Stress, do you confront it or run from it?

DebraMae said:
I have a tendency to ruminate and overthink everything which just multiplies any stressor that I am dealing with. I am trying to make a conscious effort to do a Scarlett O'Hara and "think about it tomorrow". Sounds counterproductive but in my case it helps me get things into a better perspective and that old saying about sleep on it is beneficial for me.
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There are no rules to this! ☺️
 

Sometimes it just needs to be confronted or endured. No easy fix.

Other times we need to make hard decisions. A stressor can be killing us, but we don't want to get rid of it for moral or survival reasons. Also, it's hard to think clearly when things get that bad.

As for everyday stresses, I learned long ago that I need to manage these. If I take on too much, I start forgetting my purse in the bus, or tripping over furniture, or not noticing my surroundings. So it can even be dangerous.

That's why I now take Mondays off. The endless round of tasks and responsibilities, with almost no reward, was getting to be too much. I've been "working poor" (and a single parent) for much of my life, so stress has been a constant companion.

Someone mentioned having a good cry. Mostly I refuse to cry. As a teenager and young adult I cried too much. It didn't help anything. And it was embarrassing, or led to other problems, if it happened in front of another person or people.
 

Work related stress is nearly all in my past, thank heavens.

I mostly avoid the stress of politics and news. Reading various news sources gives me agency over the input. Watching or listening gives input control to entities with their own agenda (which might be to keep viewers stressed out and tuned in). My aim is to remain reasonably well informed with a mind that's open, but not so widely that others can dump in their garbage.

Same with certain ongoing arguments on this very forum. I nearly walked away from SF altogether, but a SF friend counseled me to immerse myself in the games threads for a breather. I immediately unsubscribed from all Covid related threads along with a few other contentious topics, stopped clicking on similar ones, cleansed my SF experience for at least a month with forum games, found new SFers to interact with, and learned to only click on interesting topics.

How do I deal now with baiting threads where the usual suspects line up in the usual ways, many raging at each other?
I avoid them like the stress plagues they are.

Personal stress can often be relieved with information. Research, learn and formulate a game plan ASAP, adjusting as necessary. That's my style.

Close family members and trusted friends (including a handful of SF friends) give wise counsel or a sympathetic ear when I need it. Having good people in one's life is the best stress reducer.
 
Times when a bunch of things in life are going wrong, I feel I want to run away, drive and drive and drive and drive.
(Last time I did that I ended up in Alaska)
I don't do that now. I take one thing at a time, nice and easy, and soon everything sort of falls into place. Handle it.
and I do transcendental deep meditation, Don't laugh! It reduces stress significantly! It's really amazing!
I play my old rock and roll music. Sing along. Dance. Design things in my head.
I like what Laurie and Knight posted. Just enjoy life! Being alive is pretty amazing, when you think about it!
 
I never get to recover from stress, it's just always there. One thing or another makes my life difficult. I've found if I don't let my feelings take over, it won't become a mountain. It's easier now that I live alone and I don't have to listen to someone else being catastrophic, listing all the things that could happen, making things worse.
 
chic said:
These are particularly stressful times so we are probably feeling a bit more stress than usual. How do you best or most frequently cope with the stresses in your own life. Confront? Run? Other?
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I have had a lot of illness lately, so I haven't the energy to do anything but hide. If there is something that I can actually do about a stressful situation, I do it. If it is world news, I binge watch programs, do creative writing, listen to music, or try to reach out to others.
 
I have, like many of you, experienced stressful times, from illnesses to accidents to family deaths. Stress can be caused by a number of things, from positive to negative. Even a birthday party, which is considered a positive experience, can be stressful (who to invite, preparing the food, cleaning up, buying gifts, etc). Each change, whether a marriage, buying a house, selling a house, a divorce, going to school, taking a trip, graduating, having children, a death of a family member or spouse - these are all stressors. And they have different levels of stress. For example, if your spouse dies, that is a heavy-duty stressor and carries more weight than a birthday party. Also, there is stress from family members that can spill over into our lives.

I read once that if you have more than 3 stressors in 6 months, then the likelihood of becoming ill is much higher. Stress can affect our health. It happened to me, and I've been very careful not to add more stress than I can handle within a six month period. It seems to have worked so far (keep my fingers crossed).
 
I'm not sure. I've dealt with pretty severe stress since childhood. Of coarse at the time, I had no idea. I didn't even process it for years and years as an adult. It's one of the reasons I have an eating disorder. I comfort myself with food. I don't take stress well, I self deprecate a lot and my mind fills with bad memories when I'm stressed. I can't make decisions and stress probably runs my life.
 
Stress makes the world go 'round. There ain't nowhere to run to, there ain't nowhere to hide... there's nothing you can do except deal with it the best way you can. You can try to run and hide but that doesn't fix anything. When you get back or come out of hiding, the problem is still there. How I deal with stress and alleviate it depends on what's causing it and whether I have any control of the situation.

 
Irrational people stress me out, which is why I prefer solitude most of the time. There are far too many irrational people in the world. Add all the dishonest people to the mix and it amounts to a rather unpleasant place.
 
Alligatorob said:
When I was working I was drawn to it, professionally. I did a lot of expert witness and related work which can be quite stressful. I thrived on it, for a time anyway. It did eventually wear me down a bit.
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Yeah, as head of purchasing, worldwide, at first, I had nightmares about it all.
My previous position was materials management, inventory control. Tangible processes. It was there, I could see it, touch it, deal with it.
In purchasing, from offshore, everything was in limbo....for months at a time.
Took a long while to deal with it, accept it, establish trust with reliable vendors.
Of course, once it's on the boat, some wizard in marketing commits to schedule move ups, promising the customer.
That's when I'd call a meeting
The conference room would get rather warm
Thought I might get canned over my tirades
No
They bumped me into VP of Operations

Go figure
 
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Nathan said:
Confront it=fight
run from it=flight
Fight or Flight= primal emotional responses

For me it depends....with a real life stressor I'll confront it and be done. For an imagined or some worry about the future- that takes a bit longer to resolve.
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The fight or flight responses come from the adrenal gland that sits on top of the kidneys. I am prone to this. Some people are more anxious than others. That's me!
 
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