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Something my daughter in law said in passing one night. That my son wasn't so into children because he had to take care of his brothers and sisters too much. My goodness me, it wasn't because I had a crack habit. Those years I was working full time and going to college nights and weekends, his Dad was working two jobs as well...but they feel we weren't there for them jeez, we did what we could.
Why do some children think they are " owed " just because they helped out with chores / baby sitting, we all did it I was the eldest of 9 ..mind you I never had allot of time for them ( the B/S's ) as adults ..
 

Parents of adolescents understand why some animals eat their young.
That's right jujube. Also I was thinking of all the work involved in taking care of babies and little kids, that was harder for me then the teen years. I had 4 kids in 9 years and I was barely 16 when I had the first. But that was my choice. My husband, bless his heart, worked hard and took care of our family well, but he was one who didn't change diapers, feed, bathe or dress the kids, nothing like that. He thought bringing home the bacon , fixing the car, doing home repairs, was his job and you know, a lot of men in that generation felt that way. Now he folds cloths, has learned how to make a sandwich or heat up a bowl of chili, put his dirty dishes in the sink and he can even reach into his closet and take out a clean shirt! Yes he can!! I appreciate all he does now but I wish he'd done it before it was just the 2 of us living at home.
 

I wonder if I am in a minority among women as I did not like being pregnant or child birth. If a movie or TV show comes on with an impending birth, I leave the room. I skip over that part in books too.

I didn't like being pregnant either and was pretty traumatized by childbirth even though coached and well read about it. I never had more children after my first. I loved my child but could not imagine going through that again.

Strangely enough having said that, I did spontaneously burst into emotional tears when I viewed a live birth on television about 10 or more years later! It came over me so swiftly. Not sure to this day, why.

Afterward, I found I had difficulty watching women agonizing in labor in TV or film and will also avoid watching.




Dry
 
Nope Zante, opting not to have children is an unselfish act IMO ..I get fed up hearing society calling it 'selfish' when a woman chooses not to reproduce !

My own daughter and s-i-l are the most caring people you can imagine when it comes to animals. They care deeply for their own, and their life's work is caring for other peoples' animals..but children..no!! Not that they dislike them, they like other people's well enough, but it's not something they would choose for themselves, and it takes strength of character and emotional intelligence to know if one is suited to being a parent and to take make what you know will be the right decision for you, and one you won't regret!!
 
From a man's point of view, having children is not always quite as beautiful as they portray it on television. The picture of both parents hugging their cherished child, smiling, warm and snug in a pastel nursery...

Hey, the delivery of a baby is yucky! I know this from first hand having delivered my own daughter in the absence of any medical folk. Nobody talks about the afterbirth.

It is so lovely seeing a baby feeding in the loving arms of a mother. Even us men are besotted by that. But where the hell does all of that stuff from the other end come from? You put pure white milk in between those gorgeous pink lips, and a stinking slime from hell comes out at two o'clock in the morning.

Ladies, bless their hearts, change when they have their first baby. They instantly change from sexy fun-loving girls to devoted nannies. Fathers are never warned that the mothers attention, formerly one hundred percent towards them, is now down to about ten percent - baby comes first. They introduce new phrases into their everyday language - 'Sssh, you'll wake the baby.', or 'No, dear, I can't go out tonight, I have to look after ...' or worse still, 'Not tonight, dear, I have a headache.'

...
and please don't expect us to agree with somebody looking in the crib and saying, 'Oooh, he does have your mothers' eyes, doesn't he.' He doesn't. He looks like Winston Churchill..!

When a child is born into a marriage, the man accepts that for the next sixteen years, he has been 'down-graded' to secondary importance. The lithe, fun-loving and sexy girl he had married is now the maternal and mature lady of the house. The man has to quickly adapt. There are no more Sunday lay ins, no more impetuous midnight Chinese meals, no more impulsive decisions. He has to get used to baby-sitter meetings, weary trips to the Health Centre, and hours to waiting in a supermarket carpark as two prams and two mothers compare notes.

I shall now put on my tin helmet, and wait for the stones to be thrown.....

:playful:
 


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