Stopping Christmas gift overload

C

caroln

Senior Member
Location
Kentucky
I finally decided to quit giving gifts to everyone in the family and limit it to just the kids. It was getting ridiculous...they get me a gift card and I give them a gift card, or they get me some knicknack that I don't need/want and I get them some sweater they never wear. Enough already! I texted my daughter about what I should get for my grandson and told her of my decision, and also texted my granddaughter about what I should get my great-granddaughter and about my decision. I haven't heard back yet. It should be interesting!
 

We’ve always exchanged lists. It’s kinda like you KNOW I’m going to get you something for Christmas, so at least give me an idea of the things you’d like/need, so you get something you will actually use!!

To keep the gift purchasing do-able because we’re a large family of kids, grandkids, significant others/spouses, we do a secret Santa gift exchange and also a white elephant/dirty Santa exchange. Everyone gets a randomized name to purchase a gift for and that’s why having a gift list is a good idea because that way you’ll get something from your Gifter that you want.

the white elephant/dirty Santa follows a different set of rules, but it’s still just one gift to purchase.

I buy a gift or two for everyone…each of my kids, the spouses, the grands and Ron, breaking all the rules 😂 but that’s because I want to!
 
I stopped the gift giving a while back. Now I send one check to my son's family, with little, fun token gifts each, or a game they could all play. They can decide amongst themselves to use the check for one or two large gifts for the household, an outing, or split the cash into equal amounts for each of them. It works for us.
 
caroln said:
I finally decided to quit giving gifts to everyone in the family and limit it to just the kids. It was getting ridiculous...they get me a gift card and I give them a gift card, or they get me some knicknack that I don't need/want and I get them some sweater they never wear. Enough already! I texted my daughter about what I should get for my grandson and told her of my decision, and also texted my granddaughter about what I should get my great-granddaughter and about my decision. I haven't heard back yet. It should be interesting!
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I'm the same. Everyone took it very well, including my daughter, who was only about 10 at the time.

Little kids, okay, because it really is magical for them, and they're unable to buy things for themselves.
 
When I was a kid, my parents gave gifts to EVERYONE - all cousins, neighbors, milkman, my teachers, the church pastor and even the school bus driver. They were seldom reciprocated. I felt like such a suck up giving gifts to teachers when not many other students did. Now, unless there's a Christmas party where there's a gift exchange or grab bag, I do no gift shopping and I haven't attended a holiday party since 2019.
 
We stopped exchanging gifts several years ago. My immediate family were fine with this. It’s was the in-laws that it took time to convince we were serious about no gifts.

One thing we do ,however, is when we gather for Christmas Eve or Day we will each bring some kind of gourmet food item to contribute toward a charcuterie board. Maybe a cheese or meat too expensive to buy regularly. It’s fun to see what everyone brings and we get to try foods we might not normally enjoy.
 
For me gift giving has not ever been a big chore. It is basically myself, my son(29), his wife(28), my mom & dad, and I usually get a token gift for my son's wife's parents like a Christmas Ornament. Most of the time the presents are combined gifts as well like 1 gift for my son & his wife, and 1 for my mom & dad.

While my son was growing up we always spent Christmas at my parents home and now that my parents are older we spend it at my home. I imagine once I get much older it will be at my sons and my daughter in laws home.
 
If you're familiar with "The Five Languages of Love", the author explains how GIFTING is how some people express their love. And yes, some people make it into a holiday obsession. I have a few family members who drive themselves into a frenzied compulsive holiday nightmare stressing about who gets what X-mas gift. Nuts! I've tried calm conversations trying to discourage the "gift obsession". I lost. It's like telling a zebra not to wear stripes.
 
In my family once you graduated highschool that was it, no more gifts, and us siblings never exchanged gifts. I ended that tradition with my kids, they are 29 and 30 and I still buy them some gifts just for the fun of it.
 
I don't give gifts anymore, and I don't want people to give them to me. I bring goodies to holiday gatherings — cookies, homemade candies, and eggnog. That's my "gift" to everyone. They appear to enjoy it. Being able to spend time with people I care about is a gift in itself. :)
 
Years (ok decades) before I quit doing Christmas, my older sister was on welfare, the elks lodge got her name and asked her how many children does she have and how old.

Geeze, they gave her enough gifts that she celebrated with the children getting 4 toys, then three at their birthdays and then the next Christmas they got 3 more.

While my sister appreciated it, she was a tad overcome with the amount.
 
I give gift cards as thats what my bunch likes. They mainly want Amazon cards so thats what they get. Very easy. I request Walmart gift cards as I have my groceries delivered now that I no longer drive.
 
caroln said:
I finally decided to quit giving gifts to everyone in the family and limit it to just the kids. It was getting ridiculous...they get me a gift card and I give them a gift card, or they get me some knicknack that I don't need/want and I get them some sweater they never wear. Enough already! I texted my daughter about what I should get for my grandson and told her of my decision, and also texted my granddaughter about what I should get my great-granddaughter and about my decision. I haven't heard back yet. It should be interesting!
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I notified all my friends when i was in my early twenties that I was not giving any more Xmas gifts to anyone except children. They all accepted it with no problem. It was one of the smartest decisions I ever made.
 

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