Staying friends with your ex-partner

I would NEVER interact with my ex. The last time I spoke to her was when my older grandson was born. He is now 25.
 

people may grow apart as a couple but still have platonic feelings for someone.......
i think the idea you must never speak again makes it harder then it needs to be... while some may disagree a person changes ... and when you became a couple those two people no linger exist .........
maybe their is pain and anger over things but in time you might see at that time in your life you were good til you were no longer...
 
I divorced my first wife and got full custody of our kids because she got heavy into drugs after our 3rd child was born. She went to court-ordered in-patient rehab so she could get partial custody (every other weekend and summers). I paid for the rehab because she couldn't. Cost me a little over $2,000, and she seemed to be doing really well when she came to see the kids several months later. She looked and acted like the girl I married.

So, yep, I asked her if she wanted to spend the night. It was like old times except for the fresh needle marks. Plus, I know damn well she did a line in my bathroom, so I sent her home.

I called my attorney next day and he got a court-ordered drug test pretty quick. It helped that I lived in a small town, but the judge also saw that she wasn't showing up for the rehab's "maintenance" drug testing.

Bunch of stuff went down after that, but to be brief, that was the end of my relationship with my ex-wife, obviously. And after that, whenever a relationship ended, it was final no matter which of us broke it off. Even whenever she's said "We can still be friends, can't we?" I simply do not look back.
 

That's a big NO for me. My friends are a much better caliber of person than my ex. If I met her for the first time today I wouldn't like her one bit, her personality would instantly annoy me.

On the subject though I know a couple who divorced but ended up back together and living together. I've lost touch with them but know they were together for many years after they divorced.

My sons friend parents are divorced and routinely go out on double dates with exes and spouses.

Each to their own.
 
Have not seen or had contact from my EX for over 37 years.

I was oversea when I filed for divorce, using a Clause in the 'Soldier and Sailors Act'
for abandonment on her part.
(She was off on a drug journey)

Contacted a lawyer, we put an ad in the most circulated paper for 90 days at the last known address she
lived and stated I was filing for divorce.

We waited and she never responded and the judge declared I was divorced.
(No children were involved)

This might seem cold to some, but it was something I had to do, to get out from under.

About a year later, she contacted my parents asking for money and was told that since
we were divorced, they couldn't help her.

She told them 'No way, I never gave him a divorce!'
She contacted the local military base and got the bad news.

The Divorce was legal.

Heartless maybe, but I've never regretted it one day.
 
hollydolly said:
Ironically...today the 10th of July would have been my ex husband and my 47th Wedding anniversary...
Click to expand...
July 27 was our 54 th but I only celebrate my liberation day, Sept. 30, 1985. Just the thought of seeing him again only reminds me of how stupid I was which doesn't contribute to marriage #2. He doesn't belong in my new healthy relationship.
I had a friend who was married to a lawyer, but she couldn't have kids so they adopted a beautiful little boy. The lawyer and his secretary got together and eventually had a child of their own. One day I watched my friend wrap a gift for the ex's new baby and asked her how she felt about it. She said it wasn't the baby's fault, which is true, but I'll never forget the pain her face as behaved with so much class. I will always admire what a great person she is and sorry we lost contact with each other.
 
hollydolly said:
In all honesty I don't care about him... he did so many things in the past I can't forgive ... but I cannot watch someone I know be so ill ( Pancreatic cancer, and COPD).. and have no-one to help him... so I offered to do that... but in all honesty he really pushes my buttons because he's still a User .. regardless of his illness .. .. , but I've said nothing. I just do what I can for him while I can....my daughter ( his daughter, wants nothing to do with him..nor do any of his other kids)
Click to expand...
You're a kind lady.
 
My first husband has been dead for 30 years. I waited to divorce my second husband until the kids were adults. We have stayed friends because it’s best for our kids. They have never had to choose between who to invite to a wedding, family functions, etc.

I divorced husband 3 a few years ago and the only reason we have any contact is because I helped raise his son since he was 8. I value my relationship with my stepson and his wife. They are having a baby soon and I will be a grandma. I am thrilled. So we see each other at events involving my stepson. Despite the divorces I don’t wish anything bad on any of them.
 
I met my first real partner was when I was 24 years old. He was 19 years old. We remained together for 6 years and even bought a house together. We went our separate ways because we were both young and immature. He met someone else even before we split up but I was fine with that. We remained friends, and when I met my current partner of over 30 years we used to get together with the two of them. He even came to my father's funeral service in 2000, 12 years after we'd split up. Unfortunately, he passed away several years ago. He had been with his new partner for many years. His partner reached out to me personally to let me know. We still keep in touch because we both have fond memories.

I also still stay in touch via Facebook with my girlfriend of 3 years from high school. She is happily married now but we occasionally send each other links to songs we used to share together. Her husband has nothing to worry about. ;)

My view is that there are lots of reasons people split up but unless someone is an absolutely awful person in the relationship there is no reason not to continue to include them in your life. You loved each other and made memories at some point.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top