Subarachnoid haemorrhage

B

Bluecheese50

Member
Location
UK
My husband suffered a subarachnoid haemorrhage in December 2006, which has trashed half his brain. The surgery perform on him at the time has damaged his brain further. We were not informed that it would be the case, before it was carried out! Although we were told that it would leave my husband drooling in a care home, he has made a much better than expected recovery. He was highly intelligent heretofore, and was determined to put back as much as he could. Brain damage is a weird thing, he can do complicated graphs on the computer, but couldn't compose or send an e-mail. He is highly frustrated that as a former academic, he can no longer participate in activities of this nature, which were his greatest love. He was also highly articulate, but due to aphasia now struggles to find the right words. I am of the opinion it would have been much kinder for him, and all concerned, if he hadn't survived the brain haemorrhage.

Have other posters had experience of this condition?
 

My mother had a stroke which resulted in aphasia and severe brain damage. She was eighty seven. Although she lived to be almost ninety four, her life and intelligence were severely compromised. She was unable to make complex decisions, garden,

or cook for herself. My aunt held power of attorney. She had been a professional vefore retirement. Although she seemed happy enough, I know she was a shadow of herself. Previously, she had spoken many times of quality of life rather than

quantity. Had she been cognizant, she would have preferred to have remained in a coma following her debilitating stroke, rather than life the rest of her life as a child.
 
I think that quality of life is much more of value than quantity. I think a person should have the absolute right to end their life, with help if necessary, if it is a burden to them, which can't be fixed.
 

Bluecheese, so sorry to hear about your husband, that is very sad...hugs. I don't know of that condition, too bad we don't have a crystal ball that tells us the future when it comes to surgeries like that. I would have had the surgery too if it were my husband, but would feel like you, very much devastated, heartbroken and frustrated by the end results.

Years ago, my husband's father had a major stroke in his 80s, his carotid artery was 99% blocked with calcified deposits. The stroke left him unable to care for himself, half his body was paralyzed, aphasia, etc. We moved him and his wife into our home and we took the basement. He had to be lifted in and out of bed, fed, cleaned, and had no control over his bodily functions. He was miserable, couldn't communicate, cried a lot and sometimes shut down.

We had him in his wheelchair with us at the dinner table every day, usually by me or his wife who fed him. We spent time with him in the living area, took him outside in the yard, and spent time with him in his room. We gave him a TV and made sure he could watch something that interested him. We had to cover the buttons on the remote except for the on and off button, and sometimes he couldn't utilize that. My husband prepared special meals of things they both loved and we did our best to make his last years as pleasant and full of love as possible.

After he passed on, in our home on Christmas Day we all agreed that we would rather not survive a major stroke like that if it meant the life he had (or didn't have). I am completely in favor of assisted suicide, as made famous by Dr. Kevorkian. You're right, once your quality of life has deteriorated so intensely, many of us would rather just move on and rid ourselves and our families of the pain and misery.

My mother had a stroke that put her in a coma in her 70s, they said if she came out of the coma she'd be like a vegetable due to the brain stem damage, thankfully she passed soon in the hospital and never did wake up. I know she would have wanted it that way too.

My heart goes out to both of you. :rose:
 
Bluecheese, I was so taken by your original post that I forgot to include my sincere sympathies to you and your husband in my reply. I am truly sorry that both of you must deal with such a tragic situation.
 
Thank you for the kind replies. I admit not to being as patient as I should with my husband. He is probably still light years more intelligent than me which wouldn't be difficult, as I am the family thicko, our three birth children take after him! However, there are occasions when I know best where matters of his health is concerned, and he refuses to take my advice, which leads to a very frank exchange of views!
 
I'm sure sorry too for the situation that your husband finds himself in. It must be so frustrating for him to live like that and you must find it to be an intensely difficult thing to muster patience over and over again with no 'end' in sight.

My husband is a really smart guy also, but he's absent minded to the extreme sometimes and always has been. We have always joked that if alzheimers begins to affect him, it will be hard to notice a difference but now as we're aging, I'm trying to learn to be more patient when he's in a dithering mood and reminding myself regularly that he's not doing it on purpose. Your situation is even more extreme and you have my sympathy.
 
Bluecheese50, I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through. I understand fully how hard it is not to lose patience with people sometimes, even when it's not their fault. I agree with all the other posters here, especially what Seabreeze said about assisted suicide.
 
My husband cannot drive anymore more and so is dependent on me to take him places, which aren't in walking distance, it is very frustrating for him. We are very different people, we always did our own thing before his illness never sharing the same interests. We only have our children and grandchildren in common, fortunately our daughters will take him out from time to time to concerts and the cinema, which I dislike.

I think I find it easier that we are not romantically attached to each other in the way that some couples are. If he dies before me I won't have a problem moving on, and visa versa.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top