@Sawfish
Amherst? Very familiar with this fabulous school. Or maybe not so fabulous if it harmed your daughter.
You would know it if you know Amherst/Williams/Bowdoin/etc.
I'm not gonna dox her, however. I'm simply trying to make a point about how different the cultures are.
I went and told her how much fun college was, but it sure wasn't what she encountered.
I'm apolitical--I don't think that one "side" is good, the other bad, but here's a great example.
She started and was fairly excited all right, but the early sign was that there no longer any college comedy performances. She had expected to sing a sort of house song as apart of the freshman init ritual for residence houses--looked forward to it in a weird way, thought it was "fun"--but the student leaders of the house waived all that. She was sort of disappointed.
OK, that's fine.
Toward the end of her freshman year, maybe spring break, she told me that she was walking with a classmate who was a person of color and trans female. She said that without any apparent awareness, the person told her in conversation that she, the trans person, "hated white people and cis gendered people."
With a sense of open amazement and disappointment, my daughter (half Asian) said:
"And she said that and it meant that she must hate me, because I'm half white and heterosexual."
So I could understand this.
Also (and this was quite funny in a way), she told me at that time that she noticed that in some situations others would count her as a PoC, and in other situations she was white. She saw this as absurd, ironic.
But gradually over the next few years she became fairly critical of my tendency to poke fun at inconsistencies in behaviors/beliefs.
In her last year we discussed use of "the N word". It's hurtful (understandable), but it's hard to believe that it's terribly hurtful when many PoC use the word freely themselves. SO it got around to asking if it's hurtful if PoC say it (no), but only if others say it (yes). And to top it off, when I asked if some people are allowed to use that word and others weren't, and she said "Yes." I asked if there might be other such words, and she said "yes". This would mean that depending on what group you are a member of, you could either use all words available, or only some of them.
So much for equality, then.
But I shut up about it, or at least dialed it back and it's starting to go away now, out in the real world. The problem, if it is one, is taking care of itself, and this is probably because my daughter has never been a doctrinaire ideologue. She a realistic pragmatist since childhood.
It was very tough to see this. It was driven by social acceptance. All most all social activities were by invitation only, and you could very easily be locked out. There seemed to be almost a social competition for the highest moral ground. There was apparently no awareness of hypocrisy or inconsistency.
Anyway, I hope not to offend, seriously...
Hah! One last funny (ironic) thing!
You are right about the rigor of the schools like that, at least there, for sure. But much of the oddness came out of the students, and what she was describing to me in her classes was that very often the profs were trying to moderate the ideas the students were espousing in class. So it was the *opposite* as when I went to SD State in the 60s: some profs injected the more radical ideas and students ran with these new ideas.
Many of the ideas sank of their own weighty self-contradictions, over time.