Stuff we will never hear and want to

[Victor]

This computer is hard to set up and confusing to use. It cost too much.
Doctor: I have an hour to spend with you. Is that enough time?
Mechanic: Your car will take all day and more. We work slowly and are too busy
Therapist: I don't understand at all and have no idea how to help you
but come next week anyway..
Forum Moderator: You can write anything you want and will never be banned.
Pro Athlete: I am so overpaid and I never even practice.
Store owner: Look around, handle my merchandise, use the toilet and you don't have to buy anything.

have one?

 

[applecruncher]

Hair stylist: I have no idea what to do with you. I recommend the "just got out of bed" look - it might catch on.

 

[Pepper]

Sorry to be morose, but:
Stuff we will never hear and want to
The sounds of the voices I miss.............

 

[Ladybj]

Best friend: remember when I told you me and your husband never spent time together inappropriately? I lied.

 

[Pepper]

" from @hollydolly"
Don't worry, holly, I realized I hear them perfectly in Dreams!

 

[Pink Biz]

 

[C'est Moi]

"You won powerball."

 

[Ruthanne]

Anyone: You look so slim and not a day over 35!!

 

[treeguy64]

Doctor: I am going to provide you with an itemized list that details exactly how I arrive at the exorbitant price you will pay me, today.

 

[treeguy64]

Car mechanic: I actually don't have a clue what's wrong with your car, so I'm going to test every single system on it, and charge you $100/hr. while doing so. Hopefully I'll come up with something that'll convince you that it's fixed, but if you bring it back, I'll start the whole process over, again, and charge you even more.

 

[Ruthanne]

Doctor:. Eat and drink anything you want. You will still live to be 100

 

[Ruthanne]

Yearly social security increases admin:. Your check will increase to $10,000.00 per month starting in January!

 

[applecruncher]

Dentist: Give the front desk a check for $5,000. I'll put you to sleep, hygienist will rinse your mouth out and we'll call it a day.

 

[Lvstotrvl]

Getting a phone call telling me I won an all expense trip to Ireland for a month!!

 

[CarolfromTX]

Yes, dear, you were right. I'm sorry for doubting you.

 

[jujube]

Plumber: "There, all it was was a little clog. I wouldn't feel right charging you for coming out!"

Fitness Instructor: "Hey, if you can't touch your toes, it's OK to just touch your knees or even your thighs. We're just here to have fun, after all!"

 

[Ladybj]

Doctor: I am going to provide you with an itemized list that details exactly how I arrive at the exorbitant price you will pay me, today.

IF ONLY!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Duster]

Marriage Therapist; I, myself am not married and I go to a psychiatrist weekly. I haven't got a clue how you two ever stayed together this long, but keep coming in and talking to me, at $90 an hour, as long as your insurance will keep paying the bills. We can do this for years!

 

[Duster]

 

[Ladybj]

Marriage Therapist; I, myself am not married and I go to a psychiatrist weekly. I haven't got a clue how you two ever stayed together this long, but keep coming in and talking to me, at $90 an hour, as long as your insurance will keep paying the bills. We can do this for years!

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!

 

[Fyrefox]

Personal Trainer: Why worry about exercise and getting into shape? We all eventually succumb to gravity, and we'll all die anyways. Go get a hot fudge sundae, and make it a double!

 

[Marlene]

Good looking fellow: Sure, I'd be delighted to take you dancing two or three nights a week. Yes, I can waltz, foxtrot, rumba, tango, salsa and swing. Put on your dancing shoes, and let's go.

 

[applecruncher]

Cashier: Please wait until you get home to count your change. We like for our customers to be surprised!

 

[Sunny]

"Mrs. Jones, little Tommy is my favorite student. He's the smartest kid in the class, very popular with everybody, and cute as the dickens. You and Mr. Jones must be doing something right!"

 

[Gardenlover]

I'm pregnant (Not me personally - I'd be rich )