Sister angry at me

M

Mdk

New Member
hi, sister is angry at me. Claims I don’t treat her 37 and40 year old daughters well. Says I didn’t say hi to them at last party? I DID!

Also claims I didn’t congratulate one on her engagement. I forgot she got engaged! Then claims I didn’t acknowledge the same nieces newborn.

I didn’t hold the baby, I just looked at her.
In the meantime I am caring for my daughter in a wheelchair the past 2 years with out one visit or phone call from any of them

But I never say anything because I can’t control how others behave.
It’s a mess and I’m just at a loss right now as to why I’m in the crosshairs
 

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living
 

Welcome to this forum, Mdk, and I bet many here can relate to what you told us.

When others know we deal with a lot as it is, some people take advantage of us and try to control us or deliberately hurt our feelings-
It has happened to me, but I learned to avoid people like that, and I pray for some of them, but I still avoid them, because I think their lives are so petty and shallow, that they seek victims, to make themselves feel better.

You said
"In the meantime I am caring for my daughter in a wheelchair the past 2 years with out one visit or phone call from any of them

But I never say anything because I can’t control how others behave."

Maybe they feel guilty that they have not given you any support with a sick daughter, so they are projecting their unfounded
expectations, into criticism.

No we cannot control how others behave, but we can control how we react to them. And sometimes, when things like that have happened to me, my best response is often No response. I just say to myself "piss on them" because I do not need people like that in my life.
It can be difficult when this happens with relatives, who seem to have no concern about your situation, but prayer will give you strength, and I do hope your daughter gets well.
 
I'm sure my sisters wished they were born men. Well, is that not a no brainer. The Pain, Oh, the Pain. Its like Judge Judy at the family reunions.
Don't get me wrong I wiss there was more love shown but thats life. Some are born with it and some have not a clue.
 
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Rakaia said:
Respect and loyalty are 2 way streets.
Click to expand...
They sure are.


Mdk said:
hi, sister is angry at me. Claims I don’t treat her 37 and40 year old daughters well. Says I didn’t say hi to them at last party? I DID!

Also claims I didn’t congratulate one on her engagement. I forgot she got engaged! Then claims I didn’t acknowledge the same nieces newborn.

I didn’t hold the baby, I just looked at her.
In the meantime I am caring for my daughter in a wheelchair the past 2 years with out one visit or phone call from any of them

But I never say anything because I can’t control how others behave.
It’s a mess and I’m just at a loss right now as to why I’m in the crosshairs
Click to expand...
Welcome to the site.
Vent away. We don’t mind.
We will listen patiently

IMG_0209.jpeg
 
Hi all,
My daughter is moving forward to acute rehab tomorrow! I am so pleased for her.

I did text my sister, offering to see her and talk in person. I did also say that a ground rule would be no yelling. Remain calm. She was yelling at me on the phone yesterday. So far, crickets. ( meaning utter silence)

Maybe she’s mulling it over. I don’t know.
 
Welcome Mdk to this terrific site. We're all caring and can only offer our best wishes to you and your lovely daughter. I hope she will soon recover and be home again with you .
 
As a person who has been a caregiver for many years in the past I learned to not pay attention to others, They have no idea what you are going through.
They do not want to know. They want to live in a tiny bubble believing they are doing everything they can do.
In reality, you are living a life of pure exhaustion, fear and functioning on your last on the last bit of your strength. Yet, no one steps up to help in any way. Cook meals for you or to be frozen for the future. To come and help clean the house or do the yard work
 
Sorry, some how I cut myself off. The main thing is you are doing what is right, You are doing everything you can to take care of your daughter, that is a huge responsibilty. People that do not support and try to make things easier do not deserve your attention.

I have walked that road, where family and friends removed them selves from the situation due to there own weakness. It people can't handle the hard stuff they would rather ignore the truth. They just can't except and deal with it. I am so heartbroken for anyone that has to deal with this situation. It is more common than you think.

Go forward, support and give your child all the love and support she deserves. If others are not there to help ignore their words.
 
Blessed said:
Sorry, some how I cut myself off. The main thing is you are doing what is right, You are doing everything you can to take care of your daughter, that is a huge responsibilty. People that do not support and try to make things easier do not deserve your attention.

I have walked that road, where family and friends removed them selves from the situation due to there own weakness. It people can't handle the hard stuff they would rather ignore the truth. They just can't except and deal with it. I am so heartbroken for anyone that has to deal with this situation. It is more common than you think.

Go forward, support and give your child all the love and support she deserves. If others are not there to help ignore their words.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for this. I am really at a loss. The drama is taking up too much head space!
 
Mdk said:
hi, sister is angry at me. Claims I don’t treat her 37 and40 year old daughters well. Says I didn’t say hi to them at last party? I DID!

Also claims I didn’t congratulate one on her engagement. I forgot she got engaged! Then claims I didn’t acknowledge the same nieces newborn.

I didn’t hold the baby, I just looked at her.
In the meantime I am caring for my daughter in a wheelchair the past 2 years with out one visit or phone call from any of them

But I never say anything because I can’t control how others behave.
It’s a mess and I’m just at a loss right now as to why I’m in the crosshairs
Click to expand...
Well, I would tell your sister exactly what you said here about taking care of your daughter and no visits or phone calls from your sister and family, sheesh, some people.... Oh and welcome to the group!
 
Sounds very petty to me.
I think the best thing is not to engage with such behaviour, say hello, chat, but as soon as any yelling or petty accusations just walk away or hang up the phone.
Have a standard ' cut off line' like No, not discussing further - and then don't.
 
January said:
Sounds very petty to me.
...
Have a standard ' cut off line' like No, not discussing further - and then don't.
Click to expand...
I like that as it opens up the opportunity to use the power of silence, waiting to see where they want to take the conversation from there. If they try to go to go back, it's time to hit the replay button, no not discussing any further.
 
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