Should a guardian spare the rod?

W

whisteria

Member
Evening playmates,
A bit of a more serious topic tonight for your thoughts to be shared,

Here in france it's summer time and this time of the year onwards we have alot of holiday people coming over, ie the uk and holland are a few of the countries that seem to have a lot of people coming here every summer,

This afternoon i was in the local french supermarket and i heard this young lad (aprox 9yrs of age) and the way he spoke to his mother "guardian" was really bad
not only did he use very bad language but he said to a french cashier "what are you looking at "froggy"

I really did feel ashamed to be british and listening to this going on,

I was bought up by a father that didnt spare the belt "but ' it wasn't needed much as im a fast leaner A certain look was enough warning for most of the kids that lived in the same sort of time in their lives and in local area's.
Plus you'd be letting your self down talking to your folks in that way Even your own mates wouldn't want to know you.

Do you feel spare the rod and spoil the child is correct? And do you see no harm in giving a child who will not behave a good spanking is right?
 

I come from a large family and every single one us has gotten the belt if we stepped out of line. I brought my 3 kids the same way.
All of us have succeeded with a good education,jobs because of demanding parents.
I don't care what anyone says...it works.
 
We rarely spanked our kids,and then it wasn`t with a belt or anything,just a swat on the butt with an open hand. We were both spanked as kids- with hands, hairbrushes,and once even an electrical extension cord-just because that was what she happened to have in her hands at the time. That one left some nice marks on my legs. But that was more the norm back then-and we weren`t spanked very often-just for real serious infractions. Now we have the foster kids and corporal punishment is absolutely forbidden in any way,shape or form. Which is too bad because some could occasionally use a swat. But I do understand why it isn`t allowed....
 

I do not believe in hitting children under any circumstances. I have never forgiven my mother for raising her hand to me. I raised my children to be responsible ethical adults without ever having to resort to violence. At one point, I even went on strike when I felt their behaviour warranted it. Worked like a charm. Lol
 
We had a thread about this very subject from not too long ago, if anyone wants to glance back and see the mixed responses, some very emotional.

Personally, I am against physical punishment in any form. Taking the time and effort to utilize good communication strategies seems the way to go these days.
 
A natural upbringing is best. Nearly all mammals chastise their children on occasion, lion and bear cubs will frequently be sent spinning if they get a bit cheeky, but chastisement rarely causes permanent damage, nor is it administered with a weapon.
 
Mrs. Robinson said:
We rarely spanked our kids,and then it wasn`t with a belt or anything,just a swat on the butt with an open hand. We were both spanked as kids- with hands, hairbrushes,and once even an electrical extension cord-just because that was what she happened to have in her hands at the time. That one left some nice marks on my legs. But that was more the norm back then-and we weren`t spanked very often-just for real serious infractions. Now we have the foster kids and corporal punishment is absolutely forbidden in any way,shape or form. Which is too bad because some could occasionally use a swat. But I do understand why it isn`t allowed....
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Mrs R, question:
I’m not knowledgeable about foster parenting, and I was wondering if you are actually told (when you apply to be a foster parent) that corporal/physical punishment is forbidden? Or is there some type of training/signed documents which address the issue? Just curious. Thanks.
 
With respect, Laurie, I disagree. Other mammals are instinctual, rather than sentient. They live in the now. Humans, however, are blessed/cursed with consciousness and memory. The effects of physical/ emotional violence are cumulative . A hand can be a marvelously effective weapon when used against a helpless child, as is the fear of being hit. If our children do not show obvious damage from corporal punishment, it is in spite of it, not because of it. I will stake my personal and professional opinion on it.
 
applecruncher said:
Mrs R, question:
I’m not knowledgeable about foster parenting, and I was wondering if you are actually told (when you apply to be a foster parent) that corporal/physical punishment is forbidden? Or is there some type of training/signed documents which address the issue? Just curious. Thanks.
Click to expand...

It is very clearly written in all of the training documents and we sign documents agreeing to that. I would never spank anyone else`s child anyway,so it`s a moot point anyway. The only time I can even remember giving mine a swat was for doing something like darting into the street or something else dangerous and I don`t take kids that young.
 
My mother spanked me when I needed it, which wasn't very often, and never in public. I was respectful of her and my elders, and would never speak like some children do to their parents these days. If she gave me the 'evil eye', I knew to stop whatever it was that I was doing wrong.

I understand that some have been seriously beaten by their parents, they are totally against any spanking whatsoever, and that is completely understandable. My heart goes out to everyone who has ever been physically abused by a parent or guardian. Parents who are out of control, and whose spanking lead to serious injuries and scars (inside and out), should be stopped of course.

My mother never went beyond a regular spanking and my father never hit me at all, so I'm lucky and I don't resent her at all for it, I loved her very much. I guess I'd just take the "rod" out of that saying.
 
All I had to say to my kids... "you're pushing me kid!"... and give them the "face".... they laugh about that to this day...and ask me to "make the face"
 
I'm sure the evil eye was much like your face QS, you'll probably never lose that gift of making it for them! :D
 
How funny when you think of it.. a 5'4" 120 pound woman with a scary face could strike fear into two little monsters.. NOW? Grown men in their 40's love that little scary face and love when I make it.. (of course... i'm no longer 120 pounds.. so maybe the face is scarier.. lol!)
 
It is funny, QS. According to my kids, small women are more terrifying, something about being concentrated? My son married a tall woman, but replicates an amazing bulldog face himself, albeit with a beard. Lol. Jesse's wife cracks up when he (5'11) stands next to his 5'2" mother and we both make the same face. Lol.
 
Hi ,
Why should'nt they been spanked if they've broken your house rules?
If you dont have a deterrent?
Whats the point of trying to teach the kids why not to do the wrong things and what happens if you do.
 
When as a kid i did something wrong (and i did offten) My mum would tell me to go and get something she could punish me with it "a slipper or the like"
I never had the sense to find a feather duster, (i guess thats growing up 'the day you find a feather duster you should know right from wrong)
 

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