Someone Shovelled Our Driveway

Jules

Jules

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Not this snowfall, the one last week. It wasn’t heavy or deep.

Today that person did our neighbours instead. He wasn’t happy. He’s fit and this is part of his exercise & socialization.

Everyone here is a senior. For those that have problems, anyone will help. The driveways are short and flat.

Considering it wasn’t needed either time, it’s more of an insult. We don’t know who is doing it. It may seem strange that someone hasn’t thought that their favour isn’t appreciated. I’ve wondered if it’s someone in a different subdivision who thinks they’re paying it forward.
 

About 20 years ago I was laid up with my back, went on for 6 weeks, finally was able to get around with crutches, during that time we had record snow. Our neighbor without being asked came over shoveled all our walks and my wife's car out of the snow, after every storm. She was able to get me setup then make it to her work. I'm didn't feel ashamed or belittled at all. It was a kind gesture that that 70 year old man took on without asking for anything in return. Some people are just nice.
 

im old and on a walker and there have been times when people did things for me that I really didn’t need help with but I just thanked them graciously. Even if I didnt need it, I know it made them feel good to do it. The only time I’ve complained is if someone tried to take something out of my hands, thinking it was help.
 
I had to shovel this morning and I'd be delighted to discover that some caring soul had done it for me. No one helps anyone in my neighborhood anymore. People even shovel with masks on they're so afraid of others! So, personally, I'd be thrilled to receive an act of kindness such as this.
 
This is a very small community where members know each other and help. As I said, if someone has a problem, we’re all there. Again I’ll repeat it wasn’t welcome, because neither one of the homeowners needed it. In fact it was a disservice. Essentially someone is implying that you’re incompetent.

There’s another possibility that someone is checking out the community. Theft has been happening nearby.
 
Jules said:
Not this snowfall, the one last week. It wasn’t heavy or deep.

Today that person did our neighbours instead. He wasn’t happy. He’s fit and this is part of his exercise & socialization.

Everyone here is a senior. For those that have problems, anyone will help. The driveways are short and flat.

Considering it wasn’t needed either time, it’s more of an insult. We don’t know who is doing it. It may seem strange that someone hasn’t thought that their favour isn’t appreciated. I’ve wondered if it’s someone in a different subdivision who thinks they’re paying it forward.
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I have a question...maybe it's just me but if someone does you a kindness how on earth does someone get offended at that? Are people not thankful anymore when someone does something nice for them?
 
Kindness and consideration is the norm here. I know it seems strange but when the ‘kindness’ isn’t needed, it’s not appreciated. We all do these kind gestures here when someone has a problem of any kind. We look after each other. So doing it for a reason that implies you aren’t capable, it’s not welcome. It’s what the gesture implies. People need to think what they’re saying. If it was just us, we’d just have said it was a mistake. Our neighbour was really insulted. This is what he enjoys.
 
Jules said:
Kindness and consideration is the norm here. I know it seems strange but when the ‘kindness’ isn’t needed, it’s not appreciated. We all do these kind gestures here when someone has a problem of any kind. We look after each other. So doing it for a reason that implies you aren’t capable, it’s not welcome. It’s what the gesture implies. People need to think what they’re saying. If it was just us, we’d just have said it was a mistake. Our neighbour was really insulted. This is what he enjoys.
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I don't think that was the intention of the person who did it. And besides...how do you know? Did you ask him?
 
If it were me I would do something nice for someone regardless of whether I thought they were capable or not. Wouldn't matter what their age was either. It would be done with a good heart and good intentions. Nothing more. Sometimes I think people read too much into stuff.
 
I rarely look a gift horse in the mouth, but, having said that, I have to mention shovelling snow is hard work and people have been known to have a cardiac arrest while doing it. Personally, I would want to know if the person is fit enough to do this. Also “casing the house” is not unusual. It’s good to receive kindness graciously and also to return kindness, but it also pays to be wary.
 
usually if people are casing the house they're not gonna shovel your driveway. they're gonna wait till you're gone to do that. then come back later and break in.
 
Dana said:
Personally, I would want to know if the person is fit enough to do this.
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Yes he is very fit and this is what he enjoys. Until last month he was doing skilled, physical volunteer work and only quit because of Covid.

It wasn’t as though his was the last undone, it was early in the morning In fact there were several places who hadn’t shovelled yet, including a couple of single women who didn’t receive any help. They didn’t need it either. Those who really need it are given it without any asking.

We hadn’t thought much of it when ours was done last week. It was just when it happened to him. Even if someone considered it nice, it took self-esteem away from him. People need to think before they act. They need to know what their gesture says.
 
Jules said:
Yes he is very fit and this is what he enjoys. Until last month he was doing skilled, physical volunteer work and only quit because of Covid.

It wasn’t as though his was the last undone, it was early in the morning In fact there were several places who hadn’t shovelled yet, including a couple of single women who didn’t receive any help. They didn’t need it either. Those who really need it are given it without any asking.

We hadn’t thought much of it when ours was done last week. It was just when it happened to him. Even if someone considered it nice, it took self-esteem away from him. People need to think before they act. They need to know what their gesture says.
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Here's the thing though. It's not what their gesture says. It's the way they're perceiving it. We are taught from childhood to be nice to others. We are not however taught to question whether or not we should because it might upset someone. The way things are anymore it amazes me that anyone wants to be nice to anyone for any reason lest they might insult them. It's not really worth the trouble frankly. If I gotta worry about insulting someone then I might as well not help at all. You see my point?
 
If/when we have a heavy snowfall....6 inches or more....I, and a couple of the other neighbors who have tractors and blades, go through the area and clear most of the snow from everyone's gravel driveways. The county does a pretty good job of clearing the main road within a few hours, but that still leaves most with having to get from the house to the road. We haven't had a major snowfall for about 3 years, but I still keep a close watch on the weather reports, and if a big one is forecasted, I get the tractor/blade ready a couple of days, in advance. Out here, in the boondocks, everyone tries to look out for each other, and we "swap" favors, as needed.
 
I last had to shovel snow back in 1972. The only good thing about it was that afterward I would make a hot cup of tea and put a shot of rum in it. Now there is no snow and the rum isn't allowed any more.
 
Someone shoveled my driveway the snow before the last also.
I just wish I knew if it was a neighbor so I could say thank you when I see them out in spring.
I'm thinking though that there's people out there just wanting to be helpful.
 

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