I reveal that I knew who she was. I was just happy to see that she seemed happy. So yes, I still have a soft spot for this person.
Then it seemed to me that her sense of who I was was growing stronger, but she didn’t want to ask outright -- maybe out of fear of something. Perhaps she feared that revealing who she was might change how I reacted at that moment. But of course, I already knew exactly who I was talking to.
Then the feeling within the dream shifted again. It felt like we both knew and recognised each other -- and each of us was aware that the other knew. There was a kind of mutual understanding that this recognition needed to be kept safe, unspoken. We were simply happy in each other’s company, with things as they were at that moment in the dream. Both the imagery and thoughts and feelings within the dream were quite vivid. A kind of quiet private respect for each other's boundaries. Something that felt quite complex.
She then announced that she had some errands to do and would be leaving the apartment soon. We both got up and walked to the door, and that’s where the dream ended. For the next three days, I genuinely felt uplifted. The memory of the dream stayed with me, along with the thought of someone I once knew feeling happy and safe.
A short clip of the town that I have only ever driven past, but stayed for a while in my dream: